Rebel Moon: Child of Fire (2023)

[Greg]

To paraphrase James Hong, "We keep hoping, like fools"

[Greg]

Taking one for the team tonight and watching Scargiver while The Queen is out of town.

[Greg]

I made it halfway through before deciding my time would be better spent sleeping. I might move this the good awful thread, but I'm no quitter.

[Greg]

That was bad. Did they ever say why the lead was given the name Scargiver? Did we need half an hour on wheat farming? Can you build an underground bunker complex overnight? Why does everybody have to scream so much. Are coal fired spaceships a thing?

Skip it.

[Drunk Monk]

I’m still going to watch. We often disagree on reviews although I suspect we’ll agree on this. I disdain Snyder. Still traumatized by Sucker Punch. But I need to see it because of the circles I run in and work for, ya know?

[Greg]

Do what you have to do.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........

[Drunk Monk]

seen

It’s so Snyder. Some awesome visual elements but vacuous. Characters so underdeveloped that they must explain themselves. So much gratuitous slo mo. Threadbare plot - baddies attack village.  Illage defends itself. The action scenes are good conceptually - particularly the light sword fight on the tilted ship - but there was no emotional investment. I was kinda hoping for a Rogue One ending where everybody dies. 

What makes this so epically disappointing is like most all of Snyder’s work, it had such potential. Snyder can put together an eye popping scene but he can’t write a story around it. So much resource and effort to deliver something with less depth than an 80s music video. 

I kinda liked the coal fueled ship. That was almost funny. The slo mo wheat harvesting got tiresome after 3 mins.

As my mind wandered away, I started imagining this as a Star Wars film, replacing the dreadnaught with a star destroyer, the Motherworld with the empire, the mechs with at-ats, and so on. That didn’t help. As a Star Wars film, it would’ve brought nothing new to the franchise, being so much of a rip off of it. 

It was a good role for Cary Elwes. Glad he still finds work. Doona was underused. I did like the final light sword fight. 

We’ll be back here for #3, if Snyder can still find money. This was originally to be a trilogy, then each movie was split into two for a hexology. Snyder wants to release an R rated deluxe cut, as if we wanted to watch that at all.

[Drunk Monk]

Or maybe wait for the R-rated Snyder cut. That’ll be better, right?

called it

ZACK SNYDER’S ‘REBEL MOON’ DIRECTOR’S CUT COMING TO NETFLIX THIS SUMMER

Matt Singer
Published: June 11, 2024

Just a few months after both premiered on Netflix, Zack Snyder’s two Rebel Moon films are already getting director’s cuts. The new versions of the films will both begin streaming on the service later this summer.
With their new footage, both movies are getting new subtitles as well. Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire is now Rebel Moon — Chapter One: Chalice of Blood. Rebel Moon — Part Two: The Scargiver is now Rebel Moon — Chapter Two: Curse of Forgiveness. (Everyone got that?)
In interviews, Snyder has promised that the new versions of the film will contain more than an hour of new footage, including a different opening sequence.
The films in either form are essentially Seven Samurai by way of Star Wars, with a village on a remote farming planet recruiting mercenary warriors from across the final frontier to help defend their home from the forces of the evil Motherworld.
Netflix already split the film into two parts after Snyder delivered such a massive film in the first place. In their original versions, A Child of Fire was 134 minutes long and The Scargiver was 122 minutes. That means the combined director’s cuts will be at least five hours long. That’s a whole lot of rebelling moons.

Netflix

Here is how Netflix describes these new versions of the film...

Delve further into the mythology and madness of Zack Snyder’s epic sci-fi saga in the viciously sexier, bloodier world of Rebel Moon — Chapter One: Chalice of Blood and Rebel Moon – Chapter Two: Curse of Forgiveness. In Snyder’s director’s cut, a peaceful settlement on a moon in the furthest reaches of the universe finds itself threatened by the armies of the tyrannical Regent Balisarius, and Kora (Sofia Boutella), a mysterious stranger living among the villagers, becomes their best hope for survival. Tasked with finding trained fighters who will unite with her in making an impossible stand against the Motherworld, Kora assembles a small band of warriors — outsiders, insurgents, peasants, and orphans of war who share a common need for redemption and revenge. As the shadow of an entire Realm bears down on the unlikeliest of moons, a new army of heroes is formed.

Both new director’s cuts of Rebel Moon premiere on Netflix on August 2.

[Greg]

Nope.

[Greg]

And here is the trailer for the Director's cut of Rebel Moon now called Chalice of Blood. Drops Aug 2. 

[Drunk Monk]

go for it, bro

it's going to be better

how could it be worse?

[Greg]

No, thanks, Lucy. I know your ways.