03-12-2013, 04:49 PM
Asoka (2001) by Santosh Sivan
I suppose I ought to know the tale of Ashoka the Great, who ruled most of southern Asia from 273 BCE to 232 BCE and eventually embraced Buddhism. But I don't. This is a fictional version. A boy prince, Asoka, is upset when his dad the Emperor tosses away his mighty sword to follow a life of peace. Despite his father's warning that the sword is in fact a demon that, when unsheathed, craves blood, the boy retrieves it from the river.
Asoka of course grows up to become a brutal leader. Shahrukh Khan plays Asoka, and he wields not only his father's sword but another weird sword that is long and flexible and has two tines -- if that makes sense. He can use it almost like a chain whip, wrapping it about his body. Unfortunately, it can't really be used like a convention sword because it's way too floppy. Shahrukh Khan makes a spectacle of himself wielding either of these weapons. When he spins the conventional sword about, his free hand crabs or drops limply at his side. Making matters worse, he teaches swordsmanship to his main love interest in the film, Kaurwaki, played by Kareena Kapoor. Soon she is his equal in maladroitness. Kareena Kapoor is, by the way, the daughter of two notable actors. In fact, one could say that the Kapoors are the Baldwins of India. Kareena isn't a natural beauty. She has ungainly looks and wears way too much makeup, but somehow this works to her advantage -- helped by a paucity of clothing. She is a warrior, by the way, who in battle covers her lush melons with armor but maintains a bare midriff. Xena would be proud. She also sports cool henna on her arms and other body parts, except for certain scenes where it just disappears.
The movie runs 2 hrs. 45 min. and is way overlong. It bombed with the critics and the viewers, but has an epic battle scene near the end that almost works. There were over 6000 extras, and you really can't go wrong by lining up a whole bunch of elephants in battle garb. All in all, and despite Bollywood dance numbers and swordfights, a waste of time. But perhaps that's as it should be, considering that the Large Hadron Collider over near Geneva just found tantalizing hints of a new particle they're calling the wastron.
I suppose I ought to know the tale of Ashoka the Great, who ruled most of southern Asia from 273 BCE to 232 BCE and eventually embraced Buddhism. But I don't. This is a fictional version. A boy prince, Asoka, is upset when his dad the Emperor tosses away his mighty sword to follow a life of peace. Despite his father's warning that the sword is in fact a demon that, when unsheathed, craves blood, the boy retrieves it from the river.
Asoka of course grows up to become a brutal leader. Shahrukh Khan plays Asoka, and he wields not only his father's sword but another weird sword that is long and flexible and has two tines -- if that makes sense. He can use it almost like a chain whip, wrapping it about his body. Unfortunately, it can't really be used like a convention sword because it's way too floppy. Shahrukh Khan makes a spectacle of himself wielding either of these weapons. When he spins the conventional sword about, his free hand crabs or drops limply at his side. Making matters worse, he teaches swordsmanship to his main love interest in the film, Kaurwaki, played by Kareena Kapoor. Soon she is his equal in maladroitness. Kareena Kapoor is, by the way, the daughter of two notable actors. In fact, one could say that the Kapoors are the Baldwins of India. Kareena isn't a natural beauty. She has ungainly looks and wears way too much makeup, but somehow this works to her advantage -- helped by a paucity of clothing. She is a warrior, by the way, who in battle covers her lush melons with armor but maintains a bare midriff. Xena would be proud. She also sports cool henna on her arms and other body parts, except for certain scenes where it just disappears.
The movie runs 2 hrs. 45 min. and is way overlong. It bombed with the critics and the viewers, but has an epic battle scene near the end that almost works. There were over 6000 extras, and you really can't go wrong by lining up a whole bunch of elephants in battle garb. All in all, and despite Bollywood dance numbers and swordfights, a waste of time. But perhaps that's as it should be, considering that the Large Hadron Collider over near Geneva just found tantalizing hints of a new particle they're calling the wastron.
