03-22-2022, 06:16 AM
The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2022)
Remember how good The Hitman's Bodyguard was? This is the opposite of that. Whatever secret sauce was used in the first one was not used in the second one. There was a strong feeling of let's just blow shit up because people like that sort of thing. Which I agree with to a certain extent. But this film has some of the stupidest plotting known to man. And all the actors act like they are infants with really tiny motivations. Deadpool wants his Bodyguard license back. Nick Fury needs to be rescued from Interpol. Frida desperately wants to start a family. Meanwhile PussNBoots wants to destroy Europe for the way they have treated Greece as a member of the EU. Except PnB has a strong Spanish accent for a Greek Oligarch. So there is a thing where they need to get the briefcase to the guy or someone will explode and then they have to stop the thing from uploading the code that will unleash the malware which will destroy everything. There are explosions and car chases and torture sequences and narrow escapes and it all was very tedious. Lots of whining from Deadpool. Lots of swearing and boobs from Frida Kahlo. Lots of Nick Fury waiting for the day to end so he could go play golf. Lots of mustache twirling from PnB.
So bad. One short sword fight, though. Still not worth it.
Remember how good The Hitman's Bodyguard was? This is the opposite of that. Whatever secret sauce was used in the first one was not used in the second one. There was a strong feeling of let's just blow shit up because people like that sort of thing. Which I agree with to a certain extent. But this film has some of the stupidest plotting known to man. And all the actors act like they are infants with really tiny motivations. Deadpool wants his Bodyguard license back. Nick Fury needs to be rescued from Interpol. Frida desperately wants to start a family. Meanwhile PussNBoots wants to destroy Europe for the way they have treated Greece as a member of the EU. Except PnB has a strong Spanish accent for a Greek Oligarch. So there is a thing where they need to get the briefcase to the guy or someone will explode and then they have to stop the thing from uploading the code that will unleash the malware which will destroy everything. There are explosions and car chases and torture sequences and narrow escapes and it all was very tedious. Lots of whining from Deadpool. Lots of swearing and boobs from Frida Kahlo. Lots of Nick Fury waiting for the day to end so he could go play golf. Lots of mustache twirling from PnB.
So bad. One short sword fight, though. Still not worth it.
As a matter of fact, my anger does keep me warm