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Yosemite 2015
#1
Current plans are for us to descend on that hellscape known as the Awahnee Hotel from Nov 1- Nov 6. Pray for us.

Actually, we are only staying at the Awahnee for two nights before retreating to the Yosemite Lodge. But still, the horror, the horror.

Plans are to hike up Yosemite Falls, hike down from Glacier Point along the Panorama trail and hike to Glen Aulin Falls.

Plans are tentative to bring along some sort of photographic apparatus.
So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit
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#2
I'm kidding myself at the moment, as I move around the office, that this time I'm going to pack light. I'm just going to bring the essentials. I have no idea what that means. I'm currently staring at 6 bags for the camera gear.

This should be fun. It is supposed to snow on Monday. This might close Tioga pass for the season, which would mean no hike to Glen Aulin Falls on Wednesday. See what happens when you pray for rain to fill the waterfalls?
So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit
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#3
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The clock I use to determine what time to go out to walk the dogs was the one that didn’t automatically reset for the time change Pacific Standard Time. I didn’t realize that I was up at 3am instead of 4am until the Queen stumbled into the kitchen bleary eyed and pointed at the microwave which revealed the truth.

Well, I was up and dressed. I had my shoes on and the dogs were ready, so I out I went. The Queen and I were both itching to go to Yosemite, so let’s go.

We rocketed up the 99 towards Merced. It was rare when my speed was under 75mph. Since driving in the car on vacation means diet break, my seams bulged as I shoveled junk food into my mouth. The KROQ podcast played from cel phone.

Our first and only stop was in Oakhurst, on the 41 climbing into the mountains. We would have gotten to the park gate faster but a slow black pick-up truck who didn’t know about courtesy and turn-outs lanes plodded along in front of us the final 40 miles.

Before you knew it, we were cruising passed Wawona to the Glacier Point road. For some reason, the park didn’t smell like we had just exploded a pine scented air-freshener in the car. We managed to soldier on.

It always amazes me how quickly we get to the Park. We had left the house at 4:30 and there we were, a little before 10, pulling into the Glacier Point Parking Lot. It’s closer than my parents house and yet, I go to my parents more than I go to Yosemite.

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Crowds of visitors were wandering around the point looking at the Panoramas around us. Yes, I hated all of them. They chattered loudly. They got in the way of my photographs. I responded by getting in the way of their photographs.

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I’m seriously considering writing a book called “How not to get punched while taking photographs.” Rule 1 would be don’t stand on opposite sides of the trail and make everyone stop while you try and figure out to frame your fucking shot which is going to be lousy anyway. Did I mention I hate people?

But then there was Yosemite to level out my anger. The sky was crystal blue, temperature in the 70s. You could see every thing out to the Clark range. Even though only a trickle of water came over the Yosemite Falls, it was great to see. Water flowed more freely through the Nevada and Vernal Falls, destinations for our hike later in the week. Snap. Snap. Snap.

Oddly enough, I wanted a picture of me from Glacier Point. I wanted a picture where thousands of people had taken there pictures before, including John Muir and Ansel Adams. Outside of the enclosed area, passed the “Danger, Don’t Pass” sign is a rock platform that protrudes over the cliff edge. There is nothing between you and the valley floor 2000 feet below but air.

I had eschewed ever going out there, being a big believer in warning signs and the effects of gravity on the human body, until I saw the picture from the early 1900’s of the girl in her dress standing on the same rock. Naturally, the hind brain decided to take the picture on the trip.

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Yes, I got the are you crazy or stupid look from the Queen. But, she did agree to participate in the lunacy. It was a win-win in her case. Either she got a great picture or she got a lot of insurance money.

So, I hopped off the pretty stone wall, made my way passed the warning sign, and then I waited until the group on the boulder finished taking their selfies. I wasn’t completely stupid. I didn’t go all the way out to the point. I merely climbed onto the boulder that led to the point.

While I waited, I got to hear a very pleasant man jeer at me about being a candidate for the Darwin Awards. If I was in his frame of mind, I would probably yell the same thing. But he kept yelling it like I didn’t hear him from only fifteen away. I eventually responded, since I had plenty of time out there while the Queen fiddled with her new camera. It was something along the lines of acknowledging his humor but isn’t it time to move on?

I descended off the rock without mishap and gave over my spot to the next group of law breakers and Darwin Award nominees. I asked them politely not to fall.

The only problem with this story is that there is no proof. The Queen fought with her cameras controls and lost. All the shots of me, feet from plummeting to my death, were blurry. It’s one thing to do something stupid, it’s another not to have proof. Curses, I say!

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Glacier Point wasn’t our only destination for the day. I thought we should take a quick hike up to Sentinel Dome. It was only a mile from the road.

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Probably one of the The Queen’s least favorite bits about going to Yosemite with me is listening to me and my dumb stories. She has probably heard them millions of times. And since I’ve been to so many spots, I probably have a story about all of them. She would sincerely like to go to some place we are both visiting for the first time.

My story for Sentinel Dome was that I had hiked it with Scapino and his then girlfriend. Scapino managed to talk her into taking some topless photos atop the dome. This only became a problem a short time later when they broke up. She wanted the negatives, which he gave her. But he might have kept some of the prints. I’m pretty sure where ever he got the photos developed, has some prints, too.

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So, we climb to Sentinel Dome. The whole path there I’m thinking how do we get up there? The sides from the trail are hellishly steep. Steep as in you are going to need ropes. Maybe the trail just gets really close up?

It’s peaceful and quiet on the trail. The trees give way to granite slopes. I’m enjoying the serenity of being in the mountains hiking. The path is so much better far from the Glacier Point crowds. Until some moron calls out “Cousin’ to someone behind me on the trail. The only person I see back there is the Queen and it looks like the moron mistook her for someone else.

Then the women turns to me and says “Hey, Greg” and keeps on going down the trail towards her cousin. What the hell? Turns out, it’s the Queen’s cousin. The Queen had been seeing her on Facebook and remarked that she was in the park. But what are the odds of bumping into someone you know miles from the well trodden paths of Yosemite?

The cousins chatted. Pictures were taken for proof. Then we parted ways.

The trail continued around the dome and suddenly before us was this gently sloping side of Sentinel Dome. It was an easy jaunt to the top. I thrilled the Queen with a story about the Joshua Tree that used to grow out of the top of the Dome.

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The beauty of Sentinel Dome was the quiet. Far fewer people made for much less noise. The views were stunning. We could see Half Dome to one side and El Capitan to the other. We did the photo swap duties with a young girl. At this point, I had not descended into Selfie Madness, which would occur later on the trail to Mirror Lake.

I now want to do that hike every time I go to Yosemite.

Second only to the views from Sentinel Dome were all the lovely yellow signs warning us about the increase of plague in the park. Basically, don’t pet the squirrels.

For accommodations, we were going to spend the first two nights in the Awahnee and the final three nights at the Yosemite Lodge. We’re frugal that way. The Awahnee was beautiful as always. It just has a great feel as you walk under the lanterns down the covered hall into the lobby. The double red doors that were the inspiration for the Shining always feel a little creepy.
And I hoped that soon there would be a roaring fire in the the walk in fireplace. Granted, it was no tent under the stars in the middle of a puddle, we decided to make do.

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You know what happens after you drive a long way and then have a long hike and you decide to lie down for a minute? Yep. Two hours later we woke up with thoughts of dinner.

Deborah Bjonerud and her mate were also visiting the park at this time. I think our plans spurred on their plans. I gave them a call to find out where they were and what they were doing. Turns out, they were downstairs in the bar of the hotel. We freshened up and joined them.

We sat outside in the rapidly cooling night sharing drinks and stories of our day. Rather than braving the uppity gargoyle guarding the door to the main dining room, we opted for bar food.

Ah, a pleasant first day.

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So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit
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#4
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We had ambitious plans for the week. Monday we were going to hike the 4 mile trail to Glacier Point and then the Panorama trail to get back down. Tuesday, we were going to rest and switch from the Awahnee to the Yosemite Lodge in a bit of frugality. Wednesday, we would drive over to Tuolome Meadows and hike to Glen Aulin falls. We’d finish the week by ascending the North side of the Canyon, climbing to the top of Yosemite Falls.

An ambitious schedule to be sure, but the Queen had signed off on all of it. In fact, she was the one who suggested rather than taking the bus to Glacier Point and hiking down, we climb up the 4 Mile trail to Glacier. This, in the face of knowing that 13 years ago, it was torturous to hike down the very same trail. And we are older now. I think 13 years older. How torturous? I’ll show you the tape some time.

We had agreed to train to do all these hikes, but then life got in the way of all our good intentions. We did do one 12 mile hike up to Echo Canyon, which I figured would at least prep our bodies for an extended hike. But that was in August and that was the last big hike we did.

So, we were mentally prepared, kind of. But our plans were in place.

You know how to make God laugh, right? Well he laughed hard.

Sunday night a big winter storm rolled through. The forecast called for up to 4 inches of rain in the next 36 hours. In Los Angeles, a big storm that causes hundreds accidents usually only drops a 1/4 of an inch of rain. Uh, oh.

But the Queen and I are flexible. I cancelled the Monday hike while the Queen ordered up an in-room massage from the concierge for the following day.

Rain fell against the windows, as we dined in the huge Awahnee Dining room. Deer gamboled (Do deer gambole?) across the grounds, making breakfast of the only lawn in the valley. I opted for the daily buffet, not to be confused with the ginormous Sunday brunch. I stole strawberries and muffins for the Queen.

This was the first encounter with the dining room and it came off poorly and was a harbinger of bad dining experiences to come. Although, we were the first ones into the room, a lot of food on the line was already cold. Sure, a lot of bacon is good. A lot of cold bacon is not. The only thing that saved it was an attentive wait staff, although a bit snoopy. I got so I didn’t want to say anything if I could see our servers in the vicinity.

After breakfast, we took the tram to the Village store to partake in that age old ritual of knick-knack acquisition. The trip failed as no lucre changed hands at this time.

Since we were in Yosemite and it wasn’t raining all that hard, we opted to walk back to the Awahnee. It was quite pleasant. New waterfalls cascaded down the Valley walls. We stood in the spot in the Awahnee meadow where Ansel Adams took one of his memorable shots of Half-Dome. Half-Dome and most of the upper reaches of the valley were wreathed in clouds. The Queen and I used our cel phones to take some crappy pictures.

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If you are a photographer, cel phones make you lazy. Sure, I could open up my back pack and dig out the five pounds or metal and glass and fiddle with the controls until I get something. Or, I could just whip out the phone and blast away, filling my micro SD card with marginal photos. I noticed during the trip I had to make myself take out the big camera.

As we continued back, I noticed two waterfalls falling near the Awahnee, coming down the rocks. I let the Queen continue back for her massage while I hunted for the base of these heretofore to me new waterfalls.

They were an easy to find. They came down and flowed over the Loop trail. Trail improvements complete with stones to avoid the water signified that this water had flown before. I climbed to both waterfalls bases, took pictures and video, and uploaded it to Facebook. In the cel phone camera’s defense, I can’t do that with the big camera. Well, I can, I just have to use the cel phone as an intermediary to do it.

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Back in the room, the Queen was prepping for her massage. In my mind was the discourse about the logic of letting a strange man come in and rub my wife, while I headed for other parts. Well, I did get to shoot the humble brag photos before I departed. That made up for my lack sense, didn’t it?

You know how you’re being manipulated by the DM but you go ahead and do the things he wants no matter how foolish they make you look? Because well, I don’t know why. I knew I was being manipulated but I carried on.

After I uploaded the photos to Facebook, I got the message back from DM that I should go out in the rain and experience the real Yosemite. He wove some tale of how he had been out in the wilderness before the flood that launched Noah, hanging out under a rock reveling in all the magical waterfalls around him. The implications was that if I had any stones at all, I’d be out in the elements, too, rather than loafing in comfort near the fireplace. Did I mention the Awahnee does a free tea service for it’s guests from 4:30 until 6:00?

In order to be a real man, I had to go back out. It didn’t matter it was already my plan to make myself scarce while the oils and lotions were applied to the Queen’s naked flesh. Although it seemed like DM’s plan, it was my intention.

With my waterproof Gopro and a less than waterproof cel phone in hand, I headed back up the loop trail to Mirror Lake. The big camera could stay warm and dry in it’s backpack.

I have a lot of trepidation when I return to Yosemite that it won’t be as spectacular as all the other times I’ve been there. Maybe this will be the time I’ll be blasé about the whole experience. Maybe this will be the time that I won’t need to take another photo of Half-Dome because, god knows, I have hundreds back at home on the hard drive.

Well, the walk in the rain to Mirror Lake reminded me how much I love Yosemite. First off, I was all alone, not a soul to be seen. It was like I had the park to myself. Black Maples lined the path, their leaves turning to a bright yellow. Water droplets danced on the lake, while water roared passed the rocks in the creek. I could see water streaming down from Half-Dome at multiple points. Yes, DM, goddamn it, it was magical.

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This was also the point where I gave into the selfie. I don’t like them. It’s narcissism at it’s finest. Who cares where I am, look at me in the picture. What’s the matter? Are you so socially inept can’t you find somebody to take a picture of you.

Did I mention I was all alone? Did I mention that I couldn’t have DM just besmirching my character without some response? Well, I didn’t but I am now. Attention must be paid, dammit.

So, I lined up my Big Ugly Mug with three waterfalls coming down Half-Dome in the background. That will show him. DM talked about magical waterfalls. I had proof of them. It was also fun to use the GoPro, in it’s waterproof housing, to take movies of all the pouring rain.

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Here is a photo tip, when shooting in the rain, make sure you wipe of the plastic in front of the camera lens before you take a photo. Otherwise, you get lets of really blurry shots taken through water drops. I have hours of footage to show you why that is a bad idea.

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I wandered and I enjoyed life. The anger in my breast cooled for a moment. It flared into life as a motorized cart passed me, cleaning the bicycle path. On the one hand, the noise infuriated me. On the other, it was a really cool little cart with a big sweeper on the front.

Back in the Awahnee, I found the Queen in the Solarium reading a book and watching more deer on the lawn outside. We texted Deborah and Brian to find out their plans. Their plan turned out to be sitting in the Awahnee great room in front of the fire about seventy feet away from us.

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We dined in the Dining Room. This meal went passably. I’m still annoyed by the cost of the food, but we had good company.

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The Queen and I braved the rain for a walk to lower Yosemite Falls. We took the loop trail over and sure enough we bumped into Deb and Brian. I guess Yosemite just guides you to people you know.

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The Lower falls roared away. The selfie problem was taking a firm hold, but we did get some people to take a shot of the Queen and I, so it hadn’t fully taken root at this point. Even the Queen was taking selfies.

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For dinner, we dined in the bar. I only had to send my food back once. It seems when you order a pastrami and cheese, you would think you would get cheese.
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#5
I am suspicious of Greg's memory, even with his photographic evidence. Photos can be photoshopped. Wink
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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#6
With which part do you find fault?

tQ's version will have lots more swearing at her husband.
So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit
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#7
Greg Wrote:tQ's version will have lots more swearing at her husband.
I just want to hear that part. It would be amusing.
Shadow boxing the apocalypse
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#8
I didn't do any swearing until day three. I'll wait until that part of the story is told.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
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