300

[Greg_phpbb3_import1]

Just so you know, War is Good

Some days you wish you were homosexual. Then those three hundred buff guys in leather bikini bottoms, with six pack abs and rippling biceps would have paid off a lot more for me. C'est le vie.

The one review I read mentioned that the director of 300 was a commercial director and this was his first feature, so all the visuals were slick. The reviewer kept waiting for the money shot of the Cadillac. It's a beautifully composed film. A lot of the images look like they came straight out of the graphic novel upon which it was based.

There needed to be more source material for the film. It went from were off to battle to were winning some battles to we are dead. And how many shots do you need of somebody holding in his intestines with his hands. On the plus side, the fighting was shot without cuts to make it look better. They were all one long takes with the film speeding up and slowing down to highlight action. It looked great.

The soundtrack was good. They sucked you in with the war is good and to die in battle is glorious message. (Spoiler: The worst curse in the film is "I hope you live forever") Not great, but not a poke in the eye with a sharp stick either. At least it wasn't Norbit.

[cranefly]

I'm gonna have to be honest. I have absolutely no interest in seeing this movie. Maybe I should, but I'm just not interested. Part of the problem is that I'm not a big fan of conspiracies, or of numerology -- though I must admit I was sorely tempted by the preview tidbit that if you add 366 to 300 you get 666.

Still, I'm not very religious, and even though I am a firm believer in Armageddon, I doubt some magic number is going to trigger our downfall. More likely it will be the IQ of the guy in the White House.

I was also tempted by the image (thanks to Greg's visual description) of Jim Carrey in leather bikini bottoms. Not since W.C. Fields has there been a more athletic comedian. The idea of seeing him stripped down to his teeny-weenies and acting goofy had me reaching for my car keys. The problem is, from what I understand, he acts seriously throughout. All he gets to do is chatter on endlessly about the magic number 300.

Dude! Get a clue!
Or better yet, get an agent with a clue.

The mention of beheadings got my hopes up as well, though I'm not certain how that fits into a mathaholic preachathon. Because I could certainly see Jim Carrey playing some hockey with those heads for good laughs. But as mentioned before, he doesn't get to do anything funny, so that's out.

By the way, what do you call a head that is the result of a decapitation? A head without a body? I mean, the English language desperately needs a nice pat term for it. I am going to suggest behead. It's a verb, true. But lots of verbs serve double-duty as nouns. Then we could say that the beheads were flying, and everyone would know instantly what we're talking about.

Except that Jim Carrey doesn't get to kick any of the beheads. And that, ultimately, is the reason I will not go see this movie.

--cranefly

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

But how was the poster?

[King Bob]

I just saw this and it was one of the worst movies I've ever seen, although not as bad as Texas Chainsaw Massacre. WAY too much slo-mo, and too many "inspiring" speeches. Plus the idea of holding up the Spartans as archetypes of free men is ridiculous. And not even bad-good, like Sin City.

[Dr. Ivor Yeti]

One of my friends damned it with these words: "Underwear-models killing each other in slow-motion". She was not impressed.

[Drunk Monk]

i'm too homophobic to see this now.