EL REY

[Drunk Monk]

Actually my hotel room is quite nice - two queen size beds, towels for three, decent tub, okay spa products. I'm just getting crappy neighbors because it's a sketchy casino. But there's always a nice car out front. Today was a Ferrari.

Finished my war room scenes including the one with Robert & Rebel. Rebel is cool, a young Weapon nerd. He's the one who told his dad about the web show and got this all rolling. Food has been really good. Everyone is very supportive. I got to train Marko in katana because he's not really a weapons guy. Doesn't look like I'll have to cut but my advice was on point. 

We are now doing Weapon tests. This is the fun part. I'm just witnessing and advising, coaching from the sidelines, backseat destruction enabler. It's like the job I've trained for all my life.

[Drunk Monk]

I was the only one in every scene today aside from Danny. Two final war room scenes and three weapons tests. Had a heartbreaking Weapon break already due to user error. And blood has been drawn sending one stunt person to the hospital for stitches. But I got to coach Marko on katana and wind fire wheels. Turns out he's not a weapons guy. 

I didn't have to cut but I did my modified Tiger hook form with the wind fire wheels - went okay. Had one stall which should come out not the edit. Tomorrow I have the Ji test first thing and then I'm done for the day. 

Very surreal to spend the day in a wrecked warehouse full of weapons while it was pouring rain outside.

[Drunk Monk]

Godammit. I really need to sleep. I'm so spent. And tonight, no noisy Cantonese or drunk chicks. But I'm tweaking something fierce - my whole body is vibrating. Must be the damn equinox. I gotta be back on it in 6 hours. But I'll be off before lunch and then I can just nap in my trailer. 

But still, sleep please take me now.

[Drunk Monk]

I did my scene with the Ji, but didn't do the form. I might still have to do it later. They have a lot of content for the Chinese ep already and that's the premiere ep.

A master of Gatka (a Sikh art) just arrived to work with an Indian urumi. He lived in Fremont. Srsly.

It's been a day of chopping and stabbing. Danny Trejo is a beast. He's been nailing his cuts and thrusts better than the stunt people. He's really funny, always cracking jokes and laughing, and every once in a while, pulling out his Machete screwface just to fuck with people. Simply put, Trejo is bad ass.

[Drunk Monk]

No need to tell us what this is about.  I can guess.

And all I can say is, It's about time you got your big Tat-Mau Wong break.

Can't wait to see you hosting those Thursday night film presentations.

Let me know if you need a silly sidekick.  I've got a clown suit I've been dying to take for a spin.

This El Rey ride is getting crazy. So I've told you that this is about Man at Arms and a few of my costars. That was really it for launching this thread but today even more manifested. CF may have prophesized correctly.

 I thought I was done for the day and then they pulled me to the back for a separate shoot - some soundbytes to promote the show and they liked it enough to shoot me saying each word of those most sacred of titles one at a time while doing Kung Fu moves. Those that ride with El Rey know...
flying+five+finger+one+armed+eight+pole+shaolin+exploding+death+touch
El Rey riders know the promo. 

They liked that so much that they said tomorrow they would like me to host a Kung fu movie. But I just got an email to me and Marko that we might host something together, another film, although not a Kung fu film, one of my favs. Here's a hint: baseball furies. 

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Every day has been a surprise. I never knew ballistic dummies had such low melting points.

I RIDE WITH EL REY

[cranefly]

Well, I won't claim to be prophetic, but I could see this well within your abilities; and once you start mixing with crazy Hollywood types, they just might see it too.

Things just keep getting interestinger and interestinger.

[lady_cranefly]

You guys are totally stealing from "This Old House."  You should be ashamed.

[Drunk Monk]

Its more of a mash up of Ultimate Warrior with Big Giant Swords & Forged by Fire with a dash of Mythbastards. Ilya, the Baltimore Knife & Sword craftsman who really should be featured more on the show because he is the most knowledgeable on his impressive creations, is a former winner on Forged by Fire (and has shared a few choice bts tales on what assholes they are).

As for crazy Hollywood types, well, we all know how crazy that can get from Greg's trench tales. It's a surreal world to be sure, somewhat parallel to the music industry (in fact, the sound guy Bob has old ties to BGP) but still, Hollywood is so very unique. The directors want to tell a story with the show, and while they've done a lot of web research, they have ventured into a field that's not well explored on the interwebz, or should I say quite misrepresented. Many of the weapons being tested are highly specialized so the tests aren't really appropriate and we aren't given enough time to train the stunt people. There was talk of bringing a live horse to the set to test a bow, but shooting arrows off horseback is a very special skill so it'll take more than a horse. It's like giving a bunch of freshly licensed teens ferraris. There will be some expensive crashes. 

In the end, like always, it'll all come down to judicious editing. They're getting some great material. They just need to trim the branches to get an aesthetically pleasing bonsai ... of maybe a topiary toro.

Ah, my alarm just went off. Time to get up, run some qigong and hit day 4 of 5.  

Until next time...Stay Sharp!

[Drunk Monk]

Greg, you failed to mention the rendering slaughterhouse in Vernon. The wind changed today and the sketch warehouse now smells like that stretch of Hwy 5. It's adding to the viscerality.

[Greg]

I did mention it! And it's not a slaughterhouse. It's where the euthanized animals from the pounds are gathered. You probably didn't want to know that.

[Drunk Monk]

The wind changed back so we're no longer coping with the coalinga cologne. And the ballistic dummies have been a bust. That's such a racket. So we just got a truckload of halved pig carcasses.

[Drunk Monk]

I totally missed on two sword thrusts. Ballistic dummies are made for bullets, not swords. I was angulating to get around some armor and get into the blood pack and got too close to the breast plate. TWICE! Thankfully the sword was well made and I didn't mack up the point. Hopefully they can edit it to tightening it up.

And of all days...Thursday. 

Flying five finger one armed eight pole Shaolin exploding death touch Thursday.

So bummed. Here I was working my Kung Fu and battojitsu and I should been refreshing my fencing. 

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

It's all in the wrist...and the editing.

[Drunk Monk]

In my 20/20 hindsight, it was indeed my wrist failure. I did the first pass ok blood the ballistic dummy yielded no blood from the cuts and the head fell over, evading my lungs. My reprise caught the throat and popped out the top of the fallen over head, but it was away from the camera, and little blood. Marko said to do more of an angulation, to heighten the drama. That was my original intention, but I balked on the left because the sword was heavy and I felt insecure. So the second take, my first thrust was true but drew little blood. My second caught the armor. My third, true again but little blood. Upon shifting to the other side I caught the armor again. Then another shot, not much blood. Then I caught the face straight on, tearing it up and pulling out red hemp stuffing. Turns out there was no blood pack in the head. Crap. But the stuffing from the face was suitably dramatic.

On the upside, I got to say 'I RIDE WITH EL REY' for the cameras. Hope that gets aired.

Tomorrow is the big finale, then a late flight home.

[Drunk Monk]

The final test is massive. I also have some El Rey stuff, then I'm back to being me - not the 'talent'. Trejo is awesome. There were horses on set today and he immediately connected because he has worked with horses in so many westerns and loves animals. He is the epitome of BAD ASS.