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Khakee (The Brown Uniform) (Hindi 2004) by Rajkumar Santoshi
#1
A team of police officers from different walks of life are assigned the extremely dangerous task of escorting a terrorist suspect cross-country to a courthouse for trial. The terrorist group IS has killed many other police officers while guarding this suspect, and it has promised to kill all of them.

Admittedly, I was Ash-seeking when I picked up this DVD. But Ash isn't given much to do. Mostly she gets hit on by Akshay Kumar, here playing a smarmy creep of a policeman. These scenes are unpleasant to watch and take up most of the middle of the film. There’s a couple of Bollywood numbers, one almost decent, except it’s Ash and Akshay, which make it largely unwatchable.

There’s continuity problems throughout, such as the aging Amitabh Bachchan fighting a young and virile terrorist until gasping and clutching at his heart, but seconds later he’s throwing the terrorist around like a rag doll. The dialog scenes run much too long. Even the many action scenes feel bloated. The decent acting goes for naught. This needed a butcher to cut it down to 800 words -- er, I mean, to 85 minutes. The fast-forward button is your friend. Many parts can be watched at 16x, shortening 3 hours to maybe 2 hours. Even then, it’s not worth the bother.

Oddly, this film did very well in India and got rave reviews from critics and viewers alike. Maybe it was new territory for Bollywood in 2004, but my goodness I found it tedious, with countless problems, including some of those overly sentimental moments DM has mentioned in Bollywood cinema.

Skip this DVD (across the ocean and back to India).
I'm nobody's pony.
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