Statement of Intent
I will be posting some of my stories here, either in finished form or what I consider to be a readable draft. All comments, suggestions, discussion and criticisms are of course welcome. Also let me know if you would prefer a different format or feel there is a better way to organize what I’m doing.
Quote:“Hello,” came a voice. “I don’t believe we’ve met.”
He turned to the speaker. It was Baldie. She leaned easily against the wall, totally relaxed and engaging, eyes sparkling. With her youthful face and hourglass figure she wasn’t much to look at, but he could well imagine her in another 20 or 30 years after her perky breasts and taut tummy and firm thighs had more fully collaborated with gravity. If only he could travel forward in time to see her in full bloom...
Dedication: I am dedicating this one to DM, because I wrote the bulk of the story on his last birthday without knowing it, and the story centers around a birthday. There is also a certain hallucinogenic aspect to the tale that resonates closely with DM’s nature (or what I perceive to be DM's nature), making me wonder if all these correlations go beyond mere coincidence, and that there is some deeper mechanism is at work, perhaps in the context of a universal consciousness.
“Nude Ascending a Staircase” (6,500 words), completed 9/2012
https://www.dropbox.com/s/80ly4n4w6g339q...ircase.pdf
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The story had a great sense of atmosphere and tone. I love Cranefly's use of language but at time's it is a little overpowering.
I was surprised by the abruptness of the ending. I wanted more from the story. I guess i can extrapolate how it will play out but it seems like there should have been more.
All and all, it was a nice way to start the day reading your story.
So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit
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dm was more than slightly disturbed by this. was it some thinly-disguised allegory of cf's view of dm? the baldness? the birthday? the hallucinogenic tone? the cheese?! every time dm tried to process this, visions of dark cf fetishes flooded into the shadowy nooks of dm's ever frayed brain.
dm will probably have nightmares about this. thanks cf. thanks a lot.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
Quote:It’s odd to be working on something that you know next to nothing about. We know that the input to the line is called “rudiment,” and that it will ride a series of conveyors, passing through a succession of transformative tools. As for what the rudiment is, we know only that it is bigger than a breadbox and smaller than a fridge (the specifics are hidden within a harlequin field). As for the number of tools in the line, we have only rumor to go on, which puts it in the hundreds.
Dedication: I am dedicating this one to Carol, who most of you probably don't know. She is the one who dragged me aboard the Project, or rather, the project that inspired this tale. She is not in this story, nor anyone else we might know, except possibly DM (just to screw further with his head).
“Contraption” (10,250 words), completed 9/2012
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/m741hpeh6xp0xg7/Contraption.pdf">https://www.dropbox.com/s/m741hpeh6xp0x ... aption.pdf</a><!-- m -->
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now if dm reads it, he'll be distracted by searching for underlying festishitic insinuations. but if he doesn't, he'll always wonder. just to be fair, is there any cheese in it?
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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"which there is no escaped". Should be 'escape' bottom of page 4
(tQ is now giggling on the floor from the irony)
mesh-inked or mesh-linked ? page 6-7
So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit
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Still might be about DM. But in the end, all stories are about DM.
Stylistically, it was quite different than Nude but still had the Cranefly word barrage which has a mesmerizing quality. It took me a bit to come to grips with the verbiage. I did enjoy the world I was immersed in, the world of the project. And much like the workers on the project, I kept wondering what the hell was going on. At the end, I still had that question, but maybe the answer is buried in the story. I did enjoy the love story and liked the way that came together.
Like Nude, Contraption sets a very good tone but ultimately I again wanted more completion to the story. Although, I felt I got more out of Contraption than I did out of Nude.
So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit
Thanks for the typo catch and comments on the story. Yes, it's supposed to be mesh-inked -- like a tattoo. But Lady Cranefly stumbled over that too, so I need to reword or change it because stumbling can be very bad for your health.
Endings are hard to do. Very few stories satisfy me with their endings. That's not an excuse. I want to write brilliant and satisfying endings, but (go to beginning of this paragraph).
I'll give some more thought to the resolutions to both stories...
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And no, Dm is not Ganz. Nice tone, CF. I liked the whole feel of cubicle life. Felt just like I imagined it might feel. Also, knowing Carol, there was this outstanding mental image that cluttered an unbiased reading of this.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
Quote:The airships ranged in size from single-person scampies to long dragonships carrying over a hundred passengers. Most were modeled on animals, such that he saw steam issuing from water buffalo horns, serpent tails, elephant ears, and alligator snouts. While all were rigged with helium-filled bags, these were absurdly undersized and intended only for stability, while the true buoyancy derived from exometal cores in the carriages, which could be turned to a weightless or even anti-mass orientation.
Dedication: I’m dedicating this one to Greg. The initial draft was written during his conquest of China, and his travails with camera equipment were an inspiration. I’ll also make a minor dedication to the pirate contingency on Doom, though I’ve never been entirely sure where the ninja/pirate line falls (I presume you know who you are). As for DM, let me think. Nope, can’t recall putting one iota of his esteemed personage in this one, so he can rest easy.
“Last Crane to Yangzhou” (5,750 words), first draft 1/2012, completed 10/2012
https://www.dropbox.com/s/0yz3z0wdlnh8f6...ngzhou.pdf
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Last Crane
Of course, the Chinese Steampunk story. My favorite image was the octopus on top of the pagoda eating the patrons as they fled. Again, nice sense of atmosphere. I really like the tone of Cranefly stories. I liked the characterization of everyone in the flying crane.There was a very vivid sense of place, even if the place was strikingly odd. The story did have an arc which I appreciated. I would like to see more of this world and the people in it.
I do not have a prosthetic. Although I probably walk like I do.
One point of confusion for me was whether our hero was completely mechanical. I came to this conclusion because he turned the wind-up key in his chest . . .
Should it be 'baubles' rather than 'bauble' on page 5?
So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit
Dang. You're right about the windup key. My intent was that it fitted into his clothing and controlled the gears in the clothing. But I didn't adequately make that clear, so it's too easy to interpret it as him being a mechanical man. I sent the story out to a market yesterday. When it bounces back with a rejection, I'll fix this.
As for bauble or baubles, I'm thinking either could be used. Here's a parallel construct (I think):
The Ark contained all manner of animal.
The Ark contained all manner of animals.
Not to go all Biblical on you....
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Chen Xinghua is my Chinese name. 陳興華. I use it as a pen name.
For the record, given names are only used by intimate relations. Only surnames are used formally. So only family and really close friends might use Xinghua. Most of the occurrences in your story should be changed to Chen. When introducing yourself, you'd usually only give your surname and a title, as in Chen Shifu. Sometimes you might give your given name, but that would be fairly rare. This is why most people in China actually go by nicknames. There aren't that many surnames and if that's all that you're going to use, you'll get everyone to look when you call 'Chen'. Seriously, its a very common Chinese surname, like Smith is here.
Peggy O was Jenn Bailey's radio pseudonym, the title of a Dead song that was based on an old folk tune. I twisted it to Oh for another pen name because their are a lot of Oh's around here.
[youtube]AX9Vhv4akxc[/youtube]
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
Thanks, DM. I suspected I wasn't getting the name usage right. I did do some research on it, but not enough. I read that you often address a woman you don't know as Auntie. Not certain if that still holds in contemporary Chinese society. BTW, if you want, I'll change the names away from your pens. But if you let me use them, I'll give you a tomato.
--cranefly
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