11-13-2014, 02:51 PM
This is a perfect example of a so-bad-it's-kinda-good flick. It was a flailing attempt at an international film by Golden Harvest starring George 'lamest Bond since Woody Allen' Lazenby as the titular character and Angela Mao, one of the first queens of Kung Fu, a superkicker best known to most by her role as Bruce Lee's sister in Enter the Dragon. Aw man, where to begin? Well, as this is the DOOM forum, I am reminded of a quote from the ever-wise ED during some DOOM vid gathering. There was a random gratuitous nekkid lady in some unremembered film and DM asked ponderously "wth?" to which ED quipped something to the effect that it was a nekkid lady and we shouldn't question such things; we should be grateful. Stoner has a lot of gratuitous breasts, mostly at the beginning in a big orgy where the women are topless on stretchers or in see-thru tops in the evil drug lord cult disco lair (actually, that turns out to be a minor drug lord) and more serving cocktails in the top evil drug lord supervillain's lair.
Beyond that, the soundtrack is really funky, a spin on the Frankenstein riff repeated in a disco/honkytonk rendition ad nauseum. The attire is stunning 70s, bell bottoms, platforms, wide collared beige suits and matching pants, wide collared gaudy shirts unbuttoned below the nipples (that's men's nipples) and some sports jackets that are downright eye-frying. For some reason, it reminded me of Scapino. That often happens with boisterous 70s heroes. It's probably unfair to Scapino but hey, it's how I choose to remember him.
Lazenby is horrible - he can't sell a fight scene at all - he delivers huge haymakers and karate chops, and flailing kicks. It's only the flying stuntman who make him look like he's fightin. He can't sell a kiss either - lame snogging with prostitutes and villainesses. How the heck did this guy become a Bond?
Angela Mao is a different story entirely. I was struck by how much a young Lucy Liu looked like her. And she can deliver fine kicks with her signature petulant glare. She and Lazenby reenact the night fight - a classic from Peking Opera where both combatants act like they can't see each other.
The villainess is Betty Ting Pei, the woman who's bed Bruce Lee died in. The other villains are supposed to be Japanese (you can tell by their kimonos). Mostly they are greasy-haired bad-suits sucking on cigars and going 'heh, heh, heh'. Sammo Hung is the top henchman, and delivers some good fights - an early beatdown of Lazenby is particularly entertaining, but he even makes Lazenby look good in later fights that he loses.
The plot hinges on the distribution of Happy Pills (kuai le wan - which literally means 'happy pills'), better than marijuana and lsd, instantly addicting and makes women want 'lovemaking'. Whenever it is taken, weird electronic noises straight out of 50's sci fi flicks are heard. It's later revealed that it is heroin and an aphrodisiac. Whatev man, it's made in an underground lab in big bubbling greasy woks ala Enter the Dragon.
No swordfights, but some hatchets. No Bollywood numbers but one of the villains of ambiguous ethnicity wears a turban.The sets are campy, underground lairs with a rotating power desk for the supervillain which serves no purpose because the room clearly has only three walls, save of a funny prop for the finale fight. No dogs at all. Nevertheless, a strangely compelling watch.
I had actually seen this many years ago but forgotten how ridiculous it was. I remember it was pretty ridiculous. Perhaps it has gotten more ridiculous with age.
Beyond that, the soundtrack is really funky, a spin on the Frankenstein riff repeated in a disco/honkytonk rendition ad nauseum. The attire is stunning 70s, bell bottoms, platforms, wide collared beige suits and matching pants, wide collared gaudy shirts unbuttoned below the nipples (that's men's nipples) and some sports jackets that are downright eye-frying. For some reason, it reminded me of Scapino. That often happens with boisterous 70s heroes. It's probably unfair to Scapino but hey, it's how I choose to remember him.
Lazenby is horrible - he can't sell a fight scene at all - he delivers huge haymakers and karate chops, and flailing kicks. It's only the flying stuntman who make him look like he's fightin. He can't sell a kiss either - lame snogging with prostitutes and villainesses. How the heck did this guy become a Bond?
Angela Mao is a different story entirely. I was struck by how much a young Lucy Liu looked like her. And she can deliver fine kicks with her signature petulant glare. She and Lazenby reenact the night fight - a classic from Peking Opera where both combatants act like they can't see each other.
The villainess is Betty Ting Pei, the woman who's bed Bruce Lee died in. The other villains are supposed to be Japanese (you can tell by their kimonos). Mostly they are greasy-haired bad-suits sucking on cigars and going 'heh, heh, heh'. Sammo Hung is the top henchman, and delivers some good fights - an early beatdown of Lazenby is particularly entertaining, but he even makes Lazenby look good in later fights that he loses.
The plot hinges on the distribution of Happy Pills (kuai le wan - which literally means 'happy pills'), better than marijuana and lsd, instantly addicting and makes women want 'lovemaking'. Whenever it is taken, weird electronic noises straight out of 50's sci fi flicks are heard. It's later revealed that it is heroin and an aphrodisiac. Whatev man, it's made in an underground lab in big bubbling greasy woks ala Enter the Dragon.
No swordfights, but some hatchets. No Bollywood numbers but one of the villains of ambiguous ethnicity wears a turban.The sets are campy, underground lairs with a rotating power desk for the supervillain which serves no purpose because the room clearly has only three walls, save of a funny prop for the finale fight. No dogs at all. Nevertheless, a strangely compelling watch.
I had actually seen this many years ago but forgotten how ridiculous it was. I remember it was pretty ridiculous. Perhaps it has gotten more ridiculous with age.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse