Japan

[Drunk Monk]

My ass has never been as clean as it was in Japan. 

Everything they say about Japanese toilets is true. They have multi-angle bidet features where you can adjust angle and pressure, plus there’s a warm air dryer for afterwards. Some toilets play music or make water sounds to cover up any loud farts. Some open automatically to greet you. Some even light up in case you can’t find them (?) They can have so many buttons that one time I couldn’t find the main flush one. 

The public toilets are sparklingly clean. I kept thinking that when Japanese visit anywhere else in the world, they must be appalled. Our ‘clean’ bathrooms must be like a portapotty on day three of a festival. 

On top of that, the showers are all amazing. Strong water pressure, hot almost instantly, usually with a shower head that detaches, also with a tiny stool and a bucket. With the heat, a shower everyday was needed to cut through the daily layers of sweat film. Every shower was luxurious.

And then there’s the onsens. Mass public bathing in waist level showers (those stools and buckets come into play) then soaking in curative waters. 

The Japanese understand cleanliness.