The Olympics

[thatguy]

It's very post-apocalypse, very Hunger Games...

Or Simpsons...



--tv

[Greg]

Is Nathan Chen a Redshirt?

[Greg]

Watched the finals of the Men's half-pipe. Sad to see Shaun White do his final run. I still remember those dorky outfits when they did the first game. It would have been nice if he had won a medal. Every time i see half-pipe, I just think how fast I would die if I tried any of those tricks.

[Drunk Monk]

Every time i see half-pipe, I just think how fast I would die if I tried any of those tricks.

 I think that about pretty much every winter game… even curling.

Watched Chen skate, then Chloe’s run, then some speed skating and more random figure skating. Watched Gu’s jumps and some skiing stuff. Then some skeleton which would be a face first into the ice death for me.

[Greg]

Same. I figure I would face plant as soon as I stepped on the ice in curling with my one slippery shoe and my one sticky shoe. They showed a woman who was able to get incredibly low to the ice when she shot the rock because of some spine injury.

Still need to see Chen skate although I saw him get his scores twice. It's nice they have the live events on three channels at 5pm. Although would it kill them to occasionally show a leader board or a list of who is coming up next. I'm sure it's to keep us watching. I'm very sick of the Toyota ad of every playing hockey from all the different disciplines.

[Drunk Monk]

Chen was cool but he's not Kamila. I don't know what she's juicing on but make mine a double. 

When does the JA bobsled team run start?

[Greg]

Soon come, mon. Let's get through the sport with coolest name first: Skeleton.

[Drunk Monk]

Saw the JA practice run. They were terrible, banging the sides like crazy. But they got a cool black bobsled and cool uniforms. Cool runnings. 

Is it wrong to be focused on watching the falls and crashes? Those and the figure skating are all that's engaging me now.

[Greg]

Okay these are the Olympic stories to watch.

In one of the Cross Country events, the Norwegian winner, who won by a lot, waited until the last racer in the event crossed the finish line minutes later before he celebrated.

Brittany Bowe gave up her spot in the 500m Speed Skating race to teammate Erin Jackson because Bowe had already qualified in two other Speed Skating events. Erin Jackson won Gold in the event. Bowe, because of how the qualifying went was also allowed to skate in that race.

[Greg]

Mikhaela Schifrin really needs a big hug at this point. So, does the women's hockey team. And the men's hockey team. And why they keep starting the hockey games as I'm going to bed? Nice to see the men's curling team in the semis. I feel really bad for the Russian 15 year old figure skater. It seems like there is a lot of backlash in China and the USA now for Gu.

[Drunk Monk]

I kinda gave up on these games. I was smitten by Kamila but then...

[Drunk Monk]

And then there was this...

February 20, 20221:33 AM PSTLast Updated 8 hours ago


Cross-country skiing-Finn Remi suffers frozen penis in mass start race
By Philip O'connor
1 minute read

2022 Beijing Olympics - Cross-Country Skiing - Men's 50km Mass Start Free - National Cross-Country Centre, Zhangjiakou, China - February 19, 2022. Ireneu Esteve Altimiras of Andorra, Perttu Hyvarinen of Finland, Remi Lindholm of Finland and Giandomenico Salvadori of Italy in action. REUTERS/Lindsey Wasson
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ZHANGJIAKOU, China, Feb 20 (Reuters) - The men's 50km mass start race at the Beijing Games was shortened to 30km but that did little to help Finland's Remi Lindholm, who needed a heat pack at the end of the race to thaw out a particularly sensitive body part.
Lindholm spent just under an hour and 16 minutes traversing the course in howling, freezing winds, leading to his penis becoming frozen for the second time in a cross-country skiing race following a similar incident in Ruka, Finland last year.

"You can guess which body part was a little bit frozen when I finished (the men's Olympic 50km race) ... it was one of the worst competitions I've been in. It was just about battling through," he told Finnish media.
With organisers worried about frostbite during Saturday's race, it was delayed by an hour and shortened by 20km. The thin suits and under-layers worn by racers, as well as plasters to cover their faces and ears, offered little protection.

Lindholm explained that he used a heat pack to try to thaw out his appendage once the race was over.
"When the body parts started to warm up after the finish, the pain was unbearable," he added.

Editing by Jacqueline Wong

[Greg]

"Just when I thought I was out, they drag me back in"

Caught the skiing in the half-pipe and the end of the women's 30km cross-country. They probably should have called off the skiing when they realized the winds were blowing the competitors out of the half pipe. The cross country just looked painful. The winner cruised in, fighting with her Norwegian flag the whole time. I was afraid it was going to make her fall and lose her gold medal. Jesse Diggins however crashed to the ground after the finish and didn't get up for minutes. Other competitors had to ski around her. Turns out she had food poisoning 30 hours before, but she gave everything she had and probably a little more.

[Drunk Monk]

"Just when I thought I was out, they drag me back in"

Finland skier suffers ‘frozen penis’ in bone-chilling Olympic cross-country race mishap
February 21, 2022 | Chris Donaldson | 

This year’s Winter Olympics have struggled to captivate Americans with the games taking place in communist China drawing a dismal viewing audience. But a bizarre story about an unfortunate member of Finland’s ski team has resulted in a rise in attention after news broke about the skier’s bone-chilling injury.
During this weekend’s cross-country skiing competition, Remi Lindholm suffered an embarrassing mishap when his penis froze during the race which took place in bitterly cold temperatures with winds that were described as “howling” and “freezing,” resulting in the Finnish athlete having to use a heat pack in order to thaw out his male member at the end of the race.
The incident reportedly took place at Zhangjiakou, located in the mountains northwest of the Chinese capital city where the majority of the skiing events were conducted and the 50 km mass start race that Lindholm was competing in had to be shortened to 30 km as a result of the frigid cold and windy conditions, according to Reuters.
“Lindholm spent just under an hour and 16 minutes traversing the course in howling, freezing winds, leading to his penis becoming frozen for the second time in a cross-country skiing race following a similar incident in Ruka, Finland last year,” the outlet reported.
After the race, Lindholm told Finnish media, “You can guess which body part was a little bit frozen when I finished (the men’s Olympic 50km race) …” Reuters reported, “it was one of the worst competitions I’ve been in. It was just about battling through,”
“When the body parts started to warm up after the finish, the pain was unbearable,” he added, explaining that he had to utilize the heat back to defrost his appendage.
As could be expected, the jokes practically wrote themselves as Twitter users rose to the occasion.
“There is a first aid procedure for curing a frozen penis but you don’t want to be the first person on the scene to help,” joked Dilbert creator Scott Adams.

'bone-chilling' is a pun that some bears won't understand... 

[Greg]

And you wonder why there is rampant stabbery?