Movies that were so godawful, even I couldn't get through it

[Greg]

I tried to watch the Kate Beckinsale movie Black Canary on Amazon Prime. Hard nope. Why do they think the blond wig is a cool disguise at this point? I think this one sat on the shelf for a long time because Ray Stevens who passed in May of 2023 is the male lead.

There is all kinds of stupid in this.

[Greg]

Family Pack (2024) French family gets transported back in time to fight werewolves in a French medieval town. Think Jumanji but not as good. Kevin Hart would have been an upgrade for this

I was on a roll last night. Couldn't make it through this either. I was about ten minutes into them being in the medieval village when I went to bed. I feel bad that Jean Reno is reduced to being in these pictures.

[Drunk Monk]

Dear Santa

A dyslexic kid writes to Santa but sends it to Satan. Satan is played by Jack Black. I got up to when Satan makes one of the kid’s teachers shit himself and bailed. And that wasn’t very far in.

Bailed on Amazon prime.

[Greg]

Thanks for the heads up. This was on my curiosity list. Now it is not.

[Drunk Monk]

Thanks for the heads up. This was on my curiosity list. Now it is not.

Fair trade for Black Canary & Family Pack.

In fact, I still owe you one…

[King Bob]

Jack Black has gotten into that Adam Sandler territory, where you should just skip it.

[Drunk Monk]

He's good in the Die Antwoord doc - http://www.brotherhoodofdoom.com/doomFor...0#pid75750

But he was just playing himself. 

Yeah, I'm inclined to agree (and I never liked Sandler).

[Drunk Monk]

Krazy House (2024)

Modeled like an 80s sitcom, Nick Frost plays Bernie Christian, an over the top Christian schlub. His wife is a workaholic Alicia Silverstone and they have a daughter discovering her sexuality and a chemist son discovering drugs. Enter three Russian mobsters, a father and two sons, under the guise of workmen but really set on destroying their sitcom home in search of a hidden cash cache. Nick has flashes of murderous thoughts and visions of Jesus.

I kept hoping this a might go somewhere but it’s just goofy sitcom satire spattered with bloody violence and nonsense. Maybe it did get somewhere eventually. It felt as if it was working towards a vicious jab at Christians but I bailed when they blew the dog’s head off with a shotgun. 

So disappointing because I like both Nick & Alicia. 

Seen on Hoopla.

[Drunk Monk]

The Monkey King (2023)

Jimmy O Yang voices the Monkey King and I like Jimmy. Bowen Yang is the Dragon King and I’ve had enough of him already. Stephanie Hsu, Hoon Lee, Jo Koy and other leading Asians have roles. But oh man, what a painful watch. The thing is that there’s so many good Monkey King adaptations, and this one flagrantly defies canon for no good reason at all. It’s just a mess of a film, with Monkey talking to his staff like knight rider and his car, and the staff does all the heavy lifting. This is just a horrid retelling with hackneyed cgi animation. 

I didn’t even make it halfway through.

Seen on Netflix