Iron Fist

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

I really liked The Defenders and Heroes for Hire. This treatment of Iron Fist had me shaking my head at how stupid and immature Danny Rand was.

[Greg]

Now, I'm watching the stupidity in glorious 4k! God, this show is dumb. I'm constantly on the edge of my seat wondering how could they possibly be this dumb?

Yeah, why couldn't this great warrior who'd spent 15 years training beat those orderlies? Hey, if you've finally managed to convince your psychiatrist that you aren't crazy, maybe don't tell him you spent the last 15 years in another dimension? Just a thought. And speaking from my construction background, could you make the hole in the hospital that Danny makes look a little more realistic rather than if someone just a took  a sawzall to the wall.

In the three hours of Iron Fist there was approximately 2 seconds of coolness. That was the handprint on the window.

And what's up with Colleen Wing? Don't fight for money! Okay, I'll fight for money. I'm going to beat up my students to teach them a lesson! Don't beat up my students to teach them a lesson! And she is not very convincing as a martial artist. Although no one is.

Shouldn't Danny be calmer? The third episode is all about him being angry and yelling at people. I want my company! You would think all his training would get him to be calmer.

And the villains are so cartoony. (Yes, it's a cartoon but D'Nofrio seemed to be able to pull it off)

So, far there is nothing to like about this series. Yes, I will continue to watch to see if they can keep up the streak.

[Drunk Monk]

You guys are masochists with this show.  I applaud that.  Or more appropo, I'll spank you some more?  

I'm still ruminating on the barefoot shoe informercial - maybe when the new Tiger Claw shoes launch...

[Greg]

I did find it amusing that when Colleen does give him shoes and he does wear them, they are split toed boots.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Considering the writing and acting in the previous outings, this is a stink-a-roo. Yes, Danny should be hecka calm. He was in the freakin' comic books! The brother/sister pair get better with time. The dad is cartoonish, to be sure, but the son actually gets better. He is far and away the best thing about this shit-pile by the end.

[Greg]

Episodes 4 and 5: The Dumbness continues.

I'm thinking the went through the cliche handbook for writers for these plots. Ooh, it's all about stopping the synthetic heroin. Who knew my conglomerate participated in evil! And could we do stuff, rather than just sitting  around talking about stuff? That old 'show not tell' bugaboo you get in scriptwriting 101

And the dumbness. You would think Danny would know how a meeting works. He's not some coyote cub they rescued from the Jungle. He does mention he knows how celebrity works at one point.

And stop wearing the white sneakers with the suit. What is it about the feet that you can't worry about the shoes.

And there was the axe gang attack. The axe gang! Sorry, hatchets. They even did the slo-mo axe flying within inches of the face shot. But at least there was a little bit of action.

Finally, we start the romance between Colleen and Danny. Oh, god is this terrible. They have the chemistry a rock would have with a guppy. They almost said with great power comes great responsibility, except it had to do with money. Hey, if something bad is happening at a wharf you own why not just show up with your security guards and a large crew rather than sneaking up on it with you and your new GF? Yes, Danny gave some lame excuse why they couldn't, but the key word in there was lame.

I don't know if I can watch anymore.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

C'mon, G-Man! You can do it! Hang in there! It gets dumber!

Seriously, this is from the same people who did Jessica Jason Scott Rickie Lee Jones? That was a really great modern noir.

[Greg]

I took one for DM. You will be surprised to learn that the RZA episode is also dumb. DUMB.

It's getting marginally better in terms of plot. There isn't all this whining about getting the company back. But now that he has it, he doesn't want it. Ugg. The love story between Colleen and Danny still seems stupid. 

The worst part of this was the challenge duel. How about learning the rules of the duel before engaging in the duel? And why does he have to defeat three groups instead of just one? That doesn't sound like much of a duel. And the middle duel was all honked up and made no sense. Was it a seduction? How would Danny lose? How would Danny win?

And Danny only seems to have one move where he warms up. He does the bowl and then does the windmill and then he sits. And this whole guy talking to him worked for a bit but it just got annoying during the fights.

It's like the writer's got Roget's Big Book of Martial Art Movie Cliches and are just going down the list.

[Drunk Monk]

[Greg]

He could probably do a better job.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Yeah, I'm sold -- get that dude a TV show.

[Greg]

Boy, this episode of Iron Fist was the best ever.

Or not. This whole heroin arc is really banal. How many times do we have to see the hero take down the drug king pin? 

And boy that romance between Danny and Connie is hot.

Or not.

Although there were two sort of surprises that helped passed the time in this must have been ten hour long episode.

The fights are still bad, but at least we are filming them now with even less lighting.

[Greg]

I went to dinner last night with the accountant for the actor who plays Danny Rand.

I'll just leave that there for a minute.

[Drunk Monk]

Minute's up.

Do tell...

[Greg]

One of the Queen's friends from Chicago was in town. He's an accountant with a lot of Hollywood clients. For instance Morena Baccarin is one of his clients. But there are plenty more.

Well, the conversation turned to the Marvel Netflix Universe. He said he hadn't watched the new Iron Fist. I told him to skip it. He said he couldn't because one of his clients was in it. Well that piqued my interest, so I asked which one. Danny Rand.

Oh, boy. Not to insult him any further. I told him it was a great show. That everybody loved. 

Okay, I might have been sarcastic. He really doesn't want to speak out of turn about his clients but he did offer up the tidbit that Danny Rand did want more training for the fight scenes but Netflix said no. Sometime he's only given a couple of hours to learn the fights. He's also unsure if there will be more Iron Fist in the future. Netflix is waiting to see how The Defenders is going to do before they make a decision.

That's all I got.