10-08-2014, 04:00 PM
THE CODA
If the trip were a movie, I’d have to be the villain of the piece. I’m the cranky caregiver standing between my parents and happiness. I’m still waiting to have ungrateful carved on my tombstone.
It was acknowledged by all that the parents couldn’t have done the trip without me. They probably couldn’t have done it with either of my siblings, too just because of the difficulty in shifting so much luggage. Although, that’s why you give tips to porters.
I did feel bad for my father as he had less energy as the trip wore on. In the beginning he would shake off my efforts to help him up the steps outside cousin Natalie’s house.. Towards the end he was actively seeking my assistance. His recovery after collapsing into the chair in Natalie’s living room seemed to take longer and longer.
On the other hand, he was genuinely happy to see all his Irish friends despite how few remain. I think it would have gone better for him if his hearing aids hadn’t proved problematic and he stopped wearing them. But in the pictures with Brendan, Noel, Hugh and Lilly, he smiles a lot. And his fervent ‘God Bless You’s” that he gave on every departure seemed heartfelt.
The devil car on our second trip to Boston was the nadir. First off, if you aren’t driving, you aren’t the one in control. That’s a terrible position to be if if you are used to being the one in charge. Then you combine it with sitting crushed in the back seat of a too small passenger car and you wonder if things could get any worse.
There were even a few milliseconds when I felt bad for my mother. I know, hard to believe coming from me. Most of the time I just wanted to scream and scream some more at her. But occasionally I would look at her position and feel sorry for her. She was on a trip with a son who obviously didn’t like her. If she wanted anything done, like getting groceries of finding a paper, she had to hope someone would do those things. Although asking my father to get things done usually worked.
I know I would hate it if I were to lose my self sufficiency. It is one of the root causes of my disagreements with my mother. I do things myself. She is always looking to have things done for her.
At the end of the trip, my parents did thank me for all I had done. I was still angry from the last plane flight so I was less than gracious in my response to them. I think they even hinted that I should help them on their next trip back to Boston in the Spring for my mother’s 60th college reunion. I told them to take Stephanie. I even had my father convinced to let Stephanie and Mom go by themselves so he could have a break. My mother said that wasn’t going to happen.
I was also asked whether I had a good time. That’s tricky. It kind of comes down to the city of Limerick and whether or not I actually like going there.
At one point in trying to figure that out, I likened the trip to visiting the canal walk. If you don’t look closely, it’s a beautiful walk in green along a slowly flowing river that is peppered with ducks, swans and herons. But if you look at it closely, you see all the trash and debris. Which is an apt metaphor for the entire city.
There were many things I liked about Limerick. I like the historic old buildings. I could sit in my hotel room for hours watching the tide go in and out on the Shannon while cloud formations constantly changed in the sky. I took more pictures of swans than anybody would ever want to look at.
But it’s also grimy. There are pockets of extreme poverty. And there are probably gangs of people you would rather not associate with.
It might be just a big nostalgia trip that I wallow in, going back repeatedly to the same spots to photograph them. For this trip I made an album of those photographs which I will now have to update with the new photos of the same things.
The one thing I did regret was not seeing more of the country, investigating places I hadn’t really visited before. Originally, that was my plan. I had it mapped out to visit Cork and Waterford. But on the first day, I realized I couldn’t ditch my parents long enough for those trips. This was their trip and they needed me around. So, I resolved to explore the local area that much more deeply.
Even with that, there are still things I want to do in Limerick. They now offer kayaking on the Shannon between the Thomond and Sarsfield bridges. I tried to do it on Sunday but the tides weren’t right. I was also going to have a guided walking tour through the medieval quarter but my guide decided to take the weekend off.
I enjoyed immensely my epic river walks and can’t wait to do them again. I still don’t have the definitive picture of Quinn Abby. Although that might never happen. I think the beauty of this trip is that it left me wanting to go back, as if I still had things to do there.
I’m already checking the calendar for 2016
If the trip were a movie, I’d have to be the villain of the piece. I’m the cranky caregiver standing between my parents and happiness. I’m still waiting to have ungrateful carved on my tombstone.
It was acknowledged by all that the parents couldn’t have done the trip without me. They probably couldn’t have done it with either of my siblings, too just because of the difficulty in shifting so much luggage. Although, that’s why you give tips to porters.
I did feel bad for my father as he had less energy as the trip wore on. In the beginning he would shake off my efforts to help him up the steps outside cousin Natalie’s house.. Towards the end he was actively seeking my assistance. His recovery after collapsing into the chair in Natalie’s living room seemed to take longer and longer.
On the other hand, he was genuinely happy to see all his Irish friends despite how few remain. I think it would have gone better for him if his hearing aids hadn’t proved problematic and he stopped wearing them. But in the pictures with Brendan, Noel, Hugh and Lilly, he smiles a lot. And his fervent ‘God Bless You’s” that he gave on every departure seemed heartfelt.
The devil car on our second trip to Boston was the nadir. First off, if you aren’t driving, you aren’t the one in control. That’s a terrible position to be if if you are used to being the one in charge. Then you combine it with sitting crushed in the back seat of a too small passenger car and you wonder if things could get any worse.
There were even a few milliseconds when I felt bad for my mother. I know, hard to believe coming from me. Most of the time I just wanted to scream and scream some more at her. But occasionally I would look at her position and feel sorry for her. She was on a trip with a son who obviously didn’t like her. If she wanted anything done, like getting groceries of finding a paper, she had to hope someone would do those things. Although asking my father to get things done usually worked.
I know I would hate it if I were to lose my self sufficiency. It is one of the root causes of my disagreements with my mother. I do things myself. She is always looking to have things done for her.
At the end of the trip, my parents did thank me for all I had done. I was still angry from the last plane flight so I was less than gracious in my response to them. I think they even hinted that I should help them on their next trip back to Boston in the Spring for my mother’s 60th college reunion. I told them to take Stephanie. I even had my father convinced to let Stephanie and Mom go by themselves so he could have a break. My mother said that wasn’t going to happen.
I was also asked whether I had a good time. That’s tricky. It kind of comes down to the city of Limerick and whether or not I actually like going there.
At one point in trying to figure that out, I likened the trip to visiting the canal walk. If you don’t look closely, it’s a beautiful walk in green along a slowly flowing river that is peppered with ducks, swans and herons. But if you look at it closely, you see all the trash and debris. Which is an apt metaphor for the entire city.
There were many things I liked about Limerick. I like the historic old buildings. I could sit in my hotel room for hours watching the tide go in and out on the Shannon while cloud formations constantly changed in the sky. I took more pictures of swans than anybody would ever want to look at.
But it’s also grimy. There are pockets of extreme poverty. And there are probably gangs of people you would rather not associate with.
It might be just a big nostalgia trip that I wallow in, going back repeatedly to the same spots to photograph them. For this trip I made an album of those photographs which I will now have to update with the new photos of the same things.
The one thing I did regret was not seeing more of the country, investigating places I hadn’t really visited before. Originally, that was my plan. I had it mapped out to visit Cork and Waterford. But on the first day, I realized I couldn’t ditch my parents long enough for those trips. This was their trip and they needed me around. So, I resolved to explore the local area that much more deeply.
Even with that, there are still things I want to do in Limerick. They now offer kayaking on the Shannon between the Thomond and Sarsfield bridges. I tried to do it on Sunday but the tides weren’t right. I was also going to have a guided walking tour through the medieval quarter but my guide decided to take the weekend off.
I enjoyed immensely my epic river walks and can’t wait to do them again. I still don’t have the definitive picture of Quinn Abby. Although that might never happen. I think the beauty of this trip is that it left me wanting to go back, as if I still had things to do there.
I’m already checking the calendar for 2016
So much for the flickr badge idea. Dammit