My Family

[Greg]

Correction. It's a defibrillator not a pacemaker. During the ablation the doctors discover Ventricular Tachycardia in the Queen Mother. The Tachycardia could have killed her at anytime.

[Drunk Monk]

Hope that helps. Sounds intense.

[Greg]

The Queen has departed for Florida on an emergency basis. She got a call yesterday from M-i-L neighbor that M-i-L was on her way to the hospital with signs she was having a heart attack. The Queen caught the Redeye out of Fresno and should be in Florida by now. The last call the Queen received was that her mother's was being released from the hospital. But it was telling that M-i-L didn't put up too much of a fight that the Queen was on her way.

To be continued.

[Drunk Monk]

Oh no. Hoping for the best…

[Greg]

The Queen has landed. M-i-L feels she needs to go back to hospital. Really happy the Queen will be there as her advocate.

[Greg]

Update. No heart attack. All her heart valves are good and the built-in pacemaker is doing what it should. However, the Queen Mum came with a UTI coupled with a wee touch of the Bronchitis which just knocked her for a loop. QM is home now and the Queen will be returning to the Land of the Lair on Saturday.

[Drunk Monk]

Good to hear.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

Yay!!

[Greg]

Trip to Mom’s July 18, 2024

The report from my mom’s doctor said her heart valve has reached critical condition. My sister Stephanie translated that to mean she could die in her sleep at any time.

Back in June, Roberta asked me when I could (or if I could) come up to fix some facia on the outdoor shed I built in the side yard. I figured I would come up on mom’s birthday to solve a lot of little issue. Score points in the never ending game of family politics. To jump to a wholly new metaphor, I would also bleed the pressure valve on my mother’s reservoir of insanity. I also wanted to rehang the refrigerator door sister Stephanie had bought. It doesn’t swing the proper way to access from the kitchen and when I was up for TCEC 2024, it drove me mental, among other things at the house. Like why wasn’t there any butter in the Fridge?

I drove up a bit early to do the shed repair before we went out to lunch. I got a call earlier in the week asking if my mother’s friend Katy could come along with us. Katy is a Qi Vampire of the highest order. If she came along there would be no reason for any of us else to talk. But it was my mom’s birthday so she could invite whoever she wanted to invite.

Of course the plans changed. I had to pick up my sister on the way because her boyfriend was using her car for the day. Roberta had planned to Uber to the house but that seemed like a stupid idea when I was driving near her house on the way to Saratoga.

My two minute job to nail the facia back on to the shed became something bigger when I saw that someone else had removed most of the facia and the gutter from the side of the shed. Leaving bits and pieces of rotted broken facia still on the shed. My jobs for the day now included a trip to Home Depot for a replacement board.

As you all know, it has been desperately hot in most places in Northern California in the month of July. (Shut up, Coastal residents and SF Dwellers) I was thinking I would bring my portable AC unit down with me to set up in mother’s bedroom to keep her cool at night. I abandoned that idea when my sister told me she had tried to bring in a little swamp cooler for my mother’s caregiver’s room. And before I go on. There is no A/C in mom’s house. We never really needed it growing up. It’s only become bad in the last couple years. I wonder why?

My mother lost her mind at the sight of the cooler. How dare my sister bring something into the house my mother didn’t okay? Doesn’t Roberta know how much my mother hates air blowing on her? The swamp cooler was returned. This led me to not bringing up my portable A/C unit for the house.

My mother, sister and I are in the kitchen when my mother decides she has something to tell us. Never a good sign. She tells us from New England and in New England they don’t have fans. And they don’t like people bringing stuff into their homes. I kind of tuned out. I hate when my mother talks down to us when she wants to explain her bad behavior. Plus, I think I know she grew up in New England. I wonder if she remembers I grew up in New England?

The upshot of her speech is she is now onboard with the AC units in people’s rooms. She wonders how much it will cost. She wants to get three; one for her bedroom, one for the caregiver’s bedroom and one for the kitchen. Someone will have to go to Home Depot and get them. Someone will have to install them. Fuck. I really was trying to leave by 2pm, 3pm at the latest to skip traffic. And we still hadn’t gone to lunch at Holder’s yet.

Before we can leave, Katy needs to show up. We were supposed to leave by 11:30 I also know it takes a long time to get my mother from the house to the car. I tell Roberta, she and I should go to Home Depot while they wait for Katy. I am told Katy will be there any minute.
Narrator: Katy was not there any minute.

I do however tell my mother to start making the fifteen minute journey to the car. She would but she needs a bathroom break. Katy eventually shows up. She tells us she was told she could up between 11:30 and 12. She also explains she had to come all the way from South San Jose. I told her I came all the way from Raymond. That kind of threw her off her stride. More time passes as my mother makes her way down to the car. Roberta agrees we could have gone to Home Depot first.

Holders is a small chain of diner type restaurants. One branch used to live in the old Denny’s across from the Home Depot on Saratoga-Sunnyvale where we spent many nights. But that burned down a while back and plans are still being worked out to rebuild it. We ended up at the one on Saratoga.

We went in separate cars so I could take Roberta home and then go run my errands. It’s about a five minute drive up Prospect and then up Saratoga from the house. Roberta and I still waited fifteen minutes for my mother and company to arrive after we arrived at the restaurant. I could hear the clock ticking the entire time. I wasn’t getting out of here and back to Raymond before 3pm.

Katy played story topper the entire meal. Everything we had done, she had done better. She told us about rescuing a kitten in Miami, FL and bringing it home to a shelter here in California. We had stories from her about Raging Waters and her daughter’s struggle to have a baby. Katy also likes to show pictures from her phone. That happened a lot, but less than usual according to Roberta.

We left early after paying the check. More kerfuffle as Katy wanted to pay her bit. We are not that cheap. I dropped Roberta at her house and went to Home Depot.

I’ve worked construction a long time. I know not to go to Home Depot in the afternoon. Go at 6am when they just open. Yet there I am at Home Depot at 2pm. It wasn’t too bad but still more people that I was comfortable with. I grabbed the three AC units and the boards I needed and got the hell out of there as fast as I could.

I arrived back in Saratoga to find my mother and friends still trying to get out of the car. Katy runs up to tell me there has been a problem getting out of the car. I walk over. The caregiver is standing by the passenger door with the wheel chair ready. My mother is in the passenger seat. My mother is pissed that the caregiver has dropped her.

I don’t see it. I just see my mother in her seat. Katy had mentioned something about falling over the center console. Again. All I saw was my mother in my seat. I looked at my mother and my caregiver and told them I didn’t have time for this nonsense. Work it out and get into the house.

I lugged the three hundred pound AC units into the house. I only had to to go up one flight of stairs for the kitchen unit. But two flights of stairs for the upstairs units. My mother was kind enough to tell me to be careful as I was dragging the units in.

Before I installed the AC units, I went to the side yard and put the new facia piece on the side of the shed. Couple of cuts. A bunch of screws. I got redwood so it wouldn’t rot. But I didn’t have time to put the gutter back on. People will just have to get wet.

Putting in the AC units was pretty straight forward. I had to swap out the wall plugs because they were only two prong and I needed three prong. There is a plastic piece you put in the window to vent the hot air. That took a bit of fiddling. I had to put on some weather strips. I realized later I should have attached those to the plastic bits but I put them on the window. All good. The AC units work. I thought the caregiver was going to kiss me when I showed her the AC unit in her room. She was finally going to be able to sleep at night.

The final unit was in the kitchen where my mother now sat. Being in the same room with my mother means she wants to chat. I said no and kept working. I also realized the kitchen AC unit had been opened before and sealed back up again. It was a return. Not all the pieces had come back with it. And the reservoir was full of water. Fuck Home Depot. I made it work.

It was closing in on 4pm by now. I’m sweating big bullets. My shirt is drenched. I figure I can finish fixing the refrigerator and still be on the road by 4pm. I do that. It’s a simple fix. I overhear my mother on the phone telling my nephew how impressed she is by how hard a worker I am. It’s like she’s never seen me work. She also wants to tell my about the construction work my nephew has going on at his house. I have no time for that.

I finish the refrigerator hang. It’s 4. I am done and heading home after working like a mad man.

I say goodbye to my mother and wish her happy birthday. She has one more thing to ask me.

“Greg, did you finish the shed?”

Those are the last words I heard before heading to the car.

The traffic started the second I got on the freeway. It stopped at Casa De Fruta. I think I had one stretch where I went as fast as 50 mph.

I’m never going back there again.

[Drunk Monk]

Calling BS on that last line.

Should we start a toga pool for Greg?

[Greg]

Well, there is Jake's......

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

You'll go back at least one more time.

[Drunk Monk]

Well, there is Jake's......

But did you go to Jake’s? I offered to join you. And that was the narrow window when we might’ve shared a pepperoni pizza…

---

You'll go back at least one more time.

I wasn’t going to go there so bluntly. 

But yeah…

[Greg]

You'll go back at least one more time.

I'm not going down that road.

But, yeah.

[Greg]

Let's go back to the ER!!!

My mother has shortness of breath (related to her critical heart-valve condition) and diarrhea for the last ten days. Her doctor told her to get to the ER immediately. She might be released to a rehab place today if they can get her oxygen levels back up. The usual.

Unusual Number 1. Everyone she has come in contact with during the procedure from paramedics to ER doctors, she has told she is being abused by her care giver. Supposedly the care giver pushed her while putting her on the commode. Adult Protective services will now be paying a visit to the house and the police have been talking to the family. I am supposed to get a call as well. The only problem is this is patently false. There are cameras in the house for this very reason. My mother makes these claims because she is currently upset with the caregiver and wants to make her life miserable. Good times!

Unusual Number 2. My cousins from Massachusetts were in town for a visit. They don't know about the abuse allegations. They came up to the Lair on Thursday but called me beforehand thinking I was going to rush to Saratoga to see my mother in the ER. They were a bit perplexed by my blasé attitude towards the ER visit. I've been on this Merry Go Round a long time.