The Shape of Water

[Drunk Monk]

Pan’s Labyrinth still haunts me so I can’t resist this Del Toro film that’s leading the Oscar noms. And I think it’ll take several of them. Stacy thinks it’s got a good shot at best pic. It celebrates cinema and the oscars luv that.

I enjoyed it. It’s sort of Swamp Thing meets Splash, but Del Toro’s visionary sense is still mighty, and this goes a lot of places, touching on themes of race, harassment, homophobia, love, loneliness, religion, Cold War, progress, obsoletion, and classic musicals, but none in a heavy handed way. It doesn’t dwell. It asserts and then moves on.  The performances are excellent across the cast, and there are many absurd plot holes, but it never lets you forget that it’s a movie so I accepted them and moved on, just to see where it would go. Some brutal ultravi and saccarin overdoses, but it all kind of works. Cat lovers beware.

[Drunk Monk]

Pan’s Labyrinth still haunts me so I can’t resist this Del Toro film that’s leading the Oscar noms. And I think it’ll take several of them. Stacy thinks it’s got a good shot at best pic. It celebrates cinema and the oscars luv that.

Called it 

[Greg]

Phil Connors should never have given those Wrestlemania tickets to Frank. First he tries to kill Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. And now he's trying to end the budding romance between Mrs. Paddington and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

And the movie starts with a nude Mrs. Paddington masturbating in the tub. That will get you going.

I had the same thought about the Oscar win as well. Hollywood does love itself some Hollywood.

As for the discussions about homophobia, racism, sexism, and male pattern baldness, they seemed heavy handed and sort of out of place. Look at us. We're talking about homophobia! Aren't we important?

I mean it is the ultimate story about not being able to choose who you fall in love with. Which I'm still wrapping my head around. It seemed she fell for the blue guy pretty quickly.

But it was skillfully done. There were lots of moving parts. He stuck to his teal and orange color palette pretty zealously.

In the end. It was fine.

[King Bob]

I thought it looked great, but was quite weak compared to Pan's Labyrinth. I was put off by the masturbation opening; I found it pointless and silly. And the villain was so cartoonishly over-the-top bad that it didn't fit with the rest of the film. And the sex scene with his wife was stupid as well as his sudden fondness for Mrs. Paddington. And the drunk/gay neighbor - did we really need to know that? Whey not just leave it open why he's home all the time and she helps him? And I felt like events all happened suddenly; there was no real development. And the voice over was a bit cheesy, particularly at the end.

My wife had the interesting idea that since we get the framing story from the artist's perspective (via voice-over) that her getting gills is just his imagination and that she was dead.

[Drunk Monk]

I thought it looked great, but was quite weak compared to Pan's Labyrinth. 

Well, shit, isn't everything by Del Toro since so?

I was put off by the masturbation opening; I found it pointless and silly. 

WHAT?!?!?  The masturbation opening was key.  It sets up how lonely Mrs. Paddington was and shows that she likes it wet.  Come on now.  The movie is about a lonely gal who fucks a fish.  That's a lot to accept.  I mean srsly, a fish?  Maybe if the fish looked like Daryl Hannah...in her prime.. but a fishy fish is hard to accept.  Only really desperate people who masturbate in tubs stoop to fucking fish.  

And the drunk/gay neighbor - did we really need to know that? Whey not just leave it open why he's home all the time and she helps him? 

That's about fucking fish too.  The whole homosexual story arc.  The message here is being gay isn't as bad as fucking fish.

My wife had the interesting idea that since we get the framing story from the artist's perspective (via voice-over) that her getting gills is just his imagination and that she was dead.

That's totally what happened.  Listen to the end narration again.  The fish and Mrs. Paddington die.  That's what they get for their sins.  Death.  Watery death.  Fish fucking is a sin.  A major burn-in-hell-for-the-rest-of-eternity sin.  But the gay guy, who isn't as bad as a fish fucker, he feels empowered by their interspecies tryst and so he rewrites the ending in his own mind.  It's all very romantic, especially if your a fish fucking pervert.  

At least, that's what I'm told.  DON'T FUCK FISH.  There should be a new by-law in the DOOM charter.  NO FISH FUCKERS.

[Greg]

That's always been in the charter. No fish fuckers.

You sound angry. Are you a secret fish fucker when you aren't masturbating in the tub?

[Drunk Monk]

That's always been in the charter. No fish fuckers.

Is that in the fine print?  I know about the poofter ban but we lifted that for the knicker fetishists.

You sound angry. Are you a secret fish fucker when you aren't masturbating in the tub?

As a matter of fact, my anger does keep me warm.

And wet.

[King Bob]

I think DM's commentary was more entertaining than the movie

[Drunk Monk]

I think DM's commentary was more entertaining than the movie

So my DOOM posts are better then nekkid bathtub masturbation and fish fucking? 

Yay? 

[Drunk Monk]

This includes fish.

[img=775x0]http://s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/s3.shermans.test/wwlam/s3fs-public/styles/nts_image_cover_tall_775x425/public/Louisiana%20Capitol%203%20%28DT%29_6.jpg?itok=5vvP-kA_&c=38bffed9a30331eff1337a31b8280efe[/img]
Louisiana law to ban sex with animals wins Senate vote 25 - 10

DAVE COHEN, WWL FIRST NEWS EARLY EDITION
APRIL 10, 2018 - 7:45 AM

The state Senate has approved a bill designed to make it clear that bestiality is illegal in Louisiana. 
A law on the books prohibits "crimes against nature," but it also outlaws so-called sodomy and was ruled unconstitutional in 2003. 
New Orleans Senator JP Morrell says it's important that the state has a way to arrest someone for having sex with animals.
He told fellow lawmakers, "God forbid you vote against this bill, good luck explaining it."
Ten senators did vote against it.
Click here for a list of state senators who voted for and against the bill which "creates the crime of sexual abuse of an animal."
The measure does also specify that previously illegal forms of "sodomy" are no longer against the law.
"Anal sexual intercourse between two human beings shall not be deemed as a crime," part of the bill states.
The measure now heads to the House of Representatives.

[Greg]

I guess you better stay out of Louisiana.

[Drunk Monk]

I guess you better stay out of Louisiana.

I know you are but what am I?  

Oh wait. That doesn’t quite work here. Mothafishfuk.

[King Bob]

DM - it was a good rant. I laughed. I don't remember laughing during the movie.

[Drunk Monk]

DM - it was a good rant. I laughed. I don't remember laughing during the movie.

Thanks. If we can't rant at each other, WTH is DOOM for, right?  

[Greg]

I use it as a write off for my taxes.