my mom

[Drunk Monk]

Cool story, bro.  srsly.

I guess today went okay.  I caught up on a few things - replaced some critical batteries, got some supplies, donated some clothes from High School that were in my way (some black parachute pants - srsly - and several medium and small T-shirts). My mom and I had a talk about what might happen next, as if either of us have any idea.  But it was good to talk.  I spent most of the day in the living room, listening to a classic rock station and working on some ezine pieces, Pat's Captain Marvel review for tomorrow, a dangling Into the Badlands interview, some odd work jobs. My mom has these spells where she's just suffering, gasping, wincing and trying to find a position of comfort. Those are hard because there's so little to do - so I try to focus on the clock for when I can give her another pain med.  That's so hard to listen to - the suffering. It gnaws at my mind. 

Stacy suggested that she stay over on Sunday night so I can get back to the Cruz for a night, get some precious ocean air, and a little break. 

I'm most worried about the end of March, when I have lots of engagements - a major tournament, a trip for visit Tara, a concert. She's okay on her own for short periods, but she can't feed herself or medicate herself.  That requires a medical caretaker, or a trusted friend or family.  My cousin returns the week before, so he might help, but I'm not sure - they are returning from Spain and they are older, so they might not be up for it.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

What does insurance say about live-in care? Even a day-shift care would give you space/time. The conversation will eventually be about long-term care, either 24 hour live-in or selling the house and going into a managed care facility.

Options that include you two moving in with her probably won’t allow for your careers.

Easy for me to talk, I know, both my parents are gone and my big brother did all the heavy lifting.

[Drunk Monk]

Unfortunately my mom's insurance is basic so it only covers long-term care at a facility, not home care.

The optimistic outlook would be that she recovers enough to manage on her own somewhat, with limited home care.  That's what we're working towards.  She has to show more improvement.  Live-in care will be a more aggressive option.  And a live-in facility is the step after that.  There are other intermediary possibilities, but we're dealing with more immediate situations at this point, slowly trying to sort bits as they come.

[Drunk Monk]

Stacy suggested that she stay over on Sunday night so I can get back to the Cruz for a night, get some precious ocean air, and a little break. 

Well, this ain't happening.  Our contractor said he can do the work tomorrow and it's a two-day job, most likely.  I'm trying to figure out what to do with my mom.  The place I was going to take here - to her friend Rocky's - he went into the hospital.  He's blind and elderly.  His granddaughter moved in with him and they said my mom could still come by, but I don't see that really working at this point.  Besides I'm not sure what shape Rocky is in - he's been in and out of the hospital a lot lately and we don't want to impose on that.  There's a kindly neighbor, but the architecture of his home is the same as my mom's only mirror-image, so the issue with the bathroom and stairs is the same.  Besides we've been imposing on him a lot lately.  We'll probably move her into the living room.  It would be great I've I could get her upstairs to her own bedroom but getting her up and down that staircase in the chair would be torture - plus her bed is on the ground - something we did for my dad - so she wouldn't be able to get into her wheelchair from that. Yeah, it'll have to be the living room.

---

Oh never fucking mind.  Our contractor postponed to next Fri & Sat.  

[Drunk Monk]

I was losing it last night. Angry at everything. I was just exhausted so I went to bed early and actually got a decent night of sleep.  

Today has been quiet. My mom has been resting and reading. She's been in okay spirits, but still suffers pain surges when the meds wear thin. She's getting more forgetful - it's the opiods for sure. I followed up on some medical issues that still are unresolved, and cleaned house a little. 

I cleaned out my bureau and refilled it completely with T-shirts. I got so many damn T-shirts. And this is after dumped a large bag of T-shirts in a donation bin (for Fremont High no less, my alma mater).  Four drawers - random, martial arts, Rock Med, JAH Med+reggae. I was surprised how many RotR & SNWMF shirts I have.  I expected the amount of DOG & RM shirts. I was also surprised that I had so many OSL & earthdance shirts. I must've worked a lot of those. Mind you, this is overage.  I have two drawers of T-shirts at the bungalow, the ones in active rotation.

I chipped at the pile of stuff that came out of the closet. Didn't get far until I got angry again. My rage is just building because life is so frustrating and I haven't been able to vent at Kung Fu.  I thought about working out in the backyard, like I used to when I lived here 30+ years ago, but it's been too wet. The rains are getting to me too.  

Stacy is going to break me tomorrow night so I'll have an afternoon and night back at the Cruz. I can hardly wait. It's only been two weeks here but it feels like a life sentence.

I've taken to watching the sunset from the living room with a drink as I surf the web. I can hear my mom turning pages, and gasping when the pain surges. The rains have produced some nice sunsets, and the living room is positioned with an optimal view of the foothills. 

Sunsets. It's all about sunsets.

[Drunk Monk]

Monday night went poorly despite my all-to-short getaway back to the Cruz. I just couldn't cope for a while. I was hoping to get a little extra sleep because Stacy was relieving me later this morning, but my mom forgot the time change and called to wake me up.

Today Stacy met with PT, OT, RN & a home care provider while I was at work. I spent 40 mins on the phone chasing down the promised wheelchair - looks like we'll get a rental soon with a 20% co-pay.  Might as well just buy a better one, but we'll see how that goes. Thank goodness for the one Rock Med gave me, but it won't work for my mom on her own - it's the wrong kind of chair for that. Next week will likely be our last RN visit as my mom will be discharged from that.  PT went well apparently.  The home care provider, not so good. It'll be difficult to get affordable coverage. I'm fantasizing over a schedule where I only have to be here two weeknights per week. I'll have to sacrifice my cherished Cruz telecommute day to telecommute from Svale. But that's all wishful thinking right now.

Our contractor now says he's coming in on Thursday and Saturday and I'm not quite sure how I'll handle it with my mom. We'll probably just move her to the living room while construction is going on. Rocky's place doesn't seem like it will work at this point. My mom suggested that the contractor only make a small hole instead of a full door, just enough for her wheelchair to get through - she's not thinking clearly on all the meds.  Dreading Thursday but these things got to be done. I fear merc-in-retro plus the daylight savings will hit me hard. It's only Tuesday.

Still coping with suppressing my rage. At lunch today, I headed out to pick up some regular dose Tylenol because her pain med has some Tylenol in it and I don't want her to max out (her doc says 3750mg is her daily max, which seems really high). My go-to Rite Aid near my office closed - that whole strip mall is closed now, headed for demolishment and remodel I'm guessing, but that was news to me. Then when heading to Target, my phone blew up with various services trying to book tomorrow and Stacy reporting on progress. I should set up a striking pad in the warehouse - like a makiwara or something. I don't want to break anything, most of all not my hand. Been there, done that too many times...

We decided to cancel our trip to visit Tara at the end of the month. That breaks my heart but it's just not manageable at this time.

[Drunk Monk]

Oh what new hell mouth be this?

Our contractor is here.  He's done a lot of work for us on Castle MacBeth.  He's efficient and does solid work, although he's a bit pricey.  He's got a team of 3 other guys today.

They've sawzalled the wall and are knocking out the hole to give my mom access to most of the ground floor.  It's a supporting wall, so they're bracing it up.  The downstairs shower is next, and then hopefully, the garbage disposal in the kitchen.  

It's absurdly loud because it's construction and I'm telecommuting, so I can barely concentrate (which is in part why I'm here posting).

My mom had a really rough morning.  Intense pain. That was even harder to telecommute through because she was gasping from the pain.  I've moved to the living room.  She actually feel asleep but the phone just woke her up.  It's her friend, the one that we were going to stay with, but who was hospitalized (he fell).  He's back home now.  

Fingers crossed that this is all over soon.

[Greg]

Be a man. Replace your own garbage disposal. Get the bloody knuckles to prove it.

I will cross my fingers for you as well.

In your heart, you know, it never ends.

[Drunk Monk]

Be a man. Replace your own garbage disposal. Get the bloody knuckles to prove it.

Ha. Remember the last time I tried to do some damn plumbing?  Dammit Jim - I'm a publisher, not a plumber. That was like have a year ago and I'm still broken.  In fact, my tendonitis has got worse then ever, mostly because my practice has fallen to shit with all of this. I really need to get back to my daily regimen before this superbloom allergy season takes me down.  Tonight definitely.

They are finishing up the doorway now.  It's looking good.  Starting on the shower.

[Greg]

Plumbing always blows. Water stands at the ready to show how you failed.

[Drunk Monk]

It's done. Major kudos to our contractor. He was efficient and considerate of our situation.  

Plus the wheelchair arrived...finally! That was such an ordeal to secure.  It was promised to us weeks ago and Stacy and I spent hours on the phones chasing it down.

Now I need to install a new shower head with a hose (that I can do) and get a mat for the new entryway.  I'll leave for that as soon as my mom wakes up from her nap.  I don't want to disturb her and I don't want to leave her without her knowledge.

I even got a little writing done for work, and with a little luck, I'll get some more finished up this evening.  yay me.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Yay, you, indeed.

[Drunk Monk]

Went to sleep early last night.  Tried to catch up. 

In the middle of the night, my mom accidentally activated her vital link.  It's one of those emergency alarm pendants that we set up for her.  She must have rolled over on it or something.  They said that wasn't supposed to happen because it's allegedly difficult to trigger accidentally.  It set off a loud alarm and a caller came over the speaker asking what was going on.  The speaker is in the den, downstairs from where I've been sleeping.  So I ran downstairs and told them it was a false alarm.  I guess I'm glad to know the system works, except that my mom slept through the whole thing.  She had a vague notion that she heard something last night.  

I told her to take it off while sleeping from now on and then put it on if she has to get up to go the bathroom.  That's a bit tricky because she's still loopy from the meds and those late night bathroom trips, well, who is ever fully awake for those, right?  But that's also the time when the potential for a fall is high.  

I'm going to sleep tonight, dammit.  This weekend we've got nothing planned, so I'm just caring for my mom and cleaning house some more.  And napping.

[Greg]

Ha!

I accidentally tripped my mother's version of that device, but I got all the way to the fire engine's at the house.

Supposedly, the button was waterproof. My mother wore hers in the shower. Turns out she did not have the one that was waterproof. The button was completely rusted inside. She did have a spare, though. I was checking to see if it worked. It did! I didn't get the call. They tried to call Roberta but she was in class and couldn't get to her phone.

Voila´ we have first responders in front of the house.

Get some sleep. You'll enjoy it.

[Drunk Monk]

Cool story, bro.  srsly.

That's funny actually.  When was that?

My mom's is allegedly waterproof too, and there's a call list of several numbers beyond just Stacy and me, a great neighbor and my nearby cousin (who's actually in Spain now on a cruise).