Leo Indiana

[cranefly]

Lady Cranefly called me last night to see how things are going. I'm in Indiana visiting my mom and relatives. Things have not gone as smoothly as I would have liked. My mom's care is a weird hybrid of conventional medicines and questionable alternative medicines. The biggy is a nutrient powder mixed into a large thick fruit smoothie. Mom struggles every day to drink it down, and her lower GI tract is forever bloated and giving her discomfort. I dared suggest that maybe she should cut down on the amount. After all, too much fruit can cause bloating and gas and impair absorption. I got yelled at for my troubles by my brother in law, and now I've got him, my sister, niece and her husband all pissed at me for daring to criticize their approach. According to them, my mom needs to drink ALL of it every day or it won't do her any good.

I tell Lady Cranefly about this over the phone. She promises that when I'm old and feeble, she won't make me drink some large concoction like that every day. I tell her I would just appreciate it if she would promise never to photograph me nude in the shower stall and then stab me 15 times, drag me down a hallway into another room, stab me another 20 times, then shoot me in the forehead and dump me in the bathtub.

Lady Cranefly hesitates, then tells me that such a promise would impinge too much on her freedom of choice.

[Drunk Monk]

Sounds like the rest of your family is touchy about your mom's care - control issues are driving them to look for someone to blame. Tough situation.

such a promise would impinge too much on her freedom of choice.

What if she only shot you in the knee?

[cranefly]

A knee shot would be a fair compromise.

I'm back in Mountain View now. Things weren't as bad as I feared. I'm not shunned after all, and lines of communication remain open, if strained.

The big problem is that family members have been through thick and thin in caring for my mom, while I just happen to come back when she is having a good spell. So they feel I'm not seeing the big picture. I'd be more willing to accept that were it not for their fanatical trust in a woman I'll call Dr. D. This Dr. D diagnoses their problems by having them hold two metal rods connected by wire to a computer. Years ago she diagnosed my sister as having colon cancer, then gave her expensive concoctions that miraculously cured her. Some years back, Dr. D moved her practice from one county to another, and I suspect it was to avoid some litigation. But I'm speculating here. Dr. D's religion is JW, and a good chunk of my family has gone that way -- but not my mom, despite the Watchtowers that are thrust at her. From what I've seen, JW and crazy medicine bond easily. It seems a weird deficiency in critical thinking. My JW family members distrust the medical establishment and yet are oddly willing to believe in alternative approaches that lack a scientific basis or any real supportive data.

Mom went through a bad spell maybe six months ago. The JW part of my family decided she should undergo a 5-day liver flush. This is a stressful ordeal for anyone, let alone an 84-year-old woman. I didn't know this at the time, but she got so bad during the process that they hadn't expected her to make it through the night.

So, yeah, while I realize how hard they are trying to help my mom and how much they care, and how I'm not there to deal with the worst of it, still, their beliefs freak me out, especially when it comes to medical care; and I'm not about to climb aboard the Dr. D bandwagon. And I can think of a much better use for her metal rods.

[Drunk Monk]

You know my beyotch about feng sham here in the office. And that's just about organizing the space, not a family member's health. So it's computerized divining, is it? That would just drive me nutzo.

Here's a divining story, in hopes of cheering you up. I used to go to PA for this Taiji festival (you may remember) and there was this Cherohonkee (white dude claiming to be an Indian shaman) there - a total qi vampire. He was into divining too, of course, but without a computer, just the two metal rods. That was when I used to meet up with some of the TC TN boys there, and they would bring some top-shelf 'shine and a bottle of JD green label with my name on it. So we'd get sloshed and make fun of all the qi vampires and their victims. So the Cherohonkee whips out his rods and asks us if there's anything we'd like to know about anyone. One of the TN boys says "find out who has herpes". He says "who has a hair piece?" At that point, everyone on the TC payroll lost it. It was way too funny.

Hoping the best for your family.

[cranefly]

Well, I head for Indiana again tomorrow for a two-week stay. The big event will be an eye operation for a cataract.

My mom had the other eye done a few months back, and that eye now tests 20-20.
There's not much to the operation. The doctor will put her in a twilight sleep, or something like that.

The problem is, according to my sister, after the first operation, my mom had significant problems clearing her head for a week or two. The family doctor (whom I trust) says that at my mom's age (84), even a mild anesthetic can play havoc with one's mental function. So I'll be there for maybe 9 days after the operation to make sure she bounces back okay.

She's been doing marathons, by the way. The place where she's staying is encouraging everyone to walk more. There's a pond on the site, and four trips around is a mile. There have been days when Mom has gone 9 times around. Anyway, the goal was to do a marathon (26 miles) by a certain date. Mom is close to two marathons right now.

Walking comes with its risks. Mom uses a walker, and she's on oxygen 24/7. But the alternative has even greater risks. You dare not just sit around at that age.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

i hope all goes well for your Marathon Mom.

[Drunk Monk]

i feel ya, bro.

[cranefly]

Okay. So. Yesterday I polished tombstones. Mom bought Head Stone Cleaner, and we went down to the graveyard and cleaned Dad's (and Mom's, because she's got her place pre-marked), younger brother Greg's next to them (though he's not buried there, preferring cremation, but Mom wanted a marker regardless), then Mom's parents, and Dad's parents. Not certain the cleaner made much difference, but it is what it is.

Today I installed two new cushioned toilet seats in her double aprtmt.

As for local news, Mel (early 90s) fell while walking the pond. His cell rang, so he decided to sit down on the seat on his walker to talk, but forgot to put on the brakes. The walker rolled away as he sat down. Scraped up his arm, but seems okay. I helped an old lady who sat down on a bench but forgot to put the brakes on her walker, and it rolled down to the dock.

Mom's cataract operation is still on for Thursday. I called Obama, asked him to postpone Syria bombing until afterwards because the ground tremors could affect the operation. He kindly agreed.

Every night Mom unplugs her electric recliner, and every morning she plugs it in. It's not easy for her. I asked her why. She said she didn't know, but she answered forcefully, indicating she intended to continue the practice. I'm not about to question her further, as she's had more sense than me throughout most of her life.

Hot and humid today. Only four laps so far. She's up around 65 miles. The challenge ends in Sept.

I just ordered a pedometer for her off Amazon. The pedometers in the local stores are crap. Come fall and winter, she'll use it indoors. Fortunately, there's this hallway out her door worthy of The Shining.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

Good times.

If she had a computer linked to the internet, I would recommend a Fitbit (Yes, I am a shill for my fitbit overlords) It keeps track of steps as well as a host of other things on the computer. You can get a bracelet or one that clips on your pants pocket.

Fitbit

[Drunk Monk]

That walker brake incident sounds awful.

I've used pedometers. They don't quite work because they usually function by clicks, adding up what you set your measured stride to be. If might be more accurate to mount an odometer to her walker.

[cranefly]

I bought the Omron HJ-112 odometer, which got good reviews on Amazon. Am evaluating it now. It seems to require more button-pushing than I had hoped for. We'll see if Mom can adjust to it.

Both of your suggestions hold a lot of merit. Mom does have a computer with internet, so a fitbit might have been the better direction. As for DM's suggestion of an odometer on the walker itself, I need to look into that. I mean, she doesn't use the walker indoors. But to leave the apartment, she has to hook up to a portable oxygen unit, which requires the walker to hold it. So, yeah, excellent idea, and bound to be the most accurate.

Yes, it's nervewracking to see lots of elderly people using walkers and knowing they are one tiny mistake away from dire consequences. My mom opts not to take the hallway outside to a door, and then down the sidewalk to the pond; instead, she goes out her patio door, across a short strip of grass, into a parking lot and onward to the pond. I've suggested that she take the more even-surface route, but she'd rather not. It's more direct her way. But she has to fight the wheels over the lip of the patio doorway, the unevenness from patio to grass, again from grass to parking lot, and do it all over again upon her return -- and she's gotten good at it and uses due diligence. But you just know that if you do it a million times, there will be glitches.

Yet she's stronger than she's been in a couple years. And one has to balance the risks against the benefits.

[cranefly]

There's something very unsettling about entering a room where everyone is wearing an eyepatch. It's like attending a pirates' convention. But these weren't pirates, or at least I don't think they were. They were mostly white-haired elderly ladies with white eyepatches. I was hoping Mom would have the option of a black eyepatch, but nope. White for everyone.

The surgery appears to have gone well. She was home within a couple hours. The big struggle now is reminding her not to bend over, and to put a protective cap over the eye when she's going to nap or go to sleep. Also, she keeps forgetting when the check-up appointment is tomorrow, as well as other things. I've put up some signs on low objects (such as a small fridge) reminding her not to bend over, and another near her purse reminding her of the appointment time. Part of her memory problems are age-related, no doubt, but I still think a major portion is all the pain medicine she's on: a pain patch that is sky-high now, plus norentin and norco pills (or somethhing like that).

She's been wanting to walk the pond all day, but the doc wants her to take at easy today. Tomorrow she can resume the climb towards the summit. We'll take the North Face.

Only one person is ahead of her. His name is Bud. He was very heavy a year ago, pretty much confined to a wheelchair. A doctor finally got through to him, and he started dieting, and then he got into this marathon competition. Mom is around 70 miles. Bud is at 80 miles and slowly pulling away -- because he does 8 laps (2 miles) a day. But he doesn't walk on Sundays, which is a great time for Mom to make up ground. Also, Bud just hurt his foot, I think because of worn-out shoes. He's got new walking shoes now. Not certain the state of his foot. But I'm just blathering now. This has been great for both of them.

The competition ends in late September. Entrants had to pay 10 bucks. Rumor has it that the prize will be a t-tshirt.

--cranefly

[Drunk Monk]

Sounds like a good facility in general.

When I was in Bodh Gaya, where Buddha was enlightened, there was a charity eye clinic. People came from miles around and the whole town was full of eyepatches. That was especially ironic, given the setting.

How is your mom doing mentally? Any side effects from the operation?

[cranefly]

My sister had told me that Mom was very confused for maybe a week after the first operation, as if she had trouble emerging from the "twilight sleep" they put her in. This time she emerged much more clear-headed, even remembered the doctor talking to her during the operation, though she wasn't certain what he talked about. She was much more alert in post-op, ate everything they put in front of her, was even hungry when we got back to her apartment.

But the day after has been tough. She's been very tired, slept for a couple of long periods of time, has little appetite, hasn't felt up to walking. A cataract operation is so minor, it hardly seems invasive. Yet for someone 84 years old, even such a minor surgery may be taking a toll on her. Also, she's not noticing any real difference in her vision, though the checkup this morning shows her operated-on eye rising to 20-30. Not certain what that means -- that she's not noticing much difference in her reading.

She does have trouble remembering post-op care -- so I'm making sure she puts the two different drops in every four hours -- separated by five minutes. I also just filled her one-month mega pill box. It's an ominous undertaking, putting the correct pills in the right slots for morning, noon, evening, night over a period of 30 days. Actually we can only do 15 days at a time, because for some of the prescriptions you can't get enough pills for a month. We have tried reducing her pills through a very good family doctor. Now we'd like to do another round, see if we can reduce them even more. It's crazy how she went to some specialist a decade ago and got a prescription for something, and the prescription persists to this day, while we're not certain it's relevant any longer. Sorting through all these medications could be an industry unto itself.

We may go for a walk in a bit, but clearly this is hitting her harder than I was hoping it would.

[cranefly]

Now there's an emergency on the home front. Our cat Halvah escaped last night. LC is frantically trying to find her. Not much I can do from Indiana. Halvah is tiny and deaf, with not much sense of direction.

I just sent her a rough flyer that she can modify and start posting.

Sigh...