The Olympics

[Drunk Monk]

"Just when I thought I was out, they drag me back in"

Finland skier suffers ‘frozen penis’ in bone-chilling Olympic cross-country race mishap
February 21, 2022 | Chris Donaldson | 

This year’s Winter Olympics have struggled to captivate Americans with the games taking place in communist China drawing a dismal viewing audience. But a bizarre story about an unfortunate member of Finland’s ski team has resulted in a rise in attention after news broke about the skier’s bone-chilling injury.
During this weekend’s cross-country skiing competition, Remi Lindholm suffered an embarrassing mishap when his penis froze during the race which took place in bitterly cold temperatures with winds that were described as “howling” and “freezing,” resulting in the Finnish athlete having to use a heat pack in order to thaw out his male member at the end of the race.
The incident reportedly took place at Zhangjiakou, located in the mountains northwest of the Chinese capital city where the majority of the skiing events were conducted and the 50 km mass start race that Lindholm was competing in had to be shortened to 30 km as a result of the frigid cold and windy conditions, according to Reuters.
“Lindholm spent just under an hour and 16 minutes traversing the course in howling, freezing winds, leading to his penis becoming frozen for the second time in a cross-country skiing race following a similar incident in Ruka, Finland last year,” the outlet reported.
After the race, Lindholm told Finnish media, “You can guess which body part was a little bit frozen when I finished (the men’s Olympic 50km race) …” Reuters reported, “it was one of the worst competitions I’ve been in. It was just about battling through,”
“When the body parts started to warm up after the finish, the pain was unbearable,” he added, explaining that he had to utilize the heat back to defrost his appendage.
As could be expected, the jokes practically wrote themselves as Twitter users rose to the occasion.
“There is a first aid procedure for curing a frozen penis but you don’t want to be the first person on the scene to help,” joked Dilbert creator Scott Adams.

'bone-chilling' is a pun that some bears won't understand...