Night Master

[Drunk Monk]

If only I could direct Nicole Kidman in a ninja flick. If only. First off, it'd be all about Nicole. Second, I'd have martial artists instead of gymnasts for the fights. Third, I wouldn't have such gratuitous Aussie band shots. Third, there would be some sort of plot. Fourth, I would figure out if the drugs involved were something that you shoot or something that you chop up in lines on a mirror. Fifth, if I got an R rating, I'd show some sex and violence. Sixth, it'd be all about Nicole...wait, I said that. Well, at least I'd have her after her eyebrows filled in.

Nicole Kidman in a ninja flick. I just couldn't resist and now I'm filled with regret.

Sword fights? There is a kendo fight, but it's so pathetically bad. And Nicole isn't involved.