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The Meats We Eat - Printable Version

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as you may know, I'm a white guy.... - King Bob - 06-22-2006

So I've never had geoduck. I've suggested it when getting Chinese, but my friends were afraid. I thought about it because of Spotted Dick in the pudding and cheese thread.

I keep forgetting that you're a vegetarian now. Or should I say for now. We have both carnivore and herbivore teeth, after all.


I'm coming up on my first anniversary as a vegetarian... - Drunk Monk - 08-31-2006

...maybe I'll celebrate with a bacon cheeseburger. I'm bummed out that I haven't lost any weight on this diet. I guess there's a lot of fat in seafood and salad.

Did I ever tell you my flea tea story? I was in China, where weird foods abound, in Beijing specifically, and my hosts were treating me to a nice lunch at a fairly upscale restaurant. It was one of those places that offered a gazillion types of tea and one of my hosts insisted on selecting this gourmet brand. I'm always game for good tea. This was a flower tea so the cup was brimming with tiny fragrant petals. Among the petals, I noticed these little bugs, kind of like white flies, very tiny, but tons of them. At first I thought the flower tea was bad. But then I noticed my hosts were examining the tea quite closely and admiringly. They had to see the bugs. And they were savoring every gulp. So here was a typical dilemna of an American in China. I could say 'WTF?! This tea has bugs in it!!' and my host might lose face and I might come off as some lunatic non-Chinese, obviously lacking the culture to appreciate such gourmet cuisine. Or maybe it was just some cruel prank. Or maybe that was just the way this tea was supposed to be. There was too much of a communication gap - hell I still don't know how to translate 'WTF' or 'bug' (although I could manage the rest). So I decided to just drink it. And you know, it was quite good.


The Doctor's - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 09-10-2006

I went to Hogly Wogly's and all is right again with the world. Ah, hot links and brisket. They have once again proven their worth in the natural order of things.


*sniff* - Haggis Killer - 09-11-2006

I'm so.... so... happy.....


- Dr. Ivor Yeti - 09-19-2006

"But Doctor Hoggly-Woggly, I didn't mean for you to kill ALL of the animals!"

Tasty, tasty animals...!


He doesn't - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 09-19-2006

He only kills the ones that go good with BBq sauce. Geoduck, Feh.


Good BBQ sauce could make a burnt turd tasty - Drunk Monk - 09-27-2006

BTW, PPFY, is Big Nate's still in business? I think I'm still stuffed from that last potato basket.


Now here's some real meat!!! - Drunk Monk - 09-28-2006

Quote:Beijing's penis emporium
By Andrew Harding
BBC News, Beijing

There are many thousands of Chinese restaurants around in the UK and everyone has their favourite dish, but only in China itself do chefs specialise in a range of slightly more unusual delicacies.

A glass of deer penis juice amongst food on a table at the restaurant
Many of the restaurant's guests are wealthy businessmen

The dish in front of me is grey and shiny.

"Russian dog," says my waitress Nancy.

"Big dog," I reply.

"Yes," she says. "Big dog's penis..."

We are in a cosy restaurant in a dark street in Beijing but my appetite seems to have gone for a stroll outside.

Nancy has brought out a whole selection of delicacies.

They are draped awkwardly across a huge platter, with a crocodile carved out of a carrot as the centrepiece.

Nestling beside the dog's penis are its clammy testicles, and beside that a giant salami-shaped object.

"Donkey," says Nancy. "Good for the skin..."

She guides me round the penis platter.

"Snake. Very potent. They have two penises each."

I did not know that.

Deer-blood cocktail

"Sheep... horse... ox... seal - excellent for the circulation."

She points to three dark, shrivelled lumps which look like liquorice allsorts - a special treat apparently - reindeer, from Manchuria.


Government officials... two of them... they're having the penis hotpot
Nancy

The Guolizhuang restaurant claims to be China's only speciality penis emporium, and no, it is not a joke.

The atmosphere is more exotic spa than boozy night-out.

Nancy describes herself as a nutritionist.

"We don't call them waiters here. And we don't serve much alcohol," she says. "Only common people come here to get drunk and laugh."

But she does offer me a deer-blood and vodka cocktail, which I decide to skip.

Medicinal purposes

The restaurant's gristly menu was dreamt up by a man called Mr Guo.

Boiled ox penis
The Chinese believe that eating penis can enhance your virility

He is 81 now and retired.

After fleeing China's civil war back in 1949, he moved to Taiwan, and then to Atlanta, Georgia, where he began to look deeper into traditional Chinese medicine, and experiment on the appendages of man's best friend.

Apparently, they are low in cholesterol and good, not just for boosting the male sex drive, but for treating all sorts of ailments.

Laughter trickles through the walls of our dining room.

"Government officials," says Nancy. "Two of them upstairs. They're having the penis hotpot."

Most of the restaurant's guests are either wealthy businessmen or government bureaucrats who, as Nancy puts it, have been brought here by people who want their help.

What better way to secure a contract than over a steaming penis fondue.

Discretion is assured as all the tables are in private rooms.

The glitziest one has gold dishes.

"Some like their food served raw," says Nancy, "like sushi. But we can cook it anyway you like."

Rare order

"Not long ago, a particularly rich real estate mogul came in with four friends. All men. Women don't come here so often, and they shouldn't eat testicles," says Nancy solemnly.

The men spent $5,700 (£3,000) on a particularly rare dish, something that needed to be ordered months in advance.

"Tiger penis," says Nancy.

The illegal trade in tiger parts is a big problem in China.

Campaigners say the species is being driven towards extinction because of its popularity as a source of traditional medicine.

I mention this, delicately, to Nancy, but she insists that all her tiger supplies come from animals that have died of old age.

"Anyway, we only have one or two orders a year," she says.

"So what does it taste like?" I ask.

"Oh, the same as all the others," she says blithely.

And does it have any particular potency? "No. People just like to order tiger to show off how much money they have."

Welcome to the People's Republic of China - tigers beware.

Sliced and pickled

"Oh yes," she adds, "the same group also ate an aborted reindeer foetus.

"That is very good for your skin. And here it is..."

Another "nutritionist" walks in bearing something small and red wrapped in cling film.

My appetite is heading for the airport.

Still, I think, it would be rude not to try something.

I am normally OK about this sort of thing. I have had fried cockroaches and sheep's eyes, so...

There is a small bowl of sliced and pickled ox penis on the table.

I pick up a piece with my chopsticks and start to chew. It is cold and bland and rubbery.

Nancy gives me a matronly smile.

"This one," she says, "should be eaten every day."

Go to the site to see the pics
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/5371500.stm


No - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 09-28-2006

Did I mention No?


I'm told it tastes like geoduck... - Drunk Monk - 09-29-2006

...unless you put special sauce on it. Then it tastes like a Big Mac.


- Dr. Ivor Yeti - 10-08-2006

Yup (to get back to a tastier subject) Big Nate's is still there. Leon's (by the zoo) is gone, however. I wonder how the zoo is gonna get rid of their carcasses now?


Bad Burbank BBQ - Greg_phpbb3_import1 - 10-23-2006

They took out the Tony Romas and replaced it with Smilin Jacks. Maybe they should have just burned the place to the ground and been done with the whole BBQ in Burbank idea. I had the brisket. The Queen had the Fish and Chips (Odd choice but she enjoyed her repast) The brisket came withou sauce. Putting the sauce on was to my discretion. They brought six to the table in a tasteful O'Douls Beer six back carriet. We should have left then. I did manage to make it home before getting sick.

Oops. TMI? Sorry.


- Dr. Ivor Yeti - 10-27-2006

Dude, you denied "The Doctor"?!? You deserved to get sick, you cheatin' hussy!


if memory serves.... - Drunk Monk - 10-30-2006

...the O'Douls should have totally been your warning sign. Were the bottles even cleaned?


Thai delicacies - Drunk Monk - 05-24-2007

So many treats. Why, if we were still doing nightdrops, just imagine the kinds of goodies we could have added to our arsenal.

https://www.thailandunique.com