TC Media Studio closing

[Greg]

You did good work there.

[Drunk Monk]

I’ve been awake for like 36 hours now. Couldn’t sleep last night due to the rip-KFTC brain circus and the fear of finding work in these times. Every time I started to dose off, another bucket of adrenaline dumped into my stomach. Couldn’t eat well today either due to that. Tried to nap several times but just started tweaking out. I started to nod during Brooklyn 99 and almost went down. My mom is watching Masked winter at top volume and it’s playing into my sleep deprived hallucinations. Must sleep. Need rest. Even vodka isn’t helping.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

So sorry, Dude. I had a similar tweak years ago when we were out of the blue given a 30 day eviction notice. This was at the height of the first Dot Com craze and vacancy rates were at 3% (according to CraigsList at the time). Couldn’t sleep for a couple days. High Anxiety fucking sucks. Any CBD available?

[Drunk Monk]

Got one sound sleep cycle in - no dreams. But am now awake again with that brain circus on full. Big adrenaline dump in my stomach right now. I suspect I’ll be like this for a while, until I find decent work again. 
Gonna try grab another cycle

---

Yeah, that’s not likely. Now I’m hungry and tweaking. No Cbd but that doesn’t work as a sedative for me. I’ve not had any Cbd/thc since the new year. I’ll probably keep abstaining until I’m securely employed again - it’s too introspective for me now and I’m already obsessing about identity with this career change.

[Greg]

Sadly for us males, so much of our identity is tied up with what we do.

[Drunk Monk]

True. Stacy says she’s looking forward to watching me reinvent myself. KFTC was such an immersive job. I was always writing in the back of my head. Also my role in the martial world changes - although the martial world is changing now too. It’s collapsing in on itself - so many schools are closing - hard to say what it’ll look like on the other side.

I chatted with Patrick yesterday. We were both somewhat blindsided by the lay-off. We knew the mag had been in jeopardy for some time but we both thought we’d survive it with TC. Didn’t calculate for the loss of business. He came to CA from NY with just a backpack and got the TC job in two weeks after arriving. We’re both trying to get our heads around going back to freelance gig-to-gig work. He’s younger and his gf does balloons so she’s always gig-2-gig. I got to get my hustle reframed if I’m going to do that. There’s a part of me that just wants to find some mellow regular job in the Cruz where I can retire in a decade, something essential, ya know?

[Greg]

Hippy in residence at UCSC?

[Drunk Monk]

Hippy in residence at UCSC?

 
I really doubt there are any openings there. 

BTW, Book #2 is now on hold. That was a TC-specific project. I might retool it for myself. 

I need to set up a personal wordpress site to start blogging. I was talking with Tara about that last night because she set up one for herself as part of a high school project.

[Greg]

Been there. Done that. I used Divi.

[Drunk Monk]

Been there. Done that. I used Divi.

I may tap you for advice later. Is Divi a paid thing?

@TC now. Took care of some biz, like letting our printer & distributors know we’re ceasing publication and a lot off add maintenance. Had a long chat with Jonny. Might freelance the social media for a while which would maintain some side hustles. Fucked up and deleted a file I needed because I’m so sketched out right now (a replaceable file, one that I’ll need if this freelance thing comes to pass). I better move to packing now because that’s mindless and I need to not think about this too hard or I’ll lose it.

[Drunk Monk]

Wow that was hard. My desk is surrounded by mementos and going through them was emotionally brutal, especially keepsakes from Tara and my shrine to the fallen. Saying goodbye over email to our printers/distributors and some of the TN office hurt more than I thought it would. I got choked up talking to two of the warehouse guys that are good friends. Patrick came in to start cleaning his space too. It was really good to see him. I will miss him the most. We've been through so much together. 

I'm pretty wrung out right now. I'm at my mom's to move some stuff into storage, then I'll go home. 

I'll go back next week for the formal public announcement of the end of KFTC, as well as notifying our freelancers and advertisers. But at least I have a plan with what remains of TC, assuming it can survive.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Man, that is a lot of years and a lot of people.

[Greg]

I'm against this.

[Drunk Monk]

Man, that is a lot of years and a lot of people.

Do you mean my shrine to the fallen? That's only taken off in the last few years. It was a lot of those memorial cards they give out in funerals.

Or do you mean the freelancers and advertisers? I only need to deal with the active ones. The rest will find out via social media. 

Wait, what do you mean?

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Your years working at TC. That’s a deep well of human contacts.