03-15-2006, 10:00 PM
It's still all ahead for me, but it's certainly something I've been thinking about. My mom is 79, my dad 78. They can still both drive, although they no longer like driving at night. My brothers both live in the same county - Santa Cruz - one very close, one less so.
It's been particularly on my mind this week, as I went to a memorial service for a cousin of my dad's. She was older and certainly had a lot more health problems. My mom and dad were there, but I was the only one of the bros who could make it. It was in Vallejo. A small affair, with about 16 of us there. A bit of extended family, a few of her elderly friends. She had outlived her husband and both of her sons, who'd both suffered from Muscular Dystrophy. I hadn't seen her for years, but my recollection was that their house was always a happy house. Of the two boys, I only got to know one fairly well. He lived to be about 35 or so, which is pretty old for MD. His older brother passed away in his 20s. My cousin Bill - he was about 6 years my senior - was an audiophile. Bound to his wheelchair, he could hear more in a recording than I could ever hope to. He took some music theory classes at a local college, and was the first person I knew who had an equalizer. He's still one of only a few people I've ever met who can use an equalizer and hear a difference in the output. I can't; never could. The last time I saw him, he lent me "Derek and the Dominos". Vinyl. I always felt guilty that I never got it back to him. Now, I'm just glad to have it. His whole family is up on a hill in a nondescript, weedy cemetery in Vallejo. For my memory and experience, that branch of the family now starts and stops right there. I'm glad I know where they are. How many will remember them in 20 years?
My dad went into the hospital a few months ago for some heart stuff. It should have been easy, but the proceedure got fouled up so instead of being overnight, he was in for 4 days. Dicey, but turned out fine.
Of course, the hardest part is that, since I live oh-so-far-away from Santa Cruz, I seldom hear about current events until after the fact. "Oh, did we tell you your dad was in the hospital?" That sort of thing.
All in all though, they're doing great and I feel very fortunate. When the time comes, I fear I'll be that much less prepared.
It's been particularly on my mind this week, as I went to a memorial service for a cousin of my dad's. She was older and certainly had a lot more health problems. My mom and dad were there, but I was the only one of the bros who could make it. It was in Vallejo. A small affair, with about 16 of us there. A bit of extended family, a few of her elderly friends. She had outlived her husband and both of her sons, who'd both suffered from Muscular Dystrophy. I hadn't seen her for years, but my recollection was that their house was always a happy house. Of the two boys, I only got to know one fairly well. He lived to be about 35 or so, which is pretty old for MD. His older brother passed away in his 20s. My cousin Bill - he was about 6 years my senior - was an audiophile. Bound to his wheelchair, he could hear more in a recording than I could ever hope to. He took some music theory classes at a local college, and was the first person I knew who had an equalizer. He's still one of only a few people I've ever met who can use an equalizer and hear a difference in the output. I can't; never could. The last time I saw him, he lent me "Derek and the Dominos". Vinyl. I always felt guilty that I never got it back to him. Now, I'm just glad to have it. His whole family is up on a hill in a nondescript, weedy cemetery in Vallejo. For my memory and experience, that branch of the family now starts and stops right there. I'm glad I know where they are. How many will remember them in 20 years?
My dad went into the hospital a few months ago for some heart stuff. It should have been easy, but the proceedure got fouled up so instead of being overnight, he was in for 4 days. Dicey, but turned out fine.
Of course, the hardest part is that, since I live oh-so-far-away from Santa Cruz, I seldom hear about current events until after the fact. "Oh, did we tell you your dad was in the hospital?" That sort of thing.
All in all though, they're doing great and I feel very fortunate. When the time comes, I fear I'll be that much less prepared.