Yosemite Backpacking 2019

[Drunk Monk]

Gawddamn my pack feels heavy. WTH? I packed the same as usual... Have I got that much weaker since I did this last? So it seems. 

[Greg]

I am totally ready for this trip.
Super ready.
So ready.
God, I am ready.

I known I've forgotten something.
Something crucial.
Something that stands between me and certain death.
It's probably sunscreen.

[Drunk Monk]

Sunscreen & bug spray goes in the bear can.

Temps ranging from the 90s in the valley to below 30s at Tuolumne - but that should be cold enough to kill off the mosquitoes up high.   No rain forecasted but heard that one before -  there’s always the microclimates.

[Greg]

I am off to a flying start. I head off to the park tuesday to meet up with DM who arrives today. I went to go clean out the car only to discover the battery was dead.

For years I have sworn there is an electrical problem with my car. But my mechanic has always said these cars just burn through batteries. He tested it numerous times to show there was no current flow when the key was off. But if I turn the slot that holds the key, I can get the radio to work.

So, dead battery. I pull up the Queen's car and jump start the Envoy with my frequently used jumper cables. It's much easier on a big driveway.

I get in for my drive around Raymond to charge the battery and I notice that I'm not getting any sound out of the speakers from my iPhone. I was going to listen to podcasts during my drive. I play with the buttons in an attempt to trick the radio into working. Nothing.

By this time it's getting a little warm in the car, so I push the button to roll down the window. (That sentence no longer makes any sense for kids who have never rolled down a window) No sound. No windows. Something is screwed up. I think if I turn off the car and quickly turn it back on, it might reset itself. Most mechanical things do respond well to prayers and rituals. I turn it off. I notice the screen on the radio is still working. It usually shuts off when the cars is off and the car door is open. All of these are true and radio continues to function.

When I stick the key in again, I notice the display says unknown driver. Usually it says Driver 1 or Driver 2 based on which set of keys I am using. Nope. Unknown driver. I turn to the key and nothing happens despite all the lights on the dashboard still being on. The windows still don't work. The radio continues to operate. What the serious fuck?

I go and get the other set of keys to the same result. Unknown Driver.

I press a lot of the buttons on the instrument cluster and on the door in the hopes my car will snap out of it and function.

I go online to determine if anyone else has had the unknown driver error with my make of car. Plenty of people. It's fuse 31. Replacing this fuse fixes that particular problem. I call an auto parts store in Oakhurst to see if they have those fuses. They might. It would be best to bring it in.

I make the roughly one hour trip to Oakhurst and back to get the fuse. At the O'Reilly parts store, I ask them to check out the fuse. The fuse works fine. I buy new fuses anyway.

I put in the new fuse and then go have lunch. I'm a little stressed out at this point. I'm not supposed to be playing with the car. I'm supposed to be packing for the Backpacking trip which I am in no way worried about. No way. Not even a little bit. Why should I be concerned that I haven't done this little endeavor in over 40 years? I'm sure it will be fine.

For the fourth time today, I jump start the car (One of the great features about jump starting the envoy is when the battery comes back to life it activates the headlamp washing fluid ejector. Standing over the battery is the perfect spot to get splashed by this). The Dashboard tells me I am driver 1, despite the fact I have the Driver 2 in the ignition. I'm not going to argue. The radio works normally. The windows open. I go drive around for an hour.

It's currently working. I'm going to check it again in the morning. If it works, I drive. If it doesn't, the Queen has offered to drop me off.

[Greg]

The car worked. The internet didn't. I'm at the Yosemite lodge waiting for DM and company. Our first stop is toulomne Meadows. Although, I just got a text from DM saying there been a slight change of plans....not ominous at all.

[Drunk Monk]

I disavow any knowledge of Greg’s bloody socks.

I should’ve given him his Rome book back earlier.

Otherwise, it was a grand adventure.

More to come...

[Greg]

I hate DM. I hate his travel plans. He should be in a ditch somewhere in the back country.

Or not. It's all still a bit hazy.

[Drunk Monk]

Was that a bear?

Oh wait. No bears here. I guess I don’t have to worry about the bear can and can go back to sleep.

[Greg]

Maybe you are suffering from Hyperphagia? I know I was.

[Drunk Monk]

hyperphagia!  the word of the trek!

that was a super cute bear. probably a yearline. he was smiling at his mom who i'm sure was standing right behind us.  and i had just opened a fragrant blueberry no b.s. bar...

[Drunk Monk]

I had the most fails of any backpacking trip so far. 
SEP 10: Altitude sickness resulting in a sharp headache, nausea and vertigo.  Then that night - my bag is rated to 30F and it went way below that. I imagined Greg and Nate wondered if this was how it was going to be every night. The next morning, my teabag froze to my sierra cup.
SEP 11: My flashlight, which I use for RM & JM, and refreshed batteries just prior to the trip, decided it only works at concerts and during the day. I thought it just froze.
SEP 12: Our water filter which we got in '97 died. Stacy thought Tara's friends were too hard on it last year during their backpacking trip in Desolation Wilderness. I broke a water bottle lid strap - one of Tara's bottles actually. 
FRIDAY 13: Both of my boots lost their soles. Left boot was only holding on by the toe; right toe and heel.  Stacy said she remembered me mentioning that one was getting iffy on a previous recent hike but I looked them over before I left and they were okay. Where the sole attached to the boot just corroded, maybe due to the cold? Strangely I lost another boot some two decades ago on the same trail. The nosepiece on my sunglasses also gave way, causing it to dig into my nose.
SEP 14: When we got to my car, we dumped our gear so Nate, being a boulderer, could check out the legendary Camp 4 at the base of El Cap.  The valley was super full with long lines and packed shuttles.  It was hot, like high 90s. I wasn't worried about bears because we were parked in such a high traffic area (right next to shuttle stop 1). Then I remembered that we left the fuel cans in our packs.  My car gets super hot in the sun, like in the 100s when it's only 80 outside, the pitfall of a black ride.  The shuttles were too packed so I dashed back to the car on foot - about a mile - with explosive visions.  I got back in time - the car was hot but nothing blew up.

Nevertheless, it was a great trek.  There were some truly magic moments - Yosemite always delivers.  

That morning frost on the field, twinkling rainbow refractions as the sun hit the ice - I've never seen that before and imagine the phenomenon was the inspiration for xmas lights.

And Greg's patriotic suggestion to make it for Ireland lake was inspired. I never would have gone on that detour and it was incredible - so pure and pristine, so stark and forbidden, so desolate.

And the bear.  Stacy and I took a short break on the trail and I had just opened a fragrant blueberry 'no b.s.' bar.  
S: there's a bear. [said quietly and calmly, as just like saying 'there's a pika']
G: huh?
S: a bear. over there.
G: what?
S: Do i have to say it three times?
I look to a log about 20 feet away and the cutest bear pops its head up and smiles at us.  A small bear.  A yearling maybe.
G: that's a baby bear.
We both think 'where's mom?' simultaneously and get the heck out of there as fast as we can.


I will carry those images in my mind forever.

Plus it was great fun trekking with Greg. We've come a long way from Denny's, right? Hope more of your pix turn out.  Looking forward to seeing them.  Stacy loved the burned forest pic, as did I.  That one is almost on par with Ansel. It's at least as good as Alan Ross.

[Greg]

Dammit. I'm pretty sure there was some mention about no bloodshed. This is the exact opposite of no bloodshed.

[Greg]

Backpacking in Yosemite 2019

Introduction

All I can think is DM must really hate me. He drags me off into the wilderness on some sort of “Adventure”. I freeze my nuts off. I poop in the woods. I lug thirty pounds of gear for endless miles that ruin my feet and strain my back. I eat terrible food. And I don’t get to bathe. For a solid hour, I hiked down hill over granite blocks, my eyes focused on my feet. I spent another endless hour walking through a desolate wasteland of burnt out trees under a burning sun. What kind of friend does that to another friend? A bad friend.

All I can think is DM must love me. He got my sorry ass off the couch and out to some of the most beautiful places on earth. The mountains soared. The brooks babbled. The cleans scents of nature surrounded us. For days there was nothing but us and our thoughts. I remember walking for an hour by myself through a sierra meadow surrounded by grey granite mountains. We hiked forever through a canyon with the Merced River next to us, cascading over one cataract after another. It still ended too soon. What kind of friend does that? A good friend.

Back in late June/ Early July, Dm emailed me to invite me to go backpacking with him, Mrs. DM, their Cub and their Cub’s friend hereafter known as Jersey. They were going to trek for five days through the Grand Canyon of Tuolomne Meadows. It sounded like an epic adventure. It also scared me.

I’m old. I’m fat. I’m out of shape. I like my creature comforts. I haven’t backpacked in at least forty years. There was a myriad of reasons to say no. Inexplicably, after about of week of rumination, I agreed to go.

I figured in the intervening two months, I would walk every day up and down my hills to get in shape. Eventually, I would start wearing my pack on these jaunts to get used to carrying the pack load. I did none of these things. I did walk the hills but not in the distances we would be hiking. I went out with the backpack twice, but not with a full load.

Yes, I did buy all new gear for the trip. A friend of the Queen’s runs a youtube channel about the latest and greatest camping gear. She forwarded me a link of what to buy. If I were Warren Buffet I could have bought a few of the items on the list. To be fair, I did buy the backpack they recommended. The rest of the stuff I got from going through listings on Amazon. I’m especially proud of my spork-knife I got at the Big-5.

I also spent the intervening days pondering the idea that I had made yet another tragic mistake. I didn’t want to be the guy on the hike that everybody hates because he can’t keep up or is always complaining about everything. But I was in the perfect position to be just that guy.

The days passed. Amazon packages arrived with amazing frequency. I acquired a sleeping pad, a sleeping bag, a Luci light for the tent. I got a tent and huge plastic bear vault to store my food in that reminded me of those 5 gallon water cooler bottles. The only thing I didn’t have to buy for the trip were my hiking boots.

One of the mysteries for the trip was what actual route we would take. Originally, we were going to hike up the Grand Canyon of the Tuolomne, but the heavy snows during the winter had wiped out two of the bridges along the trail. If we wanted to use that trail, we would have to ford the river through three feet deep water. That wasn’t really an encouraging option.

The back-up plan was to hike to the Vogelsang High Camp and then down into the valley along the Merced river. Looking at my guide book to hikes in Yosemite (another purchase) I noticed the Vogelsang trail went near a trail to Ireland Lake. I foolishly tossed out the idea we should go there if we went to Vogelsang.

I think my biggest fear for the trip was getting enough food. So, I bought a lot and completely jam packed my bear vault.


Naturally, there were problems, the biggest of which was my car going insane the day before I needed it to drive up to Yosemite. We also lost the Cub. She would not be joining us for the hike. But her maybe boyfriend, Jersey, would still be hiking.

What the what? I would never attend anything with girlfriend’s parents without my girlfriend in attendance. Much less go on a five day hike with them. Too weird. And yet that was the plan.

Finally the days until the hike were down to zero and I had to go. My pack was stuffed. I had tons of camera gear but not nearly enough camera gear for my purposes. I had a couple of shirts and some thermal underwear. The weather report called for clear skies but maybe chilly.

I was ready as I would ever be.

[Drunk Monk]

What kind of friend does that to another friend? A bad friend.
What kind of friend does that? A good friend.

What kind of friend?
A DOOM brother. 

[Greg]

Day 1 Tuolomne Meadows to Vogelsang Trail Junction

The day started at Yosemite Valley Lodge to pick up DM, Mrs. DM, and Jersey. I got better cell reception in the lobby than I got back in Raymond at my own house. It was good enough to receive an ominous text from DM that said “There’s been a slight change of plans”

Fortunately, it just meant that Mrs. DM and Jersey were taking a bus up to Tuolomne Meadows while DM rode with me. They were afraid that the Queen was dropping me off in her tiny civic and we all wouldn’t fit our gear into her car. I guess I should have been a little clearer about transportation.

DM and I had a great time catching up on the drive up. The last time I was up in Tuolomne, I was still dating Cheryl Zampedri..



We met our other two travelers at the Tuolomne Market. They had taken a tour bus up which stopped every few minutes for sight seeing so were only about five minutes behind them.
We found Mrs. DM getting lunch while Jersey was in getting his meal. At the table next to Mrs. DM were two gentleman who would be classified as homeless anywhere else in the world. But here they were hikers in the middle of a long stretch of hiking. The looked weathered and beaten from the trail. Later, when I took their picture at the trail head, I found out they were in the middle of doing the John Muir Trail. Or JMT as the cool kids call it.

We dropped the car off at the Tuolomne Meadows and headed out. I said a fervent prayer that my car would still start in a week’s time.



On the first day, we hiked almost six miles along the Lyle Fork of the Toulomne river. There were other hikers on the trail, but not many. We passed some horses. The backpack was heavy but not really onerous. I was lulled into the sense that this was going to be easy.



We passed a group of Koreans who looked like they were out for a casual stroll. As I learned from DM, it’s fun to ask people where they were coming from. The women I asked didn’t speak any English but she asked another member of their group. He told me they were coming from Whitney, as in Mt. Whitney. As in 128 miles of hiking. This was the groups seventh day on the trail. I no longer felt as cool as I thought about my backpacking.



We stopped for the night at the fork between the JMT and the trail to Vogelsang High Camp. We found a spot that had been previously used as a camp. There was a nice selection of rocks to sit on. I found a place to hang my water filter. I set up my tent and sleeping bag like a good little camper.

Another hiker came by and asked if he could camp hear us and share our little cooking/seating area. We said sure. He introduced himself as Jason. He’d been on the trail for 21 days. He had started farther south than Whitney. I was exhausted by the 6 miles I had walked to our camp.

I borrowed DM’s stove to make Ramen. The DM crew made chili, way too much chili. I ended up having some Chili, as well. They gave a significant portion of it to Jason.

I don’t know when DM started to suffer from the altitude sickness but you could tell something was off with him. He sat to the side and wasn’t really saying much. I'm sure he loved everybody asking him if he was okay.



Since our camp sat in the bottom of a narrow valley lined with steep hills, the sun went down fast and the temperatures dropped quickly. Jersey spent a lot of time finding pools of sunlight to stand in to keep warm. Because of the dryness of the area and the potential for forest fires, camp fires were prohibited. At about 7, everybody climbed in their tents to keep warm. 

Mrs. DM suggested that Jersey and I share a tent in order to have twice as much body heat warming the tent. Knowing how I sleep, I declined.  I didn’t want to punish Jersey by putting him in a tent with me.

I use the term sleep in the most general of terms. First, it’s 7 o’clock. That’s about two hours earlier than my usual bedtime. I read Gene Wolf’s Night of the Long Sun by the light of my Luci Light. But I didn’t read for long. It occurred to me that if I read at my usual pace, I’d finish the book that night and have nothing to read for the upcoming nights.

I settled in for a long night of trying to fall asleep.