Thread Hijacking

[cranefly]

Oct. 23, 2006:
Greg says:
So, I'm wearing my gloves while operating the sawzall. It's a reciprocating saw with an eight inch blade. Brand new. Fresh out of the package sort of blade. I only realized after I pulled the trigger that I was actually holding the blade rather than the guard. I tell you there is nothing funnnier than watching Greg hop around screaming.

This sticks in my mind; it's a timeless warning to all to always be attentive and cautious.  Think twice -- naye, three times! -- before hitting any button, trigger or switch.

Nonetheless, even in the most mindful, eventually one forgets, has a lapse...

So today I'm making lemon meringue pie.  You know, trying to regain some of the 15 pounds I lost in the jungle.  I've tried making lemon meringue pie maybe six times in my life, and not once have I gotten the meringue to work.

But I've been studying.  I know all the mistakes I've made.  This time I avoid even a speck of yoke, it's all eggwhite.  And I beat it on high until peaks appear, and then I slowly add sugar, continuing to beat.  After about 5 minutes I've got an impressive half bowl of stiff meringue and I shut the mixer off.

Tilting the blade up, I admire the superglob of meringue on it, all ready to put on the lemon pie inches away.  It's time to remove the blade.

So I reach for the release button only instead I turn the mixer on full blast.

Meringue all over my shirt, pants, cupboard doors (an impressive ricochet), floor, and counter.

I go to bed shaking, in a cold sweat, as my meringue gently weeps.