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I’m at some martial arts function watching Lam kwoon’s lion dance team struggle through a performance. Jeff, playing the lead tail, isn’t bent over enough but does an interesting shimmy, which I compliment him on afterwards. The banner unfurling is messed up. Then I’m asked to do a demo, which ends up being applications of bengbu, the first mantis form. I do it with Jeff who keeps moving the wrong way, into the strike until I scold him because it’s a groin strike and he’s going to get hit.
Psychoanal - I’ve got the TCEC volunteer meeting this Sunday so I’m thinking about it a lot, even when I sleep. Jeff is on my dragon crew. Also Ted has asked me about refreshing his mantis because he wants to add it to his curriculum - he asks me about this every few months and forgets about it. Not sure what’s up with that.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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Spent last evening comforting Yuki who hates fireworks. We gave him some CBD biscuits, but he was skeptical and only ate them after they were slathered with butter, then he spit some of it up. He was a wreck most of the evening, but after talking down so many people on bad trips, talking down my dog isn't too taxing.
Once I got him down (snuggled next to me in my bed), I fell asleep quickly. I dreamt I was at a ticketing gate in China and that for some unknown reason, the petty tyrant official gatekeeper was charging me an extra $100 USD to pass. I couldn't reason with him.
Psychoanal: Pre-trip stress, obvs.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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I’m in my mom’s garage and have a rat tail staff and I dearly want to practice my new Shaolin staff form. But there’s no room. It’s night and my family is asleep in the house. I keep banging stuff. Then suddenly the garage is empty so I have room. But I can only remember the first move and that’s sketchy. Then Tara cries out from the guest room that she’s trying to sleep. But it’s Tara when she was a wee child. I apologize to her through a closed door, then go about the house turning off lights. I bid her good night when done, although frustrated that I can’t remember my new form.
When I wake, I try to remember that form. When I wake up more I realize I haven’t learned a new staff form in 30 years.
Psychoanal: Despite being hungover and skipping a lot of Kung Fu last Saturday, I had a fairly solid workout. I remembered my forms relatively well and felt strong and stable. Watching the six newly certified Sifus at the banquet that night, I realized my skills were on par with theirs, apart from them all being young, like in their 20s. Several other Sifus asked me if I was teaching, and it made me yearn to get back into it. On top of that, the instructor at the academy where I train taught his students lianbu (a form I’ve known since the late 70s) and his students look awful. I’ve been biting my tongue about that - he’s been teaching beginners advance Taiji theory and none of them can even throw a punch. Lianbu is a military form and its well known. This new crop of students is embarrassing.
Also Tara is headed to DC from Tues 2 Fri for her job and given the state of our government and what’s happening in CA, I’m dad stressing it.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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I was in church and the minister kept asking everyone to move towards the middle since there was empty space. When we were moving, I saw a penny on the ground and reached down to pick it up. I came up with a money clip. Then my dad was sitting next to me, with money in his hand, obviously having lost his money clip, so I handed it to him. Then as a thank you, he handed me some money. Then I woke up.
Not sure what that's about. Finding something better than what I was looking for? I rarely dream about my father.
the hands that guide me are invisible
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I’m in the passageway between the front door and the kitchen at my mom’s house with Yuki. Yuki starts talking to me in English. At first, I’m like ‘Did you just speak to me in English?’ When he answers ‘yes’ i just accept it like you do in dreams. Yuki tells me about his insecurities, especially when he’s left home alone. He has a higher pitched voice than I imagined, surprisingly soft spoken given his big dog bark. He tells me a lot about his perspective on life - he comes off as slightly neurotic.
Psychoanal: I do wish Yuki could talk. He has been getting more elxfrssive with his gaze and talking sounds. I think his singing along with Stacy’s piano practice has broadened his vocabulary
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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Tell us more about ‘elxfrssive’
—tg
(It’s 5am…Ikve been awake since 3:30am for no good reason…)
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It’s a Yuki word apparently
Coincidentally I woke around 3 and tossed and turned for the rest of the morning, stressing the weight of the world…
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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Should have come over. I headed out with the Aoife at 3:55
As a matter of fact, my anger does keep me warm
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Ask Aoife what elxfrssive means...
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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I thought everyone knows what that means?
As a matter of fact, my anger does keep me warm
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