Fast and Furious

[Drunk Monk]

Fast Five

My first Justin Lin car flick, believe it or not. I liked his Finishing the Game. Absurd car chases in Rio. I mean really absurd, like kung fu flying fights but with cars - same kind of abstract physics - but with muscle cars. The end recalled Blues Brothers in the constant car collisions. This was like car chase porn. Utterly brainless, but not unwatchable. Some good fights - Diesel vs. the Rock was a decent 'roided bald dudes battle. Lots of machine guns and explosions. Some tire iron/monkey wrench bashing. A sword fight would have been welcome.

Not DOOM worthy. Not even recommended but it's better than watching the news on a slow news day. I don't have to see another Justin Lin car flick.

I should mention that I got this dvd/brd thru a publicist that sent it to me as a kick down gift along with a commemorative Scarface cigar. I wish the Scarface cigar was cooler.

[Drunk Monk]

Movies
Fast Five is One of TIME’s Top 10 Movies of 2011
By Gilbert Cruz | @gilbertcruz | December 7, 2011 | +

No, seriously. On our list of the best movies of 2011, chosen by Richard Corliss — our film critic of 31 years — the fourth sequel to 2001′s The Fast & The Furious comes in at number 10.

He explains why thusly:

This list is short on sensitive indie dramas, heavy on mainstream mayhem, but it was that kind of year. The big boys — Hollywood technicians, from FX gurus to stunt choreographers — used their tools with more craft and cojones than the Sundance auteurs. Fast Five, fifth in the Fast & Furious series starring Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, is a live-action movie with so much whirling tumult, so many moments of low genius, that it plays like an animated car-toon. The dialogue, characterizations and acting are irrelevant to the success of this first great film of the post-human era. As if recalling the epochal heist in Edwin S. Porter’s 1903 The Great Train Robbery and, a decade later, the auto carnage of Mack Sennett’s Keystone Kops, speeding down the streets of a new metropolis known as Los Angeles, director Justin Lin goes back to basics — with another train robbery, and vehicular violence in police vehicles on the streets of Rio — just souped up and stripped down like a stock car in a death race. A carnival of roguish heroes and pretty girls, car chases and cliffhangers, Fast Five is as much a tribute as The Artist or Hugo to the cinema’s primal thrills.

http://entertainment.time.com/2011/12/07...s-of-2011/

Detective Dee & Rango also made the list.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

Why is Rango winning awards?

[Drunk Monk]

I'm going to a screener for F&F6 because my old girlfriend Gina Carano is in it. I saw FF because I posted this thread on it. I reread the synopsis on wikipedia and I can't remember a damn thing about FF. I haven't seen any other Furious flicks. At least, I don't remember seeing any. :?

I'm just going to write my review about how hot Gina is.

Seriously.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

I worked on the first one. We all thought the idea was ludicrous. It was originally called Redline. Oddly, another film called Redline was released in the last few years.

[Drunk Monk]

I worked on the first one.

You win the coolest DOOM bro award for today.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

I work on all the crappy films. We built some barn in an old warehouse in Burbank.

[Drunk Monk]

...F&F7 is already in the works.

[Drunk Monk]

But I was entertained. I even laughed out loud at a scene that was so insanely stupid, it was damn funny. It was free. Well, I had to write a review, but I did that in my sleep, like any professional reviewer.

I missed the Brotherhood. If we were all together, watching this flick at Maggimoto Castle over beer, single malt and cheese balls, oh the side comments we call could have made. It would have been a laugh riot.

[Drunk Monk]

Well, this sweepstakes was a disaster. First Paul Walker goes off and dies so the sweepstakes is pulled up a few days after launch. The promoter (a long time associate) had even cajoled me into giving her the best date for the launch (black Friday). Then we get it back up with the 'donating to Paul Walker's charity' line, but it can only run for 5 days because we got another sweeps coming in on Friday the 13th. Then, during our website migration, the damn sweepstakes crashes. And to top it all off, some idiot (me :oops posted the wrong end date on our viral announcements.

So we only have a few entries. Very few.

So if some one was to enter now, they'd have a pretty good chance of winning.

Especially if that someone reading this used a pseudonym.

;-)

[Drunk Monk]

The F8 of the Furious - brilliant title F8 for installment 8. It's the only bit that's passingly intelligent about this franchise. S&T went to tour UCSD today so I had to pick them up at SJC late and had to kill a few hours and F8 fit perfectly in that window. And like the rest of the furious franchise, it's dumb. Painfully absurdly unapologetically dumb. In fact, if you stop to think about anything in F8, even the most trifling detail, the overwhelming dumbness unravels everything. But as long as you don't do that, it's not boring. Funny quips. Hot cars. Gratuitous gear shifting. Lots of explosions. Crashes aplenty. Fireballs. Full auto gunplay. Silly physics. Roid driven banter. Wobbly cam shot fights but still enjoyable. For a moment, I even regretted skipping F7, because the plot would make more sense, but then I was like 'plot? Srsly?' Charlize was a really good villainess. Stole the show. She made up for the lack of MMA hotties like from the last two installments. Sort of a warm up for Atomic Blonde. Luv Charlize. I'd watch her floss. I'm sure that would be mesmerizing. Charlize flossing in slo-mo. Yeah, I'd watch that in IMAX 3D. I can hardly wait for Atomic Blonde. But I wouldn't recommend F8 unless you just wanna get really dumb. Murica dumb. Actually worldwide dumb because F8 killed it at the box office all over the planet. Make Murica dumb again. The future's so dumb, I gotta wear shades.

[Greg]

I worked on the first one of these. It was called 'Redline' during production. When we heard the plot all we kept thinking was "This is dumb'. Good to know things haven't changed.

I've only seen one of these. The one in Japan. The one without Vin. Guess what? It was dumb

[Drunk Monk]

I worked on the first one. We all thought the idea was ludicrous. It was originally called Redline.  Oddly, another film called Redline was released in the last few years.

I worked on the first one of these. It was called 'Redline' during production. When we heard the plot all we kept thinking was "This is dumb'. Good to know things haven't changed.

I've only seen one of these. The one in Japan. The one without Vin. Guess what? It was dumb

We know already.  Wait is this Greg or Bartholomew Sargasso (aka BS?)


$544,537,111 dumb so far.  

[Greg]

I just want to make sure everyone knows I worked on it.

Because I did.

Work on it.

Plus, I figure with your brain melt, you might not remember.

That I worked on it.

On the original Fast & Furious.

When it was called Redline.

It was dumb.

[cranefly]

Let's see if I'm following all this.  The two most popular threads on DOOM right now (ignoring "Our Collective Health Is Going to Hell in a Tesla") are the Fast and Furious franchise and Iron Fist,  both of which -- according to all -- are rotting heaps of retched crap.

WTF?  It's like gathering around the fridge and taking turns smelling a carton of bad milk, and all the while we're wasting electricity because the effin' fridge is open!

At least close the fridge!

So, uh.  Where was I going with this?