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01-17-2016, 06:58 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-31-2017, 09:55 AM by Drunk Monk.)
In the tradition of Japanese sanguinuous cinema, but with Salma Hayek. Astoundingly violent, all taking place in one room plus the hall. Full auto, grenades, bazookas, sai, katana, butcher knives, s&m cages, tasers, acid drinking, major splatter, the kind of stuff Tarantino used to poach, but with Salma Hayek. Over-the-top ultravi, but with Salma Hayek. Salma is nekkid in the first scene, but then dons a negligee, and then a tight tank top, and manages to get her spectacular bosom into every shot - and yet, no nipples.
This would make a fine DOOMXMAS flick as it is, at its heart, an xmas flick.
Yea, I'm at home trying to recover from post-Spain travel sickness with vid binging for my medicine. Stacy is working and Tara is at a friends, so it's just me, my coughing Pom, and my appletv.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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Why aren't you watching Jessica Jones
As a matter of fact, my anger does keep me warm
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Armed only with her breasts, Frida Kahlo fights off countless assassins offended by her artistic direction who invade her apartment with an ever-growing arsenal of weapons.
There might be a script behind this, but I saw no evidence of it. An amazingly inept film in every way, from characters lacking even one dimension, to action scenes woefully clumsy, illogical, and poorly shot, to dramatic dialog scenes that go on forever without revealing anything.
This was a sympathy viewing for me. I wanted to show support for Salma Hayek, after hearing her tell of her brush with the Horror Clown. Likely you heard. If not, the Horror Clown wanted to date Salma, but she turned him down. So he called up a tabloid and told them that he would never date Salma Hayek because she's too short. The tabloid dutifully printed it, whereupon the Horror Clown called up Salma and said, "Did you see what the <tabloid> printed? That's not true! Of course I'd date you even at your height!" Hoping she'd feel inferior about her height and accept a date with him for her self-esteem. But she saw through the clown act and didn't put herself in a situation to be groped like Silly Putty in the hands of mad potter.
This is the reason I didn't vote for the Horror Clown, by the way. The only reason.
And it's the reason I watched this.
I must say. Salma and her breasts could do with some better vehicles.
P.S. Greg? The director isn't related, is he? (Hoping I haven't just insulted family.)
I'm nobody's pony.
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Nobody here by that name.
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Oh mighty Magic Mods, we beseech you to perform your merging magic once again.
http://www.brotherhoodofdoom.com/doomFor...&pid=22110
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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You people struggle.
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My excuse is that I gave up on the search box because it would always say I was banned from the board. But I noticed a week ago that it's again working for me. Now I have to break the habit of not using it, and get back the habit of using it.
Why is that so difficult? I don't know.
Thanks for the fix, Greg.
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(01-31-2017, 10:20 AM)Greg Wrote: You people struggle.
indeed we do. If not for the DOOM forum to provide some much needed relief, I don't know what we'd do.
And as I mentioned to CF, I've stood right next to Salma's ample bosom. And it was truly magical.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
