Tomb Raider : Legend - PC Game

[El Dingo]

Ah Laura Croft! She of the mighty sinews, loins like pneumatic pistons and ligaments of steel! Leaping vast distances to precarious 2-inch handholds and thne safely dropping four-stories suffering nought buut a nudge from your health bar! How do I sing thy praises?

Yep - everyone's favorite virtual female is back for more adventures. This time her exploits take her froom Bolivia to Japan via England and Africa. Her quest follows the myth of King Arthur and the sword Excalibur (really an ancient alien artifact of great power).

I've played the firsst 3 installments and found them to be of varying degrees of qualiity, but overall very enjoyable. This one was no different. The controls are fairly simple, run, jump,swing,shoot,repeat. A coouple of motorcycle chases break up the leap-fest, but this game is definately for those who enjoy Indiana Jones style exploration and puzzle solving.

Finding bonus items unlocks 'rewards' like...being able to view the cinematics again. yay.

The cut scenes are plentiful, but so are checkpoints and health packs.

I would give this game a solid 4 out of 5 except for one thing. The camera sucks arse. I haven't seen such bad camera behavior since, well, "Tomb Raider 3". Often Laura will be clinging to a wall and you cannot pan around her to look for the next handhold. As much fun as the rag-doll physics are when she falls screaming to her death, you do eventually want to jump safely.

I will recommend Tomb raider for those that enjoy slower-paced solo gaming. The environmental graphics are nice even if the character animations are a little dated. The boss battles can be tough though, so don't b expecting a total cakewalk.

And please, NO MORE MOVIES!

[Drunk Monk]

After Time Raiders and an offhand chat about the Chinese love of tomb raiding tales, I thought of an ezine article on the subject and decided to Netflix this. I had only seen the 1st one & never played the game after Ed humiliated me at the consoles so horridly in our youths so often that I despise videogames (actually it was too much Skinner in college). Anyway, TR:CoL is still dumb, dumb as a late Roger Moore Bond flick. Angelina is bodacious in the role. Simon Yam is

[Drunk Monk]

Simon Yam is one of my fav HK actors, and his part here was quite negligible yet enjoyable. Butler was amusing as a Croft-guy, whose fate was better than most Bond-girls (snogging Moore in the sunset just ain't as cool). The rattan burnt bo vs kendo bogu was dumb.  Vikander takes over the role next year. Not sure if she's up to that task.

[Drunk Monk]

So I rewatched Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and it wasn't nearly as bad as I remembered. But then I only remembered a little. I forgot Daniel Craig was in it - odd given how derivative Lara is of Bond - she's like the female Bond with Indy roots. I also forgot her dad was in it playing her dad. And I forgot how big the film was in terms of sets, locations and extras. It's still dumb but Angie is great in the role, can't not leer at her youthful bodaciousness. Those lips, those guns.

[Drunk Monk]

The reboot is a solid role for my good buddy Daniel Wu and a total scene steal for Nick Frost. Alicia is decent as Lara because she has a beautiful face and can act well enough to sell the cgi precariousness, plus she’s been working out. Could’ve been funnier and could’ve used a villain with more dimensions than one. But I’m a sucker for father/daughter tales. I’m conflicted about the absence of a kiss - a non-Asian male lead would’ve gone there but it would’ve detracted from the story if it had. A bit heavy in the origins tale schtick at the end. As much as I like Alicia, if Daniel isn’t in the sequel, I’m out.

[cranefly]

Pretty much in agreement with DM.

There were some long sequences with one cliff-hanger situation after another that, surprisingly, got monotonous, or unbelievable, and I thought they were way overdone.  But in hindsight, this is clearly a bone tossed to the gamers, or that must be how the director or screenwriter perceived it.  I still question how much a game-to-movie vehicle should cater to its origins, but now at least I understand the intent.

Alicia seems a very young Laura Croft.  Then again, what do I know?  I haven't played the game or seen the previous movies.  But I have a mental image of Laura Croft as a battle-tested journeywoman adventurer with big tits.  Then again, I suppose this is more meant as an origin story, introducing us to her beginnings.  And Alicia does do a fine job, with the camera recognizing her strengths and lingering on her dirt-smudged sweaty face and well-toned upper torso and budding breasts throughout.


Thanks, DM, for the invite.  A fun time.

[Drunk Monk]

I'm told by a gamer here that the original buxomaximus of Lara began as a programming error, but then they kept it to distinguish her from a male because that was early low-res programming and she was really the first significant female character in a videogame.  Maybe ED can enlighten us here.  

I'm also told that the more recent versions of Lara have had breast reduction.

[Drunk Monk]

Caught a little of the original Lara Croft: Tomb Raider on the telly last night.  It struck me as a better film because it was real, no cgi bs.  Big sets, big cast, big boobs.  Actually those weren't real. Angelina has since 'fessed to wearing a padded bra for Lara.  But I only watched for a few minutes then abandoned it to take a shower, so perhaps if I watched more, the silliness would've caught up with me.  It is a silly film.  

[cranefly]

An ill-timed shower, to my mind, DM.  It requires ample time to keep abreast of the developments in Laura Croft.

my bad...

[Greg]

Your buddy, Mr. Wu has a write up on the front of the Calendar section of the LA Times today.

[Drunk Monk]

He was featured in the SF chron pink last weekend. It was more of a local boy does good, cuz he’s from Oakland.

[Greg]

The LA TIMES referred to him as the Brad Pitt of China.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Fightin’ words.