snails and slugs

[cranefly]

Well, it's that time of year. A bit of a garden. Seeds germinating, fresh seedlings everywhere.
So. I killed 400 snails and slugs over the past 2 days.
And they won.
In Buddhism, do snails and slugs count as living things? Okay, I already know the answer. This is one of those rhetorical questions, and I already know that I just ate a huge dekarma apple.
Lady Cranefly helped, by the way. She stood out near the garden pointing. "There, there's another one. Oh, and one over there. Ewh, a big one by your left foot!"
In the middle of her assistance, she also made this grudging admission: "So this is what men are good for. Dealing with something like this."

I don't hate snails and slugs. I'd rather not kill them. But this is ridiculous. All I need is for one of my 50 zucchini plants to pull through. Do you think they'll give me that? No-ooooh.

Not that I particularly like them either. I mean, things that slither like that are just hideous.

Well, almost all things that slither like that.

http://www.lemonzoo.com/funny_content/14586/show.html

--cranely

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

One minutes, it's death to slugs in the garden, the next it's wierd boneless women who could do with a proper meal. I'd say stick to the topic, but I don't know what is the topic.

[cranefly]

I would like to formally apologize for drifting off topic.

It won't happen again. Trust me. I know what I'm doing.

--cranefly

http://www.jokaroo.com/extremevideos/flexigirl.html

[cranefly]

I checked my garden again this morning. There were another 15 or so flexible girls in my beer traps. I rounded them up and packed them into my Prius and headed for the Society for Providing Flexible Girls with Backbones.

I should have put them in a cage, because they were all over the car. It's a wonder I didn't have an accident. Then, when I got to the Society for Providing Flexible Girls with Backbones, wouldn't you know it. There was a line of 30 cars. It's that time of year, you know.

Anyway, while waiting, I played Twister with the flexible girls. That turned out to be a big mistake. I mean, there's no way you can win. Still, it did have its sensual elements. The problem is, I just never could let go of the knowledge that they had eaten all my zucchini plants.

Flexible girls didn't use to be a problem. It's all drunk monk's fault. Him and his vegetarian preachings. Back in my day, flexible girls stayed where they belonged: out in the fields with the cows, in the coops with the chickens, in the pens with the hogs. But not anymore. Because of drunk monk and his evil ideas, I have to deal with flexible girls every morning.

Every. Single. Morning.

--cranefly

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

Whole Earth Foods?

I guess you skipped the whole, if you grow it they will come lesson?

[Drunk Monk]

Don't believe CF. I never share my flexible girls...