Cutie Honey

[Drunk Monk]

Honey Flash! bah bah bah da bah da bah....

[Drunk Monk]

...so i guess it's up to me to review cutie honey before the next impending doom showing wipes my slate clean again.

i may hold the title for the most japanese rubber-suit-fighting-monsters viewing in doom. ed has me beat with ultraman, since he was quite the collector back in the day, and i have no idea about hk's knowledge of the field, but going to hawaii a lot as a youth exposed me to a lot more than just ultraman and goldar. i saw the whole ultrafamily series. i followed rainbow seven and was actually a huge fan of kikaida (which i still hold high as the best of the genre). and i've probably had to watch more power rangers than i'd like to admit, mostly for professional purposes because of some of the people invovled (ask me about the power ranger murderer sometime). i lost touch with it, but zebraman and cutie honey brought me right back, rekindled the fire, if you will.

cutie honey reminded me of how brazilian kids shows have bikini models - similtaneuosly empowering and degrading at the same time. i'd be really interested in female reactions to it, an experiment that cranefly is carrying out at this moment, so i hear.

if hello kitty made ultraman, cutie honey would be right there. it's would probably be pg over here, but just because of explosions. there's some implied nudity, but nothing is ever shown for real. garish color schemes, hilarous cartoon villains, stream-of-conscious plot twists, a great heroine, and the hug of death. who can fault a herione who hugs people to death? i'd highly recommend it to someone getting their feet wet in asian cinema because it is so absurd.

the soundtrack sank it. it struck me as the kind of thing someone might dream up at a rave while raging on x, but anyone who's been there konws those visions seldome come back all the way - sort of a kublai khan problem, if you get my meaning. that probably doesn't make sense to any of you since i doubt y'all did that much in the rave scene - you didn't miss much and what you did miss, you probably wouldn't have remembered anyway.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

I should get a medal.

What do you mean there was no nudity? What's the point of the whole Honey Flash if not to highlight absurdly large breasts? And who the hell drew grandpa Henbei? Was he drunk? Did he miss the class on teeth?

It was a very strange 2 hours. I kept expecting Speed Racer to show up. The most surreal aspect of watching the show was the fact it was dubbed and had sub-titles. The two never quite jibed. I guess this sort of thing should be seen in the company of the brotherhood instead of in the afternoon by myself with the Queen occasionally coming out to mock me.

[Drunk Monk]

Did you watch the cartoon version or the live action version? We watched the live action one, with real live actresses. It wasn't separated into episodes. It was just one movie. Not a cartoon.

Can we join the queen in mocking you now?

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

At least I'm trying to keep up. Cartoon, yes. But there was a featurette on the DVD which showed what looked like a High School production of the show. But how many anime boobs where in the live action version.

Okay, I stand ashamed.

[Drunk Monk]

anyone can draw a boob. we need real boobs.

of course, only the queen can bake boobs, chocolate chip boobs no less, but that's another story entirely.

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

Why the Queen suffers at my hands is anyone's guess, but I think I earned a few points in my favor for what I did this holiday weekend. Sure, I could have flown to Florida to spend quality time with her folks, but anyone could do that. I think what I did was much nobler. I rented the live action Cutie Honey to watch sans Queen. Kudos to me, right?

There weren't any boobs in this film. My first tip off should have been the opening shots of Cutie in her underwear. Then later when she does the HONEY FLASH, they blurred her out. I think they did the rest of the Honey Flash's off screen. Cheaters.

It was dubbed, which I don't like. Especially using very strange voices. There was some nice quirky camera work during the initial battle, but the outfit for Leopard Claw just made me giggle. And the Super Villian was equally funny with those Tear scars on her face.

Was this film made for kids? Then why all the ass shot compositions? If it was made for adults, why did they all act like two year olds? And what was with the lesbian overtones between Cutie and Natty? Am I putting too much thought into a film that probably doesn't merit it?

[Drunk Monk]

it evolved to harajuku. don't worry, i don't get it either. it's a japanese thang.