my mom

[Drunk Monk]

That last bit sounds like Office Space: "That's my stapler."

I didn't watch enough fo that show for me to get that.  But there are many office supply battles in at TC.  For years, G2 would ask for a calculator and then keep it.  There were several years where I just got her calculators for gifts - it quickly descended into joke calculators.  The frustrating thing about that is she'd ask while at her computer with her phone, both of which have calculators.  I have a prized calculator - it's something my grandfather gave me, engraved with his name in a gold case.  I'm possessive of it.  I still give G2 calculators but covertly now.  My mom got sent one recently in one of those many donation parcel pitches and I slipped it on G2's desk just last week.

I should note that my cousin, the one who left his crap in my room, inherited our grandfather's house which is on a spectacular plot of land in HI with a river running through the back and a custom koi pond in the front.  He's just a little younger than me and never married.  Neither did his sister.  She had an astounding collection of Japanese anime DVDs, like stacked against the walls of a guest house on that property.  It's easily in the hundreds if not bordering on a thousand.  When we visited, I was intrigued by the selection, then I noticed that none of them were open.  All factory sealed. She collects them but doesn't watch them. That's my mom's side of the family.  It's OCD.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Yor fambly izz weerd.

[Drunk Monk]

Oh & yer fam is freakin normal?

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

No my fambly izz also weerd. We do akshully open our dvd’s tho.

[Drunk Monk]

Granted. She’s a corporate tax accountant. Not that it’s any defense. I asked her about it and she said they were all shows she watched when televised so she’s seen them and just liked to collect them. It was an insane collection of japanese tv series. I wish that was left at my folk’s house, not her brother’s Stanford notes.

[Drunk Monk]

Today was a re-eval by her second surgeon, so X-rays, then review with a PA and then a few moments with the actual surgeon.  It all went well.  The X-ray was intense.  The kypho is just a smushed blob and she's got six huge screws that look like 1" wood screws.  We'll have another check up in 6 weeks, then 3 months, then a year, or something like that.  Doc & PA liked her progress but she'll have to keep wearing her brace for another 2 months or so as a precautionary.

She's walking with her walker now and eating a little more - she's put 2 pounds back on of the 17 lost.  It's encouraging.

Next week, Stacy leaves for Tassajara so I have to work around home care with a smidgeon of help from my cousin.  Then next weekend is TCEC.  Then the weekend after that is Cali Roots, now under JAH Med, so I'm key as a transition lubricator.  And the following weekend is Dead & Co at Shoreline.  But this weekend, this Friday, I get to go home...and prepare and pack for the next three weeks.  

So many axes in the air right now.  I hope I don't drop one and chop off a toe.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

You have extra toes. 10 is a luxury.

[Drunk Monk]

You have extra toes. 10 is a luxury.

Brother, I don’t have extra anything anymore.

My mom’s house makes a lot of weird noises. I heard an alarm go off at 3am this morning, like an electric timer or something. Maybe I dreamt it. Maybe it was Greg texting about Fergus. I thought about posting here then but didn’t wake up enough to bother.

My mom is getting used to having caretakers do her bidding. She has said nothing to me beyond orders. I tried to talk to her about it just now and she conveniently got distracted by a bird outside. My cousin is coming to cover tonight because I have an appt in sf, but she’s usually nicer to him.

[Drunk Monk]

me: <sneezes>
ma: what was that?
me: i sneezed
ma: what?
me: I sneezed.
ma: bees? where?
me: No. I SNEEZED.
ma: what?
me: I SNEEZED!!!
ma: don't yell at me.

Right now it's sunny outside, raining in the front yard but not in the backyard.  That used to happen at my grandfather's house in Oahu all the time.  My mom is reading in the den.  I'm surfing the web, putting off my final packing for TCEC.  The rain really threw me off - didn't pack for that last Sunday.

[Drunk Monk]

It's been hard coming back from Cali Roots.  I'm already grumpy from exhaustion.  My mom complained about one caretaker because she couldn't make her 7am demands and has characterized her as not so bright, even though she's the best one at communicating with us and uses our notebook extensively.  So we moved to replace her, but we're left empty for this weekend, so I have to stay here.  I'm not happy about that at all.  Today she kept asking what was happening on the calendar because it was incomplete due to the switch.  She got really confused and denied wanting to replace that caretaker, then acknowledged it after I explained it to her. She started holding her head and saying she could not think clearly.  Very, very frustrating.  We haven't been able to replace that caretaker yet.  So once again, the schedule is in flux.

On top of that, she's had really bad back cramps.  It's making her gasp and moan like before her surgery, which is now a trigger for me. I get so angry about that, about this whole fucked up situation.  She was improving but now the pain has put her back in bed.  I keep asking if it feels like the pain she had before but she can't seem to explain it satisfactorily.  She says she thinks it's cramps due to the detox, but I wonder if that idea is something i put in her head with her earlier achy pain and nausea.  

Stacy and I had a fleeting chat this morning as she arrived to take over and I went to work.  We think we can sustain this for one more month.  After that, I'm not sure what happens.  Maybe we'll have to move her to a care center. It's hard to tell where she's at really.  She puts on a better face for guests, even for Stacy. But for me, she's deeply opioid brained.  

For the last two weeks, I've been home only about 10 hours or so.  And I won't get back home until the weekend after next. I spend a lot of time texting friends and surfing facebook. It's distracting.  

And now, I'm shifting gears for Dead & Co.

[Drunk Monk]

My mom is definitely declining again.  She was doing great but now these back and stomach pain flare ups have been really bad.  She's making those gasping noises again and that just triggers me.  The visiting nurse suggested we re-up her gabapentin because the detox might have been to much.  That takes about a week to clear from the system, so I really hope that's the issue and that my mom didn't re-injure her spine somehow.

[Greg]

Aarrrgggghhh

[Drunk Monk]

My mom has some pain but is too muddled to really describe it.  It isn't nearly as bad as when her spine was broken and it has moved from her abdomen to her back and now on her left side.  It'll take a week of loading for the neural med to kick in...so we wait.

There's some major school event happening at the elementary.  It's very noisy here - kids screaming.  My mom can't hear it at all.  Beyond keeping on top of my mom's meds and the fridge stocked, there's constant little things that need to be done around the house.  The upstairs toilet just jammed.  I'm hoping it'll loosen soon.  There some major weeds in the yard that I should deal with because they are starting to block pathways.  I thought about cleaning of the grave of our pets, but that's way too deep in the yard.  Maybe we'll just hire someone.

I'm sorting my stuff to move back to our bungalow. I was there for a few hours after TCEC and Cali Roots, but otherwise I've been here in Svale.  I got back on Monday night and will return tomorrow, Thursday. We have home care set up until next Tuesday night with Stacy coming on Friday and maybe Sunday.  I'm really looking forward to spending a few days at home. Looks like a sunny weekend. Gotta clean my camping gear today - put away wet after Cali Roots.

[Drunk Monk]

It was a good break. Thursday I got to that Mykal Rose show. Friday I slept. Saturday I got to Kung Fu class then met Stacy later downtown after her yoga class for street tacos.  Sunday Stacy and I got in a good 12+ mile hike at Nisene, but as soon as I got back, my mom called to say she was in pain. What a buzzkill.  I called her back later and she was feeling better. Yesterday was some odd SF errands including a nice lunch with the Maestro and the Shaft screener.  And now I'm back in svale in the sweltering heat.  

My mom has gotten so used to caretakers that we don't talk despite my efforts.  She just gives orders, some reasonable, some leaning to the absurd.  She's in pain again, despite the re-upping of her pain meds.  Now it is in her left hip and her wincing gasps are like before.  I'm worried that she broke something again.  A problem with osteoporosis is that even if her vertebrae are held together with screws, they are pinned to weak bones and might break again.  She's not eating well and not doing her exercises because the pain is too much.  We have a follow-up with her surgeon next week, including an x-ray.  

The upstairs toilet is still plugged. I was hoping it would free up on its own but no.  I will let it drain again and add drain openers tomorrow. 

I got up super early this morning to get to work super early because I was supposed to have a phoner to Jakarta and I hadn't got my recorders set up properly when I left last Friday because I had to pick up my mom's meds and drop them off.  In the hustle to get that done and get ahead of the commute, I forgot to get the recorder set up.  Still spent two hours to get home.  Of course, this morning, it turns out there was a miscalculation in the time conversion, so the phoner didn't happen at 8am. It'll be 8pm, about an hour away.  So I wait...

[Drunk Monk]

Here's a long overdue update, partially due to 'no news is good news' and partially my own denial.  I should really be writing right now, finishing my cover story which was flowing up until yesterday when it fizzled out.  So now I'm looking at my eternal nemesis, writer's block, and hoping to scale it by getting this out.

Today was another eval from the surgeon.  It went okay, except a she now has a dequbitus ulcer and I must get her some mepilex (trans - she's got a bedsore and needs some otc cushy bandaids). 

She's doing better, improving step by step. She's still in some pain, but it seems more like it's from arthritis complications.  She's no longer in a brace, walking with her walker and free walking with help (gait belt & PT).  We're slowly reducing her meds - her thinking is still addled partially due to age and partially due to being on opiods for like 8 months now.  She's determined however and is cutting her own meds, sometimes in defiance of her prescription.  We're down to one caretaker per day which is fantastic.  

I'm still here for two nights mid-week, spending one day telecommuting and doing her errands - groceries, cleaning, house maintenance - it makes for a very busy day on top of my telecommute.  I so miss telecommuting from the Cruz, writing in the local wifi cafe over cappuccinos & chai, avocado toast or lox bagels.  Now it's from my mom's living room with her barking out random orders and listening to TV at max volume - news, Ellen, Murder She Wrote, true crime shows.  

But she is improving.  And we've hit a strange sort of rhythm with it all.  At least for now.