Yosemite 2015

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The clock I use to determine what time to go out to walk the dogs was the one that didn’t automatically reset for the time change Pacific Standard Time. I didn’t realize that I was up at 3am instead of 4am until the Queen stumbled into the kitchen bleary eyed and pointed at the microwave which revealed the truth.

Well, I was up and dressed. I had my shoes on and the dogs were ready, so I out I went. The Queen and I were both itching to go to Yosemite, so let’s go.

We rocketed up the 99 towards Merced. It was rare when my speed was under 75mph. Since driving in the car on vacation means diet break, my seams bulged as I shoveled junk food into my mouth. The KROQ podcast played from cel phone.

Our first and only stop was in Oakhurst, on the 41 climbing into the mountains. We would have gotten to the park gate faster but a slow black pick-up truck who didn’t know about courtesy and turn-outs lanes plodded along in front of us the final 40 miles.

Before you knew it, we were cruising passed Wawona to the Glacier Point road. For some reason, the park didn’t smell like we had just exploded a pine scented air-freshener in the car. We managed to soldier on.

It always amazes me how quickly we get to the Park. We had left the house at 4:30 and there we were, a little before 10, pulling into the Glacier Point Parking Lot. It’s closer than my parents house and yet, I go to my parents more than I go to Yosemite.



Crowds of visitors were wandering around the point looking at the Panoramas around us. Yes, I hated all of them. They chattered loudly. They got in the way of my photographs. I responded by getting in the way of their photographs.



I’m seriously considering writing a book called “How not to get punched while taking photographs.” Rule 1 would be don’t stand on opposite sides of the trail and make everyone stop while you try and figure out to frame your fucking shot which is going to be lousy anyway. Did I mention I hate people?

But then there was Yosemite to level out my anger. The sky was crystal blue, temperature in the 70s. You could see every thing out to the Clark range. Even though only a trickle of water came over the Yosemite Falls, it was great to see. Water flowed more freely through the Nevada and Vernal Falls, destinations for our hike later in the week. Snap. Snap. Snap.

Oddly enough, I wanted a picture of me from Glacier Point. I wanted a picture where thousands of people had taken there pictures before, including John Muir and Ansel Adams. Outside of the enclosed area, passed the “Danger, Don’t Pass” sign is a rock platform that protrudes over the cliff edge. There is nothing between you and the valley floor 2000 feet below but air.

I had eschewed ever going out there, being a big believer in warning signs and the effects of gravity on the human body, until I saw the picture from the early 1900’s of the girl in her dress standing on the same rock. Naturally, the hind brain decided to take the picture on the trip.



Yes, I got the are you crazy or stupid look from the Queen. But, she did agree to participate in the lunacy. It was a win-win in her case. Either she got a great picture or she got a lot of insurance money.

So, I hopped off the pretty stone wall, made my way passed the warning sign, and then I waited until the group on the boulder finished taking their selfies. I wasn’t completely stupid. I didn’t go all the way out to the point. I merely climbed onto the boulder that led to the point.

While I waited, I got to hear a very pleasant man jeer at me about being a candidate for the Darwin Awards. If I was in his frame of mind, I would probably yell the same thing. But he kept yelling it like I didn’t hear him from only fifteen away. I eventually responded, since I had plenty of time out there while the Queen fiddled with her new camera. It was something along the lines of acknowledging his humor but isn’t it time to move on?

I descended off the rock without mishap and gave over my spot to the next group of law breakers and Darwin Award nominees. I asked them politely not to fall.

The only problem with this story is that there is no proof. The Queen fought with her cameras controls and lost. All the shots of me, feet from plummeting to my death, were blurry. It’s one thing to do something stupid, it’s another not to have proof. Curses, I say!



Glacier Point wasn’t our only destination for the day. I thought we should take a quick hike up to Sentinel Dome. It was only a mile from the road.



Probably one of the The Queen’s least favorite bits about going to Yosemite with me is listening to me and my dumb stories. She has probably heard them millions of times. And since I’ve been to so many spots, I probably have a story about all of them. She would sincerely like to go to some place we are both visiting for the first time.

My story for Sentinel Dome was that I had hiked it with Scapino and his then girlfriend. Scapino managed to talk her into taking some topless photos atop the dome. This only became a problem a short time later when they broke up. She wanted the negatives, which he gave her. But he might have kept some of the prints. I’m pretty sure where ever he got the photos developed, has some prints, too.



So, we climb to Sentinel Dome. The whole path there I’m thinking how do we get up there? The sides from the trail are hellishly steep. Steep as in you are going to need ropes. Maybe the trail just gets really close up?

It’s peaceful and quiet on the trail. The trees give way to granite slopes. I’m enjoying the serenity of being in the mountains hiking. The path is so much better far from the Glacier Point crowds. Until some moron calls out “Cousin’ to someone behind me on the trail. The only person I see back there is the Queen and it looks like the moron mistook her for someone else.

Then the women turns to me and says “Hey, Greg” and keeps on going down the trail towards her cousin. What the hell? Turns out, it’s the Queen’s cousin. The Queen had been seeing her on Facebook and remarked that she was in the park. But what are the odds of bumping into someone you know miles from the well trodden paths of Yosemite?

The cousins chatted. Pictures were taken for proof. Then we parted ways.

The trail continued around the dome and suddenly before us was this gently sloping side of Sentinel Dome. It was an easy jaunt to the top. I thrilled the Queen with a story about the Joshua Tree that used to grow out of the top of the Dome.



The beauty of Sentinel Dome was the quiet. Far fewer people made for much less noise. The views were stunning. We could see Half Dome to one side and El Capitan to the other. We did the photo swap duties with a young girl. At this point, I had not descended into Selfie Madness, which would occur later on the trail to Mirror Lake.

I now want to do that hike every time I go to Yosemite.

Second only to the views from Sentinel Dome were all the lovely yellow signs warning us about the increase of plague in the park. Basically, don’t pet the squirrels.

For accommodations, we were going to spend the first two nights in the Awahnee and the final three nights at the Yosemite Lodge. We’re frugal that way. The Awahnee was beautiful as always. It just has a great feel as you walk under the lanterns down the covered hall into the lobby. The double red doors that were the inspiration for the Shining always feel a little creepy.
And I hoped that soon there would be a roaring fire in the the walk in fireplace. Granted, it was no tent under the stars in the middle of a puddle, we decided to make do.



You know what happens after you drive a long way and then have a long hike and you decide to lie down for a minute? Yep. Two hours later we woke up with thoughts of dinner.

Deborah Bjonerud and her mate were also visiting the park at this time. I think our plans spurred on their plans. I gave them a call to find out where they were and what they were doing. Turns out, they were downstairs in the bar of the hotel. We freshened up and joined them.

We sat outside in the rapidly cooling night sharing drinks and stories of our day. Rather than braving the uppity gargoyle guarding the door to the main dining room, we opted for bar food.

Ah, a pleasant first day.