02-17-2018, 01:53 AM
A cowboy shows up at the Winter Olympics in Austria wanting to compete in the Biathlon. There's some controversy about that, because he doesn't have skis, just a horse, and rather than a rifle, all he has is a double-barreled Gatling gun. But finally it all gets squared away with the judges and soon he is trotting his horse along the ski trail and blasting the targets to smithereens.
As it turns out, this is a revenge tale, as in a prior Winter Olympics the other competitors had shot his horse out from under him. So he's back to get even, and this time he's got his horse girded in chainmail. Of course, that just means the competitors decide to shoot him rather than the horse, but that's not easy, as he's painted himself in Vantablack so they can't see him against the snow.
Of course it all comes down to a big shootout, with twelve competitors taking him on in Olympic Village, during which counting bullets becomes extremely important. The competitors know he's only got 3600 rounds, or actually 7200 rounds, because it's double barreled, and my how the last surviving competitor grins when he hears that 7200th round go off, and steps out into the open with a sneer to cold-bloodedly shoot down our intrepid hero. But as it turns out, this particular Gatlin gun had once belonged to Mrs. Winchester, and being Mrs. Winchester, she liked putting secret chambers in everything, including the stock of this Gatling gun (yes, this particular Gatlin gun has a stock, because I say so), such that it had room for three more bullets. And well, I don't want to spoil any more of this tale for you. See it for yourself to find out what happens next.
I watched this on Hoopla. Once more I was appalled to find that it was dubbed. Rifles and Gatling guns just don't sound as sexy in English. Do try to watch an undubbed version.
As it turns out, this is a revenge tale, as in a prior Winter Olympics the other competitors had shot his horse out from under him. So he's back to get even, and this time he's got his horse girded in chainmail. Of course, that just means the competitors decide to shoot him rather than the horse, but that's not easy, as he's painted himself in Vantablack so they can't see him against the snow.
Of course it all comes down to a big shootout, with twelve competitors taking him on in Olympic Village, during which counting bullets becomes extremely important. The competitors know he's only got 3600 rounds, or actually 7200 rounds, because it's double barreled, and my how the last surviving competitor grins when he hears that 7200th round go off, and steps out into the open with a sneer to cold-bloodedly shoot down our intrepid hero. But as it turns out, this particular Gatlin gun had once belonged to Mrs. Winchester, and being Mrs. Winchester, she liked putting secret chambers in everything, including the stock of this Gatling gun (yes, this particular Gatlin gun has a stock, because I say so), such that it had room for three more bullets. And well, I don't want to spoil any more of this tale for you. See it for yourself to find out what happens next.
I watched this on Hoopla. Once more I was appalled to find that it was dubbed. Rifles and Gatling guns just don't sound as sexy in English. Do try to watch an undubbed version.
I'm nobody's pony.
