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well, that kinda worked for one deep sleep cycle. went down quickly just after posting above. woke up gemtly and lay quietly for a few minutes until reality crept back in and then it was such a brutal punch in the gut of adrenaline that my body flinched. that was a little after midnight.
still felt some of the melatonin and was hoping to ride it back to sleep but it's been about two hours with no luck. tomorrow i should take it for the second cycle instead of the first. i got max dose 10s, and now i think i should've got 5 to split up the dose over the night. theyre powder-filled capsules so they don't cut well.
been getting the usual anxiety waves and brain circus. man, this sucks.
day 52
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I did manage to get another sleep cycle in and slept until an hour or so ago. Two cycles. Yay. I need my sleep - this is all about staying healthy.
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Agreed.
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
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Stacy's done an extraordinary job taking care of me while Kondo-ing the crap out of the shed, the backroom and the kitchen. She enjoyed sanding and re-oiling the butcher blocks and a cabinet and did a superb job. She asked me to make a stand for her Balinesian puppets. I had a piece of scrap wood that worked perfectly and they look happy again, except for the one villain who already has his own stand. It ain't no serenity space, but making it gave us both joy. We went for a quick walk to the beach, just to look, not walk on it. The Cruz was beautiful tonight and there was something refreshing about catching that whiff of marijuana coming from one of the sunset watching cars, like when things were right with the world.
I'm feeling a little better physically. Last night's sleep, as broken as it was, did me wonders. Two cycles were luxurious. I'm going to put off my melatonin dose to as late as possible in hopes that it'll get me past that late night hump. I'm going to watch something else mindless next, just to keep myself distracted.
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Sounds like a good evening. Living by the sea = sanity
In the Tudor Period, Fencing Masters were classified in the Vagrancy Laws along with Actors, Gypsys, Vagabonds, Sturdy Rogues, and the owners of performing bears.
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Day 53: Mother's Day
Got some fair sleep last night. Watched Big Fish while nodding off until around midnightish then went to sleep fairly efficiently. Woke at 3, popped a melatonin and was down again within the hour although it wasn't that deep, the pitfalls of sleep aids sometimes. Still feeling a little melatonined but awake. Gonna count that as two cycles.
Laundry day today. Maybe I'll work on my tools in the shelf. Stacy cleaned the rest and left that for me.
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I was still drowsy from the melatonin and it's cold and grey so I went back to bed and grabbed a bit more sleep. Started laundry. Listened in on Tara's call to Stacy. Gotta call my mom next.
Been contemplating pulling all my articles down from KFM just to store. It's daunting...a lot of copy&paste.. I don't know how many there are, less than a 100 I think.
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I've published over 250 articles on KFM. Damn.
I messed with my social media a bit, activated some switches like the LinkedIn local job offers alert, just lining up stuff for THE END (gonna go with that for brevity). I'm supposed to chat with Jonny tomorrow about KFM and publication ceasing issues.
Got most of my tasks done today, including some shed cleaning. Picked through my tools, sorted them a bit, and threw out anything that was just too rusty or I couldn't figure out what it was exactly. Not thorough but at least enough to say I did it. I need to get back to working out. I only did my quaranroutine once after I got laid off. Been too depressed.
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I don't know where you asked it but the Adobe Photography Bundle is a stand alone product that just has Photoshop and Lightroom and a few other pieces. You don't have to order anything else of the Creative Suite.
As a matter of fact, my anger does keep me warm
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DAY 54: Got them mean ol' Monday blues. I'm supposed to talk to Jonny today. Mostly, I'm preparing for THE END tomorrow - gonna make a 'to do' list because I'm not thinking clearly and will want to achieve several things while at TC and then get the fuck out of there before I lose it. The big fly in the oinment is that there will be construction on the street leading to my mom's until 6 so I don't know how access will be.
Slept okay last night with some sleep aids. Went down before midnite and slept through until 5:30ish, so I'm going to call that a full 2 cycles. It's now nearly 8. I've just been in bed being depressed.
Jingles came to me last night in a dream. He just sat next to me, comfortingly as dogs do, sharing my sadness.
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DM- I recommend Firefox for a browser. You should be able to import favorites etc. It also has plug-ins for Privacy Badger and LastPass (my password program).
the hands that guide me are invisible
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05-11-2020, 09:09 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-11-2020, 09:46 PM by Drunk Monk.)
Didn't do much today really. Sorted some things for tomorrow. My mom said they finished the street work so that'll make things easier. Threw away that broken mirror that we hoped someone would take from our yard which had to be broken more to move and fit in the garbage can. Gave away our foldable cot to one of our yardworkers who was overjoyed. Watched a few vids. Mostly surfed the web and wallowed. Stacy made some great eats. She's taking such good care of me. I couldn't be more grateful. Now it's raining and I'm listening to that drizzle patter, pondering how the next day might go.
KB- I used Firefox a long time ago at work, but converted to Chrome because I'm a gmail user, plus I have a Chromebook. Now I'm adapting to Explorer again because my new laptop/tablet is a Surface Pro. In general, I've found it best to use the browser tuned to your hardware - at least that's been the case with the Chromebook. I'm still learning the SP. It's got some odd quirks that I have yet to figure out. The loss of the cursor in Chrome on it is rather annoying, but the SP is a touch screen tablet too, so I can work around it mostly.
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Day 55: Well, we're off to a bad start this morning. Rough brain circus for 1am, surely due to the tC task today. Watched some vids and dozed off but as soon as I turned off my laptop, I woke up. Been tossing and turning again, like last week. Dammit. The melatonin isn't kicking in at all. I'd been getting progressively better, but I have backslid. Sucks, man. This covid ride really sucks. I want to get off. Or at least, get some decent sleep.
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There's a Grateful Dead song in there somewhere.
As a matter of fact, my anger does keep me warm
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Ari Melber quoted the Dead on MSNBC yesterday in a report on reopening the country - 'too much too fast' - it got nods and smiles from the other 3 talking heads on the report. We are everywhere.
Well, I did get to sleep soon after I posted this morning and slept until 7ish so that's not so bad. I'll leave for TC after lunch.
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