Furthur

[Drunk Monk]

This is where things get really blurry and out of sequence. The Furthur set finished at 1AM and Galactic took over in the dancehall but dm never made it out that far. At the end of Furthur, there was a nekkid dude doing the jiggledickhop at front of stage. When he saw RM coming, he said 'awww, i guess i gotta put my pants on now.' 'yeah.' 'i was just saying how great it was to be at a dead show where you could be nekkid.' 'well, you've been nekkid, time to put your pants on.' His friends were nearby, laughing their asses off. If only they were all that easy. It rained IPRs. Dm totally lost track of how many - 45 intakes and 5 rolls was the official count. There was a hilarious pairing of a 'i love my mom' next to 'i'll fuk yer mom, motherfuker!' There was a dude that tried to tear off his dick chanted in binary '1, 0, dick, kill.' dm helped bring him back from the badlands of the camping zone on the back of a flatbed cart. the patient was kept restrained as the rm crew tried to keep them from falling off the flatbed as the vehicle navigated the mess of camping where there were no straight lines. a firelane was even blocked forcing an absurd turnaround and backtrack, not fun with a screaming combative IPR. Then there was the cutter. Dm was with two of his crew getting an IPR back to his camp who was upset because he was upsetting everyone else. There was a call that an IPR slashed his own throat. DM & crew arrived on scene last, as the IPR was being restrained on the gurney. The IPR cut his throat and tried to dig out his trachea with his hands. He kept trying to break free and re-open his wounds. There was blood and broken glass everywhere. Dm found a girl, his g/f, with matted hair covered in blood, looking like she walked off a scene from Carrie. "what happened?" queried Dm. "oh nothing," she replied. Dirty Hoel (dm's pardner in crime) put it well describing the scene as 'ruthless'. Meanwhile, as all these IPRs kept the psych krew hopping, dm's hands started to feel swollen and stingy. Dm wondered if he had fallen in some nettles, but slowly realized the same affliction was bothering his mouth and feet. He didn't remember eating any nettles and had kept his feet covered and clean all weekend, as it was chilly. After an exam by the RM PA & RNs, dm was diagnosed with cocksasacky (intentional sp) virus, or hand, foot and mouth disease, not to be confused with hoof and mouth disease. It's a virus, common in elementary schools, that takes 3-5 days to gestate (meaning dm caught it prior to Furthur) and it manifests in these painful stinging lesions that cover the feet, hands and mouth. Good thing dm didn't drop that night-vision mushroom cap. Cocksasacky was a bad trip. That would have made it hella worse. Dm went down about 3AM or so, with intense stinging pain in the 3 afflicted areas. It was very surreal.