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snails and slugs
#4
I checked my garden again this morning. There were another 15 or so flexible girls in my beer traps. I rounded them up and packed them into my Prius and headed for the Society for Providing Flexible Girls with Backbones.

I should have put them in a cage, because they were all over the car. It's a wonder I didn't have an accident. Then, when I got to the Society for Providing Flexible Girls with Backbones, wouldn't you know it. There was a line of 30 cars. It's that time of year, you know.

Anyway, while waiting, I played Twister with the flexible girls. That turned out to be a big mistake. I mean, there's no way you can win. Still, it did have its sensual elements. The problem is, I just never could let go of the knowledge that they had eaten all my zucchini plants.

Flexible girls didn't use to be a problem. It's all drunk monk's fault. Him and his vegetarian preachings. Back in my day, flexible girls stayed where they belonged: out in the fields with the cows, in the coops with the chickens, in the pens with the hogs. But not anymore. Because of drunk monk and his evil ideas, I have to deal with flexible girls every morning.

Every. Single. Morning.

--cranefly
I'm nobody's pony.
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