my father

[Drunk Monk]

We usually go out to lunch on Sunday, my folks, my kid and me (Stacy works Sundays) but because of the car shuffle we couldn't today. Given the hecticness of this weekend, I almost bailed on the visit, but Tara wanted to go and my mom requested some help on a few things, like getting out all the xmas decor boxes, so we went later in the afternoon. That confused my dad. We had to stop him from getting dressed to go out and he seemed rather disappointed. I was hoping we could get him to participate in the xmas decor, but he only watched forlornly - not sure if he understood what was going on - god I hate to disappoint him.

He's developed a weird twitch with his right hand. My mom said it's been going on for a while, but today was the first time I've noticed it. His pointer and index finger extend in these rhythmic twitches.

[Legbone]

On a positive note, my prius is ok. It just got it's 75,000 check. So I think I'm rejoining the ranks of working car owners. I'm hoping...

Well I guess that was not to last. I was thinking, perhaps we could make some sort of statement. Those monks who lit themselves on fire worked. Perhaps we could learn from their lessons.

[Drunk Monk]

So Mrs DM and I were just revelling in our new car bliss and just today, her 2006 Civic wouldn't start. It failed to start yesterday at West Oakland Bart, so I lifted the hood to get the engine some air, and it started. This morning, again, no start. Figures, it just friggin figures...

Anyway I rescheduled my day to take Mrs DM to and from work, which wasn't that hard on a Sunday since all I had slated were errands and my weekly visit to my folks. I was eager to show off the new ride. My dad was very surprised and delighted, saying 'wow' repeatedly and nodding approvingly. Then my mom asked me to help with her Camry, as if I'm some sort of car expert. Some weird light icon is intermittently going off on her dash. It's a bird's eye view of the car, with lines coming out of its butt. I consult the manual to find that it's a warning light to tell you that your rear lights have burnt out - a light to tell you when another light goes out - man, those Toyota engineers think of everything. My mom says that it's been a problem once before, after a rain, and she recently washed the car, so she thinks it's something to do with the car getting wet. I check the rear lights and brake lights - they're fine. I consult the manual further and find a little note written by my dad - meaning it's over three years old - concerning this light being intermittent. Perhaps my mom just noticed it. Perhaps it just came back. I congratulate my dad on the sheer brillinace of leaving such a note and he nods nonchalantly. I tell my mom to ignore the light.

My father has made some progress. He can tell left from right. His responses are more and more appropriate, if you're careful enough to attend them. My mom says that he's following tennis and golf on tv much better, knowing when it's over and such. She even thinks he might have some limited reading comprehension now. On the flip side, he's had a lot of issues with incontinence, so he's bound to adult diapers.

Not sure what'll happen with the Civic. Monday is some sort of apocalypse according to ED (http://brotherhoodofdoom.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=730) along with a dentist appointment for my cub and both Mrs. DM and I are working. It's going to be a chaotic scramble, and I was so looking forward to a semi-normal week.

[Drunk Monk]

This year, I got my dad on of those musical cards. It played the Stones "Time is on my side". My dad's jaw dropped when it started playing music. He had this huge surprised grin on his face. That one got through the aphasia for sure. Sometimes it's like blindfolded archery - I just keep lobbing arrows until one finds its mark.

Stacy made a lovely dinner for Father's day and we invited my folks over. It was very pleasant.

[Drunk Monk]

My mom said he rolled with the fall - it was earlier this week - and he only had a small bump. But he's on a blood thinner, typical for post stroke, and it seems he had a small tear of some sort. He started acting strangely at Skill+, a Sunnyvale-sponsored stroke rehab program that is amazing, so she took him in and they found the problem with a CAT scan. He's staying overnight for observation. I'll touch base with my mom tomorrow.

Last night we looked at apartments in Palo Alto because we're moving to get T into a better school district. We found a nice place, but it's about half the size, which means I have to get rid of/store a half a house of stuff. Also talked to LB, as he had a very traumatic murder at Folsom. Glad I got out for Tai Chi 0 w/CF today.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

Sorry to hear it. Glad you find a little relief at the movies.

You should move back to that complex on Lawrence that had the water and the ducks.

[cranefly]

Wow. Lots of stuff hitting the fan. Sorry to hear about your father's fall. I used to think falls were a trivial matter, but now that I'm older (and with so many older relatives), I'm seeing how dangerous they can be.

Didn't know about your need to move. Does it have to be Palo Alto proper? Lady Cranefly was telling me that maybe we could trade for a while. Not certain how serious she is. I told her my main concern was that you wouldn't properly maintain our front yard. That's a joke, and she punched me. Our neighbors have never said anything, but they're likely ready to kill us for how we let the front yard go.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

How's your dad?

Move to Millbrae; good schools.

[Drunk Monk]

My dad is back home. He spent two nights in the hospital and was released yesterday around 4PM. After 3 CT scans, the bleed has stopped. He was strangely talkative after being hospitalized and strung together some almost complete sentences, so we were encouraged. On Saturday, he didn't eat at first, after being on an IV feed for 24+ hours, which was disconcerting as he's always been a great eater and swallowing is a major issue with stroke victims, but by dinner he was eating fine. He hates hospitals and tried to escape both nights. On Sunday, he was moved back into a shared room and his roommate was the husband of one of my mom's old golfing friends. Strange coincidence, eh? Anyway, I just talked to my mom and my dad is still pretty weak and coping with some incontinence issues, although that's been a constant problem for years. She has to schedule an appointment with a neurologist as he needs to get his meds adjusted, but all seems fine now.

As for the impending move, perhaps I'll start another thread about that.

[Drunk Monk]

My dad was pretty sluggish when we visited on Sunday. Usually, we all go out for lunch, and then I tend to whatever odd chores my mom has for me, and we visit and chat. But Sunday, my dad didn't want to go out, so I got some takeout and brought it home. Since the fall, he's been sleeping mostly. He was having difficulty dressing himself and with incontinence. My mom was concerned with his lethargy and planned to take him in to urgent care on Monday for another opinion. But on Monday, he perked up, dressed himself and was more energetic. So my poor mom, who had cancelled her golf (she hires a caretaker) decided not to go to urgent care and wait for the neurologist today. The neurologist put him back on his blood thinners and said it was a concussion, and he'll be like that for a while as given his condition and age, recovery will be slow. Unfortunately, he had a major episode of incontinence at the neurologist's lobby, which shook up my mom quite a bit as she described it as the worst ever, explosive diarrhea. He was in an adult diaper at the time, but that just failed.

[Drunk Monk]

My dad's condition seems more stable. He's back to his regular routines, watching TV, going to Skill Plus, although he tires quickly and tends to bail out on things, given the choice. It has become burdensome on my mom as she doesn't know whether to buy tickets to events like the holiday dinner at the senior center as he might want to bail at the last minute and my mom hates paying for tickets she can't use, even if they are really cheap. The Doc said he might be suffering from headaches, which is common for post-concusssion, only there's no way for my dad to say if such is the case. My mom tries to ask, but he generally responds by saying 'yup' to almost anything. Not that we could do much anyway as he's on blood thinners, so he can't take aspirin.

When I saw him yesterday and asked how he felt, he said 'much better', which was all I got out of him all day, but at least it was something.

[Drunk Monk]

My mom said he often gets up to go the bathroom late at night, and he somehow managed to fall into the shower and got stuck there in the dark. She thinks he was there for a few hours as he got some heavy bruising from trying to get up and out. I spoke to her just now and yesterday - she's a little shaken. He's been to the doc and they say it's just bruising, nothing broken or serious, but as he's on a blood thinner and he's old, it'll take time to heal. I'll be there all day Sunday with Tara to see how things are. His birthday is this week.

That being said, I'm going to spare you my RotRtale for today as I'm distracted with work and mundane life today.

[Drunk Monk]

I helped my mom with dressing my dad's wound. It's a bruise that starts at his knee and goes all the way up his right side to his armpit, as wide as his body. His right arm also has a major bruise from wrist to shoulder. The wound is open on his hip and elbow, where he must have been rubbing it for hours trying to get out of the shower. My mom said there was little blood, but he's on coumadin, a blood thinner, which affects how he bruises. This also slows his healing process. He was in pretty bad shape, wincing a lot and moving very slowly. He also didn't finish his lunch, which he always did in the past. He's always been a really good eater fortunately. He also had another incontinence episode when we went to the movies but it was manageable as he's in a diaper.

[Drunk Monk]

On Sunday, my dad's belly was a little distended. Yesterday, it got worse so my mom took him in. He wasn't peeing, so they catheter-ed him and there was a lot of urine. He has an enlarged prostate, like so many men of his generation. Now he has a catheter and my mom will take him in again today to see if he can pee on his own. If so, they will remove the cath. If not, well, we don't know what'll happen.

He is no longer climbing the stairs or watching TV. My mom is having difficulty keeping his wounds clean as the downstairs shower is miniscule. I'm going to go by tomorrow to help out.

This is a rough week here. T just got her brace last Thursday and is starting with the volleyball program with her new school. We have one of her best friends staying with us this week too. Her parents are getting a divorce. Her mom is serving her dad the divorce papers and trying to get him out of the house this week, so we have taken her in to shelter her from the drama. They live in a tiny house in La Honda, pretty rural and far from anything. Her dad has no job and few prospects. He lived itinerant for a while. Her mom has been carrying the family as long as we've known them - she just got laid off but is starting a new job now that is very promising. T's friend is putting on a brave face - both girls are - but there's an underlying strain.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

It chills my heart when I see you've posted in this section, because I fear for the worst. I'm glad to see your father continues to march on. It is fortunate your father has such excellent people around him during this tough times.

If you need to vent further, you've got my number and my Skype number if you need to see my pretty face.

(Why does T have a brace?)