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Maria (2019)
#1


Warning - the trailer above is packed with spoilers. 

This is a Filipino ninjette flick set in modern gangster land. 

Actually, it's Santa Cruz. Srsly. Santa Cruz, Laguna, the Philippines. 

You know when there's a warm loving family scenes juxtaposed with vicious torture (SPOILER fingernail tearing, anal penetration with an electric prod END SPOILER), things will not go well. At the half hour mark, Maria, the mild mannered wife and mom, is revealed to be a top ninjette of the Black Rose, and she's got some karmic debt to pay with the gangsters (led by a godfather who could almost pass for Italian even though he's clearly Filipino). 

It's got a hackneyed fight film style. Dimly lit scenes of green, orange or blue light, splashed with red blood and set to chunky guitar riffs. Digital bullet ricochets that flash like sparklers dipped in kerosene. Some decent swirling camera work and pans. 

It's the star that carries it. Cristine Reyes moves easily from natural beauty mom to smoking hot ninjette diva. She can move (a dancer) and sells a punch okay. She can also act, which is strangely refreshing because most of the villains, especially her main adversary Kaleb, cannot. Reyes is wicked fast with a karambit. 

The action is decent. The ninjettes (there are a few) take down larger men convincingly enough. Lots of fire fights and bar fights. A weirdly lit bathroom cat fight in a black and a white disco gown with stiletto heels. The finale ninjette dule was disappointing. All the gals have sexy halter tops and bare shoulders, while the guys are in paramilitary gear. 

I was entertained. I have a soft spot for the ninjette genre and I liked Reyes. Plus I haven't seen that many Phillipino films so that was an interesting backdrop when it wasn't stereotypic warehouses and junkyards. 

No sword fights. Karambit. Not outstanding enough for a DOOM rec, but I think the Yeti might enjoy this too.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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#2
Hmmm...I’ve been looking that one over for a while. I’ll put it on my “popcorn” list.
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
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#3
It’s been on my queue for a while too. Finally got around to it. Glad I did. No popcorn tho. Garlic seeded crackers & nite cheese - a smoked Gouda spread that came in a gift box. Popcorn would’ve been better for this tho.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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#4
Nite Cheese goes with everything.
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
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