11-20-2016, 11:01 PM
I asked Netflix for The Sound of Music; don't know why they sent me Assault!: Jack the Ripper.
This is a borderline reprehensible film. From the description, I thought it would be like Crash by Cronenburg, which I really liked. It's about a young guy and gal who are dating, sort of, only their sexual encounters lack spark. Then one day while driving, they accidentally kill a pedestrian. In a panic they dispose of the bloodied body. Getting back to the guy's place, they ravish each other in a frenzy. Lesson learned: they need to kill someone to get it on.
From this point onward there may be spoilers. Minor ones, because there's nothing major about this movie. It's only 100 minutes long, a good portion of it brainless and repetitive simulated sex. Lots of nudity, but nothing worth writing home to mother about. Then there's the killings, done with the dullest knife in the universe. It looks like a big butter knife. For whatever reason, the guy likes to finish his victims off with a stab to the vagina (yes, most victims are female).
This may be hard for you to believe, but I fast-forwarded through lots of sex scenes -- something I haven't done since watching National Geographic's Mating Habits of the Galapagos Tortoise.
Them...
Tortoises...
Is...
Slowwwwwwwww...
Stay away.
This is a borderline reprehensible film. From the description, I thought it would be like Crash by Cronenburg, which I really liked. It's about a young guy and gal who are dating, sort of, only their sexual encounters lack spark. Then one day while driving, they accidentally kill a pedestrian. In a panic they dispose of the bloodied body. Getting back to the guy's place, they ravish each other in a frenzy. Lesson learned: they need to kill someone to get it on.
From this point onward there may be spoilers. Minor ones, because there's nothing major about this movie. It's only 100 minutes long, a good portion of it brainless and repetitive simulated sex. Lots of nudity, but nothing worth writing home to mother about. Then there's the killings, done with the dullest knife in the universe. It looks like a big butter knife. For whatever reason, the guy likes to finish his victims off with a stab to the vagina (yes, most victims are female).
This may be hard for you to believe, but I fast-forwarded through lots of sex scenes -- something I haven't done since watching National Geographic's Mating Habits of the Galapagos Tortoise.
Them...
Tortoises...
Is...
Slowwwwwwwww...
Stay away.
I'm nobody's pony.