Snow Monster (2019)

[Drunk Monk]

Ever surf all your streaming platforms - literally tens of thousands of movies - and then make a really bad choice? Snow Monster is about a yeti, so I figured 'What the hell? Maybe I'll learn something incriminating about the Maestro." As if I don't already have enough. 

Some scientists are exploring the snowy mountains where there's volcanic activity and strange magnetism. They discover prehistoric cave birds, giant snow sharks, a primative tribe and the snow monster, which - and this is the best part - is a dude in a suit. It's got plenty of CGI effects, but the snow monster is an old school kaiju dude in a suit. He's huge, like King Kong huge, and this is basically King Kong in the snowy China mountains. There's an evil scientist who wants to kill everyone for the discovery and his band of mercenaries that go full auto on just about anything that moves but can't down them. The merc leader has a cool vinyl trenchcoat which doesn't look that warm in the snow. There's a reluctant hero, a scientist hottie, a fat comic relief named 'Fatty', a tribal warrior hottie, and did I mention the snow sharks? They pop out of the snow, breeching to gobble up people, and they have spiky armored carapaces. 

No sword fights but some okay Kung Fu. Not DOOM recommended but I've posted it below if you're still surfing for something to watch. It's free with subs but you got to skip ads. 

[Greg]

Can I guess that you pitched a Chinese Horror film fest for Halloween article to DoG?

[Drunk Monk]

You can guess but you’d be wrong. The call for Halloween articles sent out a few weeks ago. They've got all 31 days mapped out already. I just stumbled across this because it popped up on my YouTube home page. And I must confess - I was Yeti curious.

Come on now. You must admit you’ve been a little yeti curious. There’s no shame in being a little yeti curious. We just don’t need to know the details. That would be way tmi.

[Greg]

I lived with the Yeti. Curiosity has died in that regard.

[Drunk Monk]

I lived with Yeti too. I always wondered what he was laughing about in the middle of the night. It was unsettling.

I should add that the Snow Monster is benevolent. He kills snow sharks and had a connection with the tribe queen. He only gets upset when attacked by full auto mercs.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

[Nods wisely]

[Drunk Monk]

This is how I remember Castle Highland


I'll add two points:
1. The tribe all had vulcan ears. Not sure why.
2. The Yeti suit was charming. It made me nostalgic for old school Tokusatsu.

[Greg]

What is Castle Highland?

[Drunk Monk]

It was swallowed whole by a snow shark. 



I formally recant my earlier DOOM nonrecommendation. Given the scintillating conversation this film review has elicited, I now strongly recommend y'all giving it a peep. I posted the link at the beginning of this thread. It's free on YouTube with subs. You just gotta click 'skip ads' every once in a while.