Kung Fu Wonder Child (1986)

[Drunk Monk]

This flick is mind-blowing, one of those non-classic, non-Shaw, Kung Fu flicks that is so outrageously horrible that it is a masterpiece. A true DOOM flick if I ever saw one.

Lin Hsiao Lan (a girl) plays the Wonder Child (a boy). Like Brigitte Lin in Dragon Inn, Linda Hunt in Year of Living Dangerously, or Cate Blanchette in I'm not there, Lin plays it straight (pun intended). There is no Mulan moment, no accidental brush against the bosom to reveal she is truly a girl (as if it isn't obvious). Lin plays a boy. Apparently she made a career of playing boys. And she isn't in the least bit manly.

This is a Daoist magic flick, full of hopping vampires, really cheesey qi blasts (effects more crude than original Star Trek phaser beams), and pathetic monster make-up. There's slapstick like fart attacks, pee jokes and vampires going face first into cow pies (don't think that was a special effect pie either). There's weird demon puppets that are like fuzz-covered sticks with faces and fangs. There's a facehugger ala Alien. There's really bad flying wire work and sets that were so bad that Greg could have made them back when we were in High School. SPOILER in the finale, the villain turns into a cartoon dragon using animation that's about the level of the original Flintstones Hanna-Barbara cartoon END SPOILER

Top DOOM recommendations for this one.

[cranefly]

Man, this seems so familiar.

I found a 3-minute clip on youtube, and even that looks mighty familiar. But can't say for sure whether I saw it back in the '80s on Kung Fu Theater or similar late night show.

[Drunk Monk]

The thing is that I saw a lot of Kung Fu movies in my youth on late night shows, and I often fell asleep during them because they were so late, so I only have fragments of some films. Plus the fact that many Kung Fu films were made by cutting up other Kung Fu films and re-editing them. It's funny though because sometimes I'll be half way through a film and thing, dang, I've seen this before!