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King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
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Airplane movie.  Usually I'm okay with Guy Ritchie flicks.  He does bromance well.  And the knights of the round table is the ultimate bromance orgy.  But wow, this really sucked.  It's all CGI, miserable CGI, and takes such liberties with the tales that it really should've just been titled something else - black Sir Bedevere? Chinese Sir George (played by Marco Polo's 100 Eyes Tom Wu doing exactly the same role)? Magical King Kong-sized mastadons? There's sword fights, but the sword fights are super lame.  When Arthur grabs Excalibur, it's like Stormbringer - he turns into a Tasmanian devil berserker - which begs the question 'why doesn't he just do that at the beginning and dispatch all the bad guys?' The rest is simple hack and slash. Wu turns in the only fair fight sequence and it's only one small exchange.  There's even a Kraken - I LUVS KRAKEN - but it's done so bizarrely - half nekkid hotties and an Ursula writhing in tentacles - that it's just disappointing.  Same goes for a mage-induced hallucination.  Jude Law struggles so hard to make this into something as the villainous Vortigen, but he's so surrounded by dumb that it's a total fail.

DOOM denied.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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