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Cold Prey (2006)(Norwegian) by Roar Uthaug
#1
This was my alternative to watching the Winter Olympics (akin to the Puppy Bowl instead of the Super Bowl) -- a horror tale involving five young snowboarders deep in the mountain wilderness of Norway.

They find the perfect slope for their mayhem, and my, what magnificent athletes they are, never falling down, just cutting corners and chiseling and all those snow terms I know nothing about; nor do they ever run out of slope, as somehow they're always transported back near the top to keep on keeping on.

Until one of them does fall, and screams, because he's suffered himself a mild compound fracture of the ankle with bone and blood and it makes you feel sorry for the pristine snow, getting all gooped up by the mess, and now this band of intrepid snowboarders need to find shelter for the night and then get help.

Which quickly leads to that tired old trope I'm always complaining to Lady Cranefly about, of the cursed house -- in this case an abandoned ski lodge -- where evil lurks.  And every bloody horror movie on Netflix streaming seems to use that formula.

I watched this on Hoopla, which advertised this in their capsule description as a "smart, intense and award-winning European sensation that has terrified audiences around the world and put the edge back into the body-count genre."

There is a slight twist -- I'll credit that -- but not worth waiting for.  The acting is mediocre at best, the relationships amateurish, the characters dumb enough to be in the White House, there's lots of cliches, and -- worst of all -- this movie is dubbed into English.  WTF!  That's not what I signed up for.  I wanted Norwegian screams.

The lot of you who watched the Winter Olympics did good.

Rather than watch this sherpa-less slurpee, shaken, not stirred.
I'm nobody's pony.
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#2
Shaun White crushed it.
As a matter of fact, my anger does keep me warm

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#3
Hey! Have some sensitivity.  cf is from Norwegialand.  #gregsowhite
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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#4
As our White House has pointed out in their press briefing, it's spelled Normay.
As a matter of fact, my anger does keep me warm

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#5
Wait...is that fake news?

Lawd, I can't even tell anymore.  

Sad
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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#6
I forgot to mention that the five snowboarders were all fair-skinned and fair-haired.  Just so you don't jump to the wrong conclusion -- this being Norwegia, after all.

Then again, I cannot attest to the ethnic identity of the dubbers, or what crevice or s***hole they might have climbed out of.

Not to mention the sound lab they rode in on.
I'm nobody's pony.
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#7
It's Normegian.


Quote:In advance of Trump’s meeting with Norwegian Prime Minister Erna Solberg, the White House released a press release and – per usual – didn’t bother to proofread.

In the press release, the White House wrote that Trump would “greet Prime Minister Erna Solberg of Normay.”
As a matter of fact, my anger does keep me warm

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